serious question.....kinda

**Doc_Holliday** · 04-11-07, 08:45 PM

How much does your marital situation, or previous, affect your hiring process. I am going through a divorce, which RIGHT NOW is very friendly and amicable, but as we all know, could change at the drop of a hat. I know I need to include she who will not be named on my applications, and that they will interview her. If things go south, how much do they take her opinions in to account as far as the background?

Serious responses, and smart ass jokes are appreciated and encouraged...LMAO

**Just KC** · 04-11-07, 09:01 PM

Well they will only be interviewing her once......and of course they will take the situation into consideration and probably *expect* her to not be in favor of you and your history....but as long as YOU are honest, up front, and can show you will be able to handle the stress of divorce, change of life plans, and the stress of academy and this future job, I am sure it won't weigh heavy. Hang in there and stay positive! Everyone has bumps in the road...and I know quite a few that were in academy during their divorce. That alone is VERY rough because you HAVE to be at academy everyday and have no time for court hearings. So keep that in mind.

**Just KC** · 04-11-07, 09:01 PM

and whoops..my bad...i replied and didn't notice this was in *ask a cop* forum. Sorry!

**Doc_Holliday** · 04-11-07, 09:09 PM

I am ALWAYS eager for your replies KC, anyones input is appreciated
Actually, its my desire to be a cop thats pushing this...I want to get all my ducks in a row so to speak BEFORE the academy.

**jmur5074** · 04-11-07, 09:29 PM

Well, you might want others opinions before doing what I did.

After college, my landlord SCREWED me royally on my security deposit. After several lengthy correspondences telling him I wanted my money, I finally gave up and just accepted the fact that the son of a gun robbed me.

When I got my background packet, the investigator asked me if I was aware of anything that would come up. I informed him that my old landlord would probably have nothing good to say about me, because I kept writing him letters asking to get my full deposit back.

I got hired.

**gozling** · 04-11-07, 09:44 PM

I think it depends on each dept. and their 'stuff'... I know our dept is large and something like that means nothing...
The investigators understand some situations...
Just stay honest and if things go south, then you need to inform your investigator ast to what is happening and why.

I was in a divorce when I got hired... and it wasn't all too friendly.

**Doc_Holliday** · 04-11-07, 10:45 PM

thanks guys, and goz's, I didnt think it would be a big deal, as I fullyintended to be up front and honest about it, just curious...

**Jks9199** · 04-11-07, 11:29 PM

As others have said...

Be honest. Tell them that you're going through a divorce. (Most background packets ask about marital status anyway.) Be ready to tell them why -- even (and probably especially) if it's not flattering to you. Broadly speaking, divorce won't rule you out of most agencies, unless the reason for the divorce calls your character into question.

**CT209** · 04-12-07, 02:10 AM

I went through one of the worst divorces ever about 8 years before I got hired. My ex- and I are still not on speaking terms to this day. She went so far as to contact my PD and "fill them in" on her view of me. I still got hired. I have this funny feeling they took her input for what it was worth, which was zilch.

**sgtpelon** · 04-12-07, 11:38 PM

Usually, the background investigators are looking for any domestic violence, excessive drinking, use of drugs, or anything detrimental. Just because your ex thinks you are an A** H*** doesn't amount to a hill of beans. That is expected. I got hired with two divorces at my new agency. They are looking for personality flaws that would make you a bad candidate for the job.

**ohionarc** · 04-13-07, 08:10 AM

Originally Posted by Jks9199

As others have said...

Be honest. Tell them that you're going through a divorce. (Most background packets ask about marital status anyway.) Be ready to tell them why -- even (and probably especially) if it's not flattering to you. Broadly speaking, divorce won't rule you out of most agencies, unless the reason for the divorce calls your character into question.

I recently had an "update" on my background done and the parameters had been expanded...they talked to my ex....my experience having done backgrounds for my agency many years ago, and being in this biz has been that most investigators understand the marital and personal issues that effect us.....just for god sake be honest. leaving something out is one thing, but if you mislead your are dead in the water.

**Morning Coffee** · 04-13-07, 01:13 PM

Great question Doc , I also am going through a divorce and i did not want to apply to a dept until my divorce was over , but the responses here are making me rethink my decision . My future ex would do anything he could to wreck my chances as he is a former l.e.o and is quite good at manipulation of the truth as he sees it so that has made me quite wary of starting the procedeure .
Thanks for asking the question Doc and thank you to others for your answers .

**keith720** · 04-13-07, 03:42 PM

I'm on our interview panel, and it doesn't make any difference if you're getting a divorce, as long as you haven't been whooping on her!

Seriously, any domestic violence or related D.C. charges will get you dropped faster that Rosie O'Donnell chasing a rolling M&M.

**slick628** · 04-13-07, 04:51 PM

I don't think you have much to be worried about. Even if she bad mouth's you, they have enough common sense to take that into consideration.

**Kpdpipes** · 05-01-07, 09:29 AM

Doc, if things are amicable, keep them that way if you can, either way as long as everything is up front and open (with no imminent financial problems) you should be Good to Go. Morning, you might be in a little tighter spot if your Ex is OTJ..I'm assuming you are applying for a different agency. Once again be up-front, open, and honest about everything, but speak about HIM in as either neutral, or semi-positive light as possible, if that makes sense. One thing i've tended to notice over the last 19 years, is that if a guy is THAT much of a Jagoff, everyone pretty much knows it. If You explain things as neutrally as possible, and keep things unemotional, then HE'll be the one looking like the idiot if he tries to slam you. COnversely, if you go in and explain what a jackass he was, and go into details, if he turns around and plays the aggreived party, then he has some credibility.