Support

**Crimebytes2** · 06-04-07, 05:08 PM

Since I haven't asked a question in quite awhile, I thought it was about time I did. Actually, you can thank Illiy since she gave me the idea via the following thread:

http://www.lawenforcementforums.com/...ad.php?t=16426

Several of you mentioned in your replies that you didn't or don't receive the support of your family and/or friends regarding your decision to go into law enforcement. I don't understand why this is. It shouldn't make any difference what career choice one makes, everyone needs to be supported, encouraged and cared for. Maybe this is just me, I don't know. So, I'm curious about your level of support, or lack thereof, from your relatives, spouse, friends, etc. Why don't they support you? And how have you overcome this obstacle? Or have you? If not, how do you deal with it? For those of you working your way into law enforcement, I would like to hear from you as well, permitted the Mods agree.

Many thanks in advance and as always stay safe.

**TXCharlie** · 06-04-07, 05:27 PM

My wife said she'd make me wash dishes if I didn't get out and do something, so I'm getting out and doing something

**Illiy** · 06-04-07, 05:51 PM

I guess I am lucky that most of my friends support me, I acutally got my mom to sit and watch the Academy with me on Saturday night.

I am curious on another side note, are there any single parents out there doing it alone? I have an 8 year old daughter, who is awesome, but I am nervous about when the time comes that I am gone for hours on end until we both adapt to it a little... any advice?

**jmur5074** · 06-04-07, 06:31 PM

I had plenty of support from my family.

I think my mom hates it, but fakes the support.

My girlfriend is the same way. She's supportive, and wants me to be happy, but I think she worries a lot.

**Beans** · 06-04-07, 07:07 PM

My wife hates what I do. She wants me quit.

**smokey703** · 06-04-07, 07:16 PM

I have also had plenty of support from my family. At first they would always ask if I was sure about the career I have choosen. Then after awhile they saw that I was enjoying Law Enforcement and that I was pretty good at the job so they stopped questioning my choice. In Feb. of this year I was involved in an incident at work and my wife was not very supportive of my return to duty but after talking to her and explaining how Law Enforcement was the only trade that I have known for the past six years she supported my decision and is my biggest source of support.

It may take awhile but your family will come around. Friends on the other hand, unless they are Law Enforcement or are just true friends, they probably won't have much dealings with you anyore.

**Willowdared** · 06-04-07, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by Illiy

I am curious on another side note, are there any single parents out there doing it alone? I have an 8 year old daughter, who is awesome, but I am nervous about when the time comes that I am gone for hours on end until we both adapt to it a little... any advice?

Don't try to do it alone.

I'm a single mom, and though I'm not in the field, I'm pulling shifts like they do in the field.

Have a couple back up family/friends on your child's emergency contact/pick-up list at school. If you can return the favor, and be on their list on your days off, all the better.

I was kinda lucky. When my marriage ended, and they raised my rent, my mother retired. She needed help with her house, and some extra income, I needed reliable childcare, and lower rent. It's not always the easiest of roommate relationships, but the piece of mind for us both is priceless.

**Crimebytes2** · 06-04-07, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by Beans

My wife hates what I do. She wants me quit.

Why does she hate what you do, Beans?

**Illiy** · 06-04-07, 08:43 PM

Originally Posted by PDawg

Don't try to do it alone.

I'm a single mom, and though I'm not in the field, I'm pulling shifts like they do in the field.

Have a couple back up family/friends on your child's emergency contact/pick-up list at school. If you can return the favor, and be on their list on your days off, all the better.

I was kinda lucky. When my marriage ended, and they raised my rent, my mother retired. She needed help with her house, and some extra income, I needed reliable childcare, and lower rent. It's not always the easiest of roommate relationships, but the piece of mind for us both is priceless.

I am actually lucky too, one of my coworkers is 22 and she and I discussed her helping me get my daughter to and from school. She wants to move out of her parents house but can't afford it, and I live very close to her college, so it is a win win. I know that my mom will come around, but if she doesn't I know that my dad will also be very supportive too.

**TXCharlie** · 06-05-07, 02:46 AM

Another way I've found to gain my wife's support is to buy plenty of life & disability insurance to make me worth more dead or crippled than alive.

Just kidding - She supports me because she knows if I don't do what I want to do, I'm miserable to live with and I just sit at home eating and watching TV, which is the worst thing in the world for me health wise - M&M's & Snicker bars are as deadly for me as any gun or traffic accident I'll ever face.

The one thing that worries her is that she knows that I want to be a cop more than I care about any of my paid work - I wish I could be out from behind that desk and in the "real world" so bad, I can taste it.

That's why I'm not all that upset that I'm currently laid off. It sucks in a VERY bad way that I'm gonna have to go back to a shitty job with shitty bosses in the business sector rat-race just for the money. It's like being in prision as far as I'm concerned. I hate being trapped in it with no way out because computer programming is the only thing I can do to pay the bills - I've locked myself into something that I can't get out of.

It would really help a lot if I could find a programming job that has something to with law enforcement, but as of yet I haven't found anything like that, except for entry-level jobs that pay 1/4th as much as I need to pay the bills, or big fancy jobs requring a Master's Degree and a lot of management experience - Yuck, don't want to be a damn paper-pushing manager, either.

**lewisipso** · 06-05-07, 03:05 AM

My step father told me if I became a cop he'd kick my ass until my nose bled. I did it anyway. It was a hard nose bleed.
I believe the reasons are this. Most civilians believe they are entitled to certain behaviors however illegal they may be. Detering those behaviors makes us unpopular. The second is this job can be dangerous. Family members don't want that to happen to the person desiring to do this job. It's probably more complicated than that but thats the simple way of putting it. Unpopular and dangerous.

**AlDeputy** · 06-05-07, 10:33 AM

I am lucky my wife is a former cop and she supports me 100%, I got out of law enforcment after retiring from the Army as a Military Policeman and tried other things for about 10 years, but I was never happy and I finally decided that money wasn't everything and went to our sheriff and was hired within a week, I am enjoying life again and my wife has even told me she has seen a big difference in my outlook on life. Going through another academy at 45 wasn't the most fun I've ever had, but I was the Academic honor grad.

**Beans** · 06-05-07, 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by Crimebytes2

Why does she hate what you do, Beans?

The worry, the bad pay, the crappy schedule, never home on holdidays, Birthdays etc.
I could go on and on, but I won't in a public forum.

**CHARTOTO** · 06-05-07, 03:25 PM

Originally Posted by smokey703

I have also had plenty of support from my family. At first they would always ask if I was sure about the career I have choosen. Then after awhile they saw that I was enjoying Law Enforcement and that I was pretty good at the job so they stopped questioning my choice. In Feb. of this year I was involved in an incident at work and my wife was not very supportive of my return to duty but after talking to her and explaining how Law Enforcement was the only trade that I have known for the past six years she supported my decision and is my biggest source of support.

It may take awhile but your family will come around. Friends on the other hand, unless they are Law Enforcement or are just true friends, they probably won't have much dealings with you anyore.

family supports me in this the starting of the application process, friends.. well heck don't have any... don't have any to lose....

**slick628** · 06-08-07, 02:08 PM

Most of my family supports me. They were all hesistant at first only because they worry. But now that I've been on for a while, thier nerves have settled. My fiance is a great support for me, but as to be expected she worries.

The only person who doesn't support me is my grandmother...she is always encouraging me to find a new job.

**BEK** · 06-08-07, 02:41 PM

I guess i was spose to go into psychology like my father and fathers father and uncle but I hate talking to crazy people....oh crap I already do that...oh well the pays not the best but at least i dont have to write long ass reports...dam I do that to...ummm shit I shoulda went into psychology. Well my dad told me that 80% of people who go into psychology do it to find out whats wrong with them and I guess I just dont want to find out. over all I had support from my family to go into LE so it wasnt a huge deal.