Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 17 of 17

Thread: Support

  1. #1
    Crimebytes2's Avatar
    Crimebytes2 is offline Banned
    Join Date
    04-14-06
    Location
    Council Bluffs, Iowa
    Posts
    2,005
    Rep Power
    0

    Support

    Since I haven't asked a question in quite awhile, I thought it was about time I did. Actually, you can thank Illiy since she gave me the idea via the following thread:


    Several of you mentioned in your replies that you didn't or don't receive the support of your family and/or friends regarding your decision to go into law enforcement. I don't understand why this is. It shouldn't make any difference what career choice one makes, everyone needs to be supported, encouraged and cared for. Maybe this is just me, I don't know. So, I'm curious about your level of support, or lack thereof, from your relatives, spouse, friends, etc. Why don't they support you? And how have you overcome this obstacle? Or have you? If not, how do you deal with it? For those of you working your way into law enforcement, I would like to hear from you as well, permitted the Mods agree. Many thanks in advance and as always stay safe.

  2. #2
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
    Join Date
    12-29-05
    Location
    Dallas Area
    Posts
    5,528
    Rep Power
    3224950
    My wife said she'd make me wash dishes if I didn't get out and do something, so I'm getting out and doing something

    (\__/)
    (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
    (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

  3. #3
    Illiy is offline Corporal
    Join Date
    05-27-07
    Posts
    1,490
    Rep Power
    202201
    I guess I am lucky that most of my friends support me, I acutally got my mom to sit and watch the Academy with me on Saturday night.

    I am curious on another side note, are there any single parents out there doing it alone? I have an 8 year old daughter, who is awesome, but I am nervous about when the time comes that I am gone for hours on end until we both adapt to it a little... any advice?

  4. #4
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Verified LEO
    Site Moderator
    Join Date
    12-04-05
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    9,047
    Rep Power
    6232607
    I had plenty of support from my family.


    I think my mom hates it, but fakes the support.

    My girlfriend is the same way. She's supportive, and wants me to be happy, but I think she worries a lot.
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  5. #5
    Beans's Avatar
    Beans is offline Street Cop
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    02-01-06
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    3,319
    Rep Power
    5208294
    My wife hates what I do. She wants me quit.
    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Beans" on LEF.

  6. #6
    smokey703's Avatar
    smokey703 is offline I'm Bi-WINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-15-07
    Location
    225 ya heard
    Posts
    1,237
    Rep Power
    462318
    I have also had plenty of support from my family. At first they would always ask if I was sure about the career I have choosen. Then after awhile they saw that I was enjoying Law Enforcement and that I was pretty good at the job so they stopped questioning my choice. In Feb. of this year I was involved in an incident at work and my wife was not very supportive of my return to duty but after talking to her and explaining how Law Enforcement was the only trade that I have known for the past six years she supported my decision and is my biggest source of support.

    It may take awhile but your family will come around. Friends on the other hand, unless they are Law Enforcement or are just true friends, they probably won't have much dealings with you anyore.
    Wise men stand behind me, brave men stand beside me, but only fools stand against me.

    The force that propels you to prevail when you are put to a test of survival will be a mindset that refuses to accept nothing but winning.

    Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to reach out and bitch slap that motherf*cker upside the head.

  7. #7
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
    Join Date
    04-26-06
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    6,177
    Rep Power
    1401337
    Quote Originally Posted by Illiy View Post
    I am curious on another side note, are there any single parents out there doing it alone? I have an 8 year old daughter, who is awesome, but I am nervous about when the time comes that I am gone for hours on end until we both adapt to it a little... any advice?
    Don't try to do it alone.

    I'm a single mom, and though I'm not in the field, I'm pulling shifts like they do in the field.

    Have a couple back up family/friends on your child's emergency contact/pick-up list at school. If you can return the favor, and be on their list on your days off, all the better.

    I was kinda lucky. When my marriage ended, and they raised my rent, my mother retired. She needed help with her house, and some extra income, I needed reliable childcare, and lower rent. It's not always the easiest of roommate relationships, but the piece of mind for us both is priceless.
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  8. #8
    Crimebytes2's Avatar
    Crimebytes2 is offline Banned
    Join Date
    04-14-06
    Location
    Council Bluffs, Iowa
    Posts
    2,005
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Beans View Post
    My wife hates what I do. She wants me quit.
    Why does she hate what you do, Beans?

  9. #9
    Illiy is offline Corporal
    Join Date
    05-27-07
    Posts
    1,490
    Rep Power
    202201
    Quote Originally Posted by PDawg View Post
    Don't try to do it alone.

    I'm a single mom, and though I'm not in the field, I'm pulling shifts like they do in the field.

    Have a couple back up family/friends on your child's emergency contact/pick-up list at school. If you can return the favor, and be on their list on your days off, all the better.

    I was kinda lucky. When my marriage ended, and they raised my rent, my mother retired. She needed help with her house, and some extra income, I needed reliable childcare, and lower rent. It's not always the easiest of roommate relationships, but the piece of mind for us both is priceless.

    I am actually lucky too, one of my coworkers is 22 and she and I discussed her helping me get my daughter to and from school. She wants to move out of her parents house but can't afford it, and I live very close to her college, so it is a win win. I know that my mom will come around, but if she doesn't I know that my dad will also be very supportive too.

  10. #10
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
    Join Date
    12-29-05
    Location
    Dallas Area
    Posts
    5,528
    Rep Power
    3224950
    Another way I've found to gain my wife's support is to buy plenty of life & disability insurance to make me worth more dead or crippled than alive.

    Just kidding - She supports me because she knows if I don't do what I want to do, I'm miserable to live with and I just sit at home eating and watching TV, which is the worst thing in the world for me health wise - M&M's & Snicker bars are as deadly for me as any gun or traffic accident I'll ever face.

    The one thing that worries her is that she knows that I want to be a cop more than I care about any of my paid work - I wish I could be out from behind that desk and in the "real world" so bad, I can taste it.

    That's why I'm not all that upset that I'm currently laid off. It sucks in a VERY bad way that I'm gonna have to go back to a shitty job with shitty bosses in the business sector rat-race just for the money. It's like being in prision as far as I'm concerned. I hate being trapped in it with no way out because computer programming is the only thing I can do to pay the bills - I've locked myself into something that I can't get out of.

    It would really help a lot if I could find a programming job that has something to with law enforcement, but as of yet I haven't found anything like that, except for entry-level jobs that pay 1/4th as much as I need to pay the bills, or big fancy jobs requring a Master's Degree and a lot of management experience - Yuck, don't want to be a damn paper-pushing manager, either.
    Last edited by TXCharlie; 06-05-07 at 03:01 AM.

    (\__/)
    (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
    (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

  11. #11
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Verified LEO
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    02-02-07
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    14,657
    Rep Power
    6822865
    My step father told me if I became a cop he'd kick my ass until my nose bled. I did it anyway. It was a hard nose bleed.
    I believe the reasons are this. Most civilians believe they are entitled to certain behaviors however illegal they may be. Detering those behaviors makes us unpopular. The second is this job can be dangerous. Family members don't want that to happen to the person desiring to do this job. It's probably more complicated than that but thats the simple way of putting it. Unpopular and dangerous.
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  12. #12
    AlDeputy's Avatar
    AlDeputy is offline Master Officer
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    10-19-06
    Location
    Pembroke, GA
    Posts
    341
    Rep Power
    12160
    I am lucky my wife is a former cop and she supports me 100%, I got out of law enforcment after retiring from the Army as a Military Policeman and tried other things for about 10 years, but I was never happy and I finally decided that money wasn't everything and went to our sheriff and was hired within a week, I am enjoying life again and my wife has even told me she has seen a big difference in my outlook on life. Going through another academy at 45 wasn't the most fun I've ever had, but I was the Academic honor grad.
    But you're a deputy, you can't give me a ticket!

    Yea Ok, sign here and press hard there are 4 copies!

  13. #13
    Beans's Avatar
    Beans is offline Street Cop
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    02-01-06
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    3,319
    Rep Power
    5208294
    Quote Originally Posted by Crimebytes2 View Post
    Why does she hate what you do, Beans?
    The worry, the bad pay, the crappy schedule, never home on holdidays, Birthdays etc.
    I could go on and on, but I won't in a public forum.
    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Beans" on LEF.

  14. #14
    CHARTOTO's Avatar
    CHARTOTO is offline Officer First Class
    Join Date
    06-02-07
    Location
    Ramona, OK
    Posts
    78
    Rep Power
    14399
    Quote Originally Posted by smokey703 View Post
    I have also had plenty of support from my family. At first they would always ask if I was sure about the career I have choosen. Then after awhile they saw that I was enjoying Law Enforcement and that I was pretty good at the job so they stopped questioning my choice. In Feb. of this year I was involved in an incident at work and my wife was not very supportive of my return to duty but after talking to her and explaining how Law Enforcement was the only trade that I have known for the past six years she supported my decision and is my biggest source of support.

    It may take awhile but your family will come around. Friends on the other hand, unless they are Law Enforcement or are just true friends, they probably won't have much dealings with you anyore.
    family supports me in this the starting of the application process, friends.. well heck don't have any... don't have any to lose....

  15. #15
    slick628's Avatar
    slick628 is offline Rollin' Deep
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    01-19-07
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    528
    Rep Power
    146514
    Most of my family supports me. They were all hesistant at first only because they worry. But now that I've been on for a while, thier nerves have settled. My fiance is a great support for me, but as to be expected she worries.

    The only person who doesn't support me is my grandmother...she is always encouraging me to find a new job.
    "That's how we roll"

  16. #16
    BEK's Avatar
    BEK
    BEK is offline Lieutenant
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    01-02-06
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    2,101
    Rep Power
    3397443
    I guess i was spose to go into psychology like my father and fathers father and uncle but I hate talking to crazy people....oh crap I already do that...oh well the pays not the best but at least i dont have to write long ass reports...dam I do that to...ummm shit I shoulda went into psychology. Well my dad told me that 80% of people who go into psychology do it to find out whats wrong with them and I guess I just dont want to find out. over all I had support from my family to go into LE so it wasnt a huge deal.


  17. #17
    Crimebytes2's Avatar
    Crimebytes2 is offline Banned
    Join Date
    04-14-06
    Location
    Council Bluffs, Iowa
    Posts
    2,005
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by BEK View Post
    I guess i was spose to go into psychology like my father and fathers father and uncle
    Me thinks you just wanted to be different.

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Child support agency forms or ''Who's yo Daddy"
    By gozling in forum General Topics
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 06-28-07, 07:27 AM
  2. 70% - Support Affirmative Action Programs
    By BEB in forum In the News
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 05-26-07, 01:10 PM
  3. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-29-07, 11:36 PM
  4. Grandma Ran Drugs To Support Bingo Habit
    By Michelle in forum In the News
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12-02-06, 05:15 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •