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  1. #1
    countybear's Avatar
    countybear is offline BDRT - Baby Daddy Removal Team
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    Favorite DWI/DUI/OWI admissions and explanations

    Drunks love to talk...

    What are some of your favorite roadside admissions/explanations from DWI/DUI/OWI offenders?

    I'll kick it off:

    "I've been driving like this (drunk) for 30 years, and I ain't hurt nobody yet..." (DWI 4th charged, 9th lifetime)

    "If I'd been sober, no way you'd have caught me..."

    "I'm so friggin' drunk, I'd arrest myself."

    Officer (Me): "Do you have any medical problems?"
    Offender: "No, I'm just shitfaced."

    "My lawyer told me never to take one of those tests if I'm drunk..."

    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  2. #2
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
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    I really can't remember any particularly funny ones. I have seen more than one video of people trying to do FST and saying "I couldn't do this sober!".

    I have, however, had two or three pretty much "surrender" by saying "I'm not doing any of those tests, you got me, I'm drunk." or similar statements.
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

  3. #3
    snuffy2202's Avatar
    snuffy2202 is offline JUST ANOTHER TEQUILA SUNRISE
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    I really can't remember any particularly funny ones. I have seen more than one video of people trying to do FST and saying "I couldn't do this sober!".

    I had one a month ago who said the same thing on a one-leg-stand test.

  4. #4
    Death Detective is offline I work for the victim
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    Just 4 beers

    My favorite was a guy who was obviously drunk but in a good mood. I asked how much he had to drink and he said 4 beers. After tests he was arrested for DWI. On the way to the PD he was giggling and I asked him what he was laughing about. He said you will find out anyway but I wasn't lying, I only had 4 beers......but they were quarts.

  5. #5
    moggsp98's Avatar
    moggsp98 is offline Press HARD, 5 copies
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    My very first dui years ago was involved in a sideswiping head-on crash. He had a "green leafy substance" all around his lips. (He copped to trying to eat his dope.) When I asked what happened he said a large "CACOON" ran out in front of him. I said "excuse me?" He again said a large "CACOON", you know, with the black mask and stripes around the tail. OHHHHH!, you mean a RACCOON
    Any day above ground is a fine day indeed!

    Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

    SOME DAYS YOU ARE THE PIGEON, SOME DAYS YOU ARE THE STATUE

  6. #6
    MacLean's Avatar
    MacLean is offline O/R Gun mod
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    Him - "Officer, I'm not drunk I just took my pain pills is all."


    Me - "Oh, what sort of pain pills are you taking?"

    Him - "Oxycontin, but they don't hurt my driving."

    Me - "Did you read the little label on the bottle?"

    Him, reading bottle - "Oh, the doctor didn't tell me that...."
    I'm your huckleberry...

    Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentus telum est!

    You can be the weapon, and the gun in your hand is a tool - or the gun is a weapon and you are the tool.


    I was looking for a saint who was a devil of a lover,
    but every girl I found was either one way or the other...



  7. #7
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Me-Drunk again hunh?
    Violator-I wasn't drunk last time. I'm just drunk this time.

    (ferryboat captain on his way to work)
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  8. #8
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
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    Quote Originally Posted by lewisipso View Post
    (ferryboat captain on his way to work)
    I got a bobtail once, driver was headed from Jackson Ms to Birmingham AL to pick up a load. Got him at 63 in a 40 on a city street, he went .14, if I remember right. I fired him. When I called his boss to tell him where he could get the truck, the boss said "Tell him he is fired." He told me he had only had "A few beers".
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

 

 

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