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  1. #1
    SupremeEye is offline Banned
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    What advice would you give to the rookies on how to balance family life with their LE career?

    One Deputy told me on a ride along that you just can't be

    "WELL IM A SHERIFF THIS IS WHAT I DO"

    He said that it is good to have those guys who are all about their jobs, yet you need your family there for when you are not on the job.

    Another told me it's like Ying and yang you have to have the balance.

  2. #2
    jato's Avatar
    jato is offline Deputy Sheriff
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    What advice would you give to the rookies on how to balance family life with their LE career?
    It would help if your question were more specific.

    Itís just like any other job, one which requires shift work. When I am off duty, I donít get involved in job related activities. I carry a firearm for defense only. Fortunately for me, our department discourages off duty incident involvement. I know some require you to become involved so YMMV.

    Live within your means. Donít get addicted to overtime. We have people on my department who must have overtime to survive financially. Consequently, since they are virtually always working, they do not have time for their families. Donít fall into that trap! Be frugal.

  3. #3
    SupremeEye is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by jato View Post
    It would help if your question were more specific.

    Itís just like any other job, one which requires shift work. When I am off duty, I donít get involved in job related activities. I carry a firearm for defense only. Fortunately for me, our department discourages off duty incident involvement. I know some require you to become involved so YMMV.

    Live within your means. Donít get addicted to overtime. We have people on my department who must have overtime to survive financially. Consequently, since they are virtually always working, they do not have time for their families. Donít fall into that trap! Be frugal.
    For those who have been in LE for a long period of time lets say a decade.

    In the beginning of your career was it difficult for your GF/Wife/ whoever to accept the hours of overtime or you perhaps missing a dinner because of paper work?

    As time went on did you see a change in her/him in terms of accepting and understanding what you must do?

  4. #4
    Pudge's Avatar
    Pudge is online now Site Admin
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    Quote Originally Posted by SupremeEye View Post
    Was there any time when you were the one chosen to do overtime and it affected a family event or outing?

    Like the Wife or whoever got mad etc?
    It happens frequently.
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    The opinions given in my posts & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Pudge" on Officerresource.com

  5. #5
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Since this question kind of appeals to me, I am not tossing it into the holding cell with the other idiotic questions this dweeb posted. I would kind of like to see some of the older LEO field the questions.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  6. #6
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    Motorwaycop is offline Retired Plod
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    Your family need to be every bit as courageous as you when you're at work.
    The demands of the job are many and they do at times put alot of stress on your relationships. If you can maintain non LEO friends, good luck to you, most of us just seem to move away from our non leo friends over time.
    It does affect your relationship with your significant other, I have been told how over the years I have changed, I didn't think so but as everyone says it I guess its true.
    As said before any shift worker has problems maintaining a family life, don't talk to me when I get up off nights for at least two hours!
    yor wife g/f etc will also have to learn that there are times when you just want to be left alone.
    It is tough being married to a cop as "the Job" can become something of a mistress.
    In a cops life there are very many missed meals and family occassions.
    I think we sometimes forget how hard it can be being married to a cop so can I take this opportunity to say to all the other halfs.........Thankyou.
    the sole advantage of power is that you can do more good.
    ( Baltasar Gracian )

  7. #7
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK
    JLK is offline Protecting Those That Can't Protect Themselves
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    family is everything


    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



  8. #8
    PapaBear's Avatar
    PapaBear is offline SgtCHP-Retired
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    Although your career as a peace officer is your job, your family should be your passion. Children are dependant upon you for 18 years and they will be gone from the nest long before you even consider retirement. Enjoy their growth, maturation and love. Once they are grown, there youth becomes a long adored blur. Tell every family member, everyday, how you love them and treat them with tenderness and adoration. The love they return is indescribable.
    Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.
    [George Washington (1732 - 1799)]


  9. #9
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    slick628 is offline Rollin' Deep
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    I think everyone here has said it pretty well. The only thing that I might add that shot me in the foot when I first started is that I used to talk about work ALL the time because it was new and exciting. It is ok to talk about work to make your family understand, but make sure you only speak about it briefly and focus back on your family and outside interests.
    "That's how we roll"

  10. #10
    KSCop is offline Officer First Class
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    Like all the others say.....remember your family. Tell them each day you love them. Give them a hug and kiss before leaving, you may not get a second chance. Most importantly...they have a life and usually a job also, listen to them talk about their day also.
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass....it's about learning to dance in the rain."

  11. #11
    sgtpelon's Avatar
    sgtpelon is offline Officer First Class
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    One of the first things you should do as a young cop is to read "On Combat" by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman. He discusses the psychology and physiology of our job and also military members. He makes some excellent points and discusses research into how we act the way we do both on duty and off duty. If that book would have been available to me when I first started out, I probably wouldn't have two divorces under my belt (ha ha, well I won't go that far!!!) If you get the chance to hear him speak, jump on it. Awesome.

  12. #12
    armsmaster270's Avatar
    armsmaster270 is offline Ret. Sac. P.D. - 270th M.P. Co., Now with D.H.S.
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    LE work is hard on the family you have to make time for the family at every opportunity. True the guys and gals you work with become a family also but you cannot neglect your real family for your work family. When you retire a lot of your buddies retire soon after that before you know it you don't know anyone at the station. Your real family will always be there. The only reason I still know officers still on is I am a past president in the Sacramento Veteran Police Officers Assn. To join you have to have 15 years on or be retired. Its a great way to keep up and stay in touch. 1 lunch meeting each month. Good food good lies swapped and I can bring my wife so she dosen't feel left out. Shot Out


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  13. #13
    Hannibal's Avatar
    Hannibal is offline Zombie Killin' Sheepdog
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    Quote Originally Posted by sgtpelon View Post
    One of the first things you should do as a young cop is to read "On Combat" by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman. He discusses the psychology and physiology of our job and also military members. He makes some excellent points and discusses research into how we act the way we do both on duty and off duty. If that book would have been available to me when I first started out, I probably wouldn't have two divorces under my belt (ha ha, well I won't go that far!!!) If you get the chance to hear him speak, jump on it. Awesome.
    +1. There are several other books that specifically deal with family relationships with LE personel. I beleive that the key is a balance between work and home life, trying not to let one interfere with the other (as much as possible).

    "Stupid should hurt."

  14. #14
    depusm12's Avatar
    depusm12 is offline Patrolman
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    Develop other outside interests besides job related stuff. I've always been a shooter since I was about 10 years old. I love going to the range an just shooting up a target with my 22. I also love hiking and camping.

    James
    Dept of the Army Civilian Police
    "Loyalty above all else, except Honor"
    Never forget those who fell on 9/11/01
    S&W beats 4 Aces every time

 

 

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