Would appreciate any advice on how to deal with a stalker. This guy is really scarying me. I had given him a business card with my name on not thinking he could get any personal information about me, I was supposed to be unlisted in the directory. I always do that every since I worked as a corrections officer. Somehow he got my info and has called me at least 10x a day, for 3 days now. one time he will be yelling the next time he will be pretending to be a salesman! I saved the messages but I'm concerned he might find were i live. Restraining orders don't work! Would appreciate ANY advice on this it's like i feel he is everywhere I am. I am constantly looking over my shoulder. I told him to never call back after the first time he called, but it's getting worse. Thanks for any help I can get Lori
I know you may feel that Restraining orders wont work but you need to start some sort of paper trail.
Please start making reports. Harrassing phone calls is a misdemeanor here... and worth making a report over. No tresspass orders are good too... if he comes to your place of work get the warning issued and then every time get him arrested.
There is a stalking charge here in florida along with aggravated stalking... I dont know what state you live in, so you need to research what laws apply where you are.
since you work as a CO... change all your Id to the work addy.. your drivers license ect... have all your mail go to a PO box so that he cannot get access to your mailbox.
You need to change all your phone numbers and make them only available to your family and work. Tell them what is going on so they wont accidentally give your new number out.
Unfortunately you are the victim here and yet its you who has to make all the changes to ensure your safety.
I hope this helps you some?
you can also use a camera or video to tape him if he is around you etc...
thank you for your advice.It helps me alot. I have never been through this before, it is pretty scary. I have dealt with alot of nut cases before but not on a personal level! I will start working on a paper trail, I have already wrote down each time he called and have saved 2 messages. I really don't have alot of faith in restraining orders but i should at least try to get one. He called my work yesterday and today! He only has had my business card since sat!!!!!! There are some real nut cases out there! He acts like we have known each other for a long time. I did a background check on him and he is clean in Mi anyway. I'll bet there is something on him somewhere just don't no where to look. Thanks again I feel better just talking about it. Lori
I totally agree! Get the restraining order......if anything, it shows you are in fear of this person and *IF* something was to happen to you, he would be the first person they would be looking for. I hope you have enough info on him to get that restraining order. Be safe!!
750.411h Stalking; definitions; violation as misdemeanor; penalties; probation; conditions; evidence of continued conduct as rebuttable presumption; additional penalties.
(1) As used in this section:
(a) “Course of conduct” means a pattern of conduct composed of a series of 2 or more separate noncontinuous acts evidencing a continuity of purpose.
(b) “Emotional distress” means significant mental suffering or distress that may, but does not necessarily, require medical or other professional treatment or counseling.
(c) “Harassment” means conduct directed toward a victim that includes, but is not limited to, repeated or continuing unconsented contact that would cause a reasonable individual to suffer emotional distress and that actually causes the victim to suffer emotional distress. Harassment does not include constitutionally protected activity or conduct that serves a legitimate purpose.
(d) “Stalking” means a willful course of conduct involving repeated or continuing harassment of another individual that would cause a reasonable person to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed, or molested and that actually causes the victim to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed, or molested.
(e) “Unconsented contact” means any contact with another individual that is initiated or continued without that individual's consent or in disregard of that individual's expressed desire that the contact be avoided or discontinued. Unconsented contact includes, but is not limited to, any of the following:
(i) Following or appearing within the sight of that individual.
(ii) Approaching or confronting that individual in a public place or on private property.
(iii) Appearing at that individual's workplace or residence.
(iv) Entering onto or remaining on property owned, leased, or occupied by that individual.
(v) Contacting that individual by telephone.
(vi) Sending mail or electronic communications to that individual.
(vii) Placing an object on, or delivering an object to, property owned, leased, or occupied by that individual.
(f) “Victim” means an individual who is the target of a willful course of conduct involving repeated or continuing harassment.
(2) An individual who engages in stalking is guilty of a crime as follows:
(a) Except as provided in subdivision (b), a misdemeanor punishable by imprisonment for not more than 1 year or a fine of not more than $1,000.00, or both.
(b) If the victim was less than 18 years of age at any time during the individual's course of conduct and the individual is 5 or more years older than the victim, a felony punishable by imprisonment for not more than 5 years or a fine of not more than $10,000.00, or both.
(3) The court may place an individual convicted of violating this section on probation for a term of not more than 5 years. If a term of probation is ordered, the court may, in addition to any other lawful condition of probation, order the defendant to do any of the following:
(a) Refrain from stalking any individual during the term of probation.
(b) Refrain from having any contact with the victim of the offense.
(c) Be evaluated to determine the need for psychiatric, psychological, or social counseling and if, determined appropriate by the court, to receive psychiatric, psychological, or social counseling at his or her own expense.
(4) In a prosecution for a violation of this section, evidence that the defendant continued to engage in a course of conduct involving repeated unconsented contact with the victim after having been requested by the victim to discontinue the same or a different form of unconsented contact, and to refrain from any further unconsented contact with the victim, gives rise to a rebuttable presumption that the continuation of the course of conduct caused the victim to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed, or molested.
(5) A criminal penalty provided for under this section may be imposed in addition to any penalty that may be imposed for any other criminal offense arising from the same conduct or for any contempt of court arising from the same conduct.
History: Add. 1992, Act 260, Eff. Jan. 1, 1993 ;-- Am. 1997, Act 65, Eff. Mar. 31, 1998
Also, make sure you save any and all voice messages, e-mails, instant messages, snail mail, EVERYTHING you get from him.
Get a order for protection (restraining order). Minnesota also has a Harassment Restraining Order, which is similar but different than a Order for Protection.
Here you have to send a certified letter to a person to officially make them "trespassed" from your property, don't know how it works where you are...but I would suggest doing that also.
thanks again guys this helps. Do you think I have enough info? He looked up my home phone #,called 3x sunday night, he then called again mon morn starting at 8:02am til 10:30am 6x, then again when i got to work at 2pm and at home at 205pm he called both places, then again when i got home at 11:00pm and 11:05pm. He started again this morn at 6am the 7am then almost every hour on the hour all day long. he can't call when i'm online so my guess is he is getting really mad about now. Do you think I have enough for a restraining order or no?
thanks for the policy and procedure on stalking ,i think i have enough,I'm going to the court house in the morning i just hope that nothing happens to me before then.This guy is looney!!!! I only talked to him once! I don't have his address though should that matter?
You stated you're a prior CO, and currently a security guard. Why did you give your business card? Is this someone you caught shoplifting, a potential client, etc?
You could try to get a restraining order, and record any messages as stated above. Did you report this to your local police - and if so what was the outcome?
YES. GET THE ORDER.
Originally Posted by loliprice
With the caveat of not knowing Mi Laws, what you've described sounds to me like Harassment at the least. You need to contact your local PD about this Immediately, and start documenting it. Keep a log of every call he makes, and whether or not it shows on your Caller ID. Remember, even if it's marked "Private" the phone company has a record of the actual number the call came from. Here, we have people use *57. What that does is (For a small cahrge) flag the number in the records. We then get a subpoena for that record from the phone company, and we can charge the caller criminally with harassment. The look on their face when we show up at the door to get them is usually priceless. if you dont have a siliar feature with your local phone company, by recording date and time, for each offending call, it can be chacked through the records the same way, it just takes a little longer when they arent conveniently flagged. The More you Document this stuff the better a case you have for a Stalking charge.
Originally Posted by loliprice
On a personal level, if you are armed, then carry, if not, then get yourself some good OC spray.. Be aware of your surroundings, check your car before you get into it, the usual drill. If he DOES approach you..OC to the eyes, and as his hands go up, the tip of your shoe should be attempting to send his umm "Football" for a 50-yard field goal...That should take the wind out of his sails for long enough for you to either get help, or get out of the area....and..Document Document DOCUMENT!!!!
A lot of great information has already been given. Out here, an addition you can have to a restraining order is called an no contact order. With that in hand, that covers phone calls, etc. And as already mention, but I can't stress enough, document, keep a record, save all messages, etc.
Also, hang up every time he calls or dont answer..DONOT speak to him....any response you are giving him will "feed" whatever sick need/jolly he is getting from the phone harrassment
In a lot of cases that isnt going to matter. I'm involved in one now where the Restrainee actually works herself up MORE when she's ignored
Originally Posted by dapples
I realize this is an old thread, I hope the issue is settled for this person, but it might be helpful to other stalkers' targets to be aware of this resource.
ALways call police to report these kind of issues. At minimum you can get the protective order. At the most, if he forces a physical conflict you have evidence that he is the aggressor and has threatenedyou.
I hate to be gloomy but if you have to run him over with your car or put a bullet in his ass you will stand an enormous chance of getting out of the situation without jail time.
I have dealt with people who tell me that they have had problems with a guy for months or years but never reported it.
In most cases in the eyes of the police, if you did not report it then it officially did not happen (in regards to criminal charges).
He is trying to make you a victim....do not let him!