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  1. #1
    Whitewolf's Avatar
    Whitewolf is offline Hard Of Hearing Non-LEO
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    What is your most funny day/nite of the suspect or a partner?

    I like to hear the funniest story if someone has one abt the suspect and/or the partner.
    I SEE NEKKED PEOPLE! AIN'T SKEERED!!!!!

  2. #2
    Garda's Avatar
    Garda is offline Policing with nothing but a smile
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    We had a guy in custody one day for about 2 hours. He was freaking out because he missed his buddies and complaining that it "took so long" that when he is being charged by the Sergeant he keeps stopping everything and reminding us that "He's (Sergeant) the boss of you and when he says jump you say how high" and occasionaly stating "Im going home but you scumbags are staying, ha ha ha". On his way out the door he gives the Sergeant a big smile and says "Cheerio now enjoy your night in this shithole".

    20 seconds later he is arrested at the front door because theres an arrest warrant for him (must be freed and rearrested) and brought back in. On arrival the Sergeant explaims "Welcome back. Im finished at 10pm but you enjoy your overnight stay in this shithole". He then had to spend 15 minutes getting booked back in while we reminded him "were the police, when we say jump you...."
    Quote Originally Posted by TXCharlie
    Hey thanks Garda - I did think of you last night as I was lying in bed

  3. #3
    Lazy Fed's Avatar
    Lazy Fed is offline Curmudgeon
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    Well the other morning a copy repair man came to fix our copy machine. So as he is bent over fixing it, there hangs a piece of ass tissue hanging out of his underwear!!!!!! So the day shift grabs the polaroid camera and proceeds to snap a pic of this dork with his ass tissue!!! This picture is now hanging on our wall of fame!!!
    dulce et decorum est pro patria mori


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    Life is to short not to experience Lazy Fed
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    O RLY?? YA RLY NO WAI!!!!

    The incoherent statements given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency or any other person for that matter. They are MY PERSONAL DELUSIONAL FANTASIES and I accept sole responsibility as such as I am either drunk or stressed out of my mind.

  4. #4
    chris2001's Avatar
    chris2001 is offline Captain
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    Quote Originally Posted by fscf3801
    Well the other morning a copy repair man came to fix our copy machine. So as he is bent over fixing it, there hangs a piece of ass tissue hanging out of his underwear!!!!!! So the day shift grabs the polaroid camera and proceeds to snap a pic of this dork with his ass tissue!!! This picture is now hanging on our wall of fame!!!

    Damn Feds no wonder it takes them SOB's so long to get to the rest of us you humilate them so badly . Hell yes they deserve it for shit like this .
    Being the best is not what always counts. What counts is always trying your best.

    Remember who you are, and where you came from. That way you never get a big head.


    May those that lost their lives in 9-11 RIP, for the things you did not many could do. You left so many behind so that you could save so few. For now we stand strong as one, and will not look back till the fight is done. (me)

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    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS only.

  5. #5
    cntryboy0531 is offline THE five-oh
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    I don't have much, but I do have one story...

    Wed. afternoon I handled a dead body call. The odor was strong to say the least (I smelled it from coming the RV he was dead in, from down the road, in my car). Well, little did I know that the smell got imbedded in my car's A/C system that day.

    Fast foward to Thursday. I was transporting a homeless drunk we found passed out on the side of a conveniance store to the hospital. We put him in the back, and turn on the A/C. Well, just so happens we get our first whiff of the dead guy fromt he day before, at that moment. The drunk guy went to smelling the air, and hollered out "what the FUCK???" His face was priceless.

  6. #6
    Whitewolf's Avatar
    Whitewolf is offline Hard Of Hearing Non-LEO
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    Mmm..those are great stories! I kept on laughing. Anyone? I'm sure you might read Sgt. Underwood's stories. It happened in the city where I live.

    His first story in 6th paragraph: http://www.funnysnaps.com/ipolicestory.html

    His second story in 5th paragraph: http://www.funnysnaps.com/iexcuse.html
    I SEE NEKKED PEOPLE! AIN'T SKEERED!!!!!

  7. #7
    BEK's Avatar
    BEK
    BEK is offline Lieutenant
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    I saw this kid pukeing on the sidewalk, I stopped to make sure he was ok, he was drunk off his ass. When I was talking to him he was trying to hold up the wall and the wall must have pushed him cause he fell. I asked for his ID and he handed me his watch, he told me it had his name on it. He then tried to run away from me, I tugged on his shirt and he fell flat...it was odd, he didnt even put his hands out to break his fall, he just did a face plant onto the concrete. I called the ambulance cause of the gash on his chin and cuffed him up. He had no clue why he was in cuffs or why he was bleeding. BAC .383 7 stitches in his chin....I thought it was funny


  8. #8
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
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    On my 1st or 2nd ride-along with an officer one night, we got a call from a citizen following a drunk driver. By the time we caught up to them, the drunk had parked in front of a fast-food resturant, right next to the front doors.

    As we pulled into the parking lot, he was standing up next to his car, wobbling around but we couldn't see anything but his head.

    As we swung around for a better angle, we were making jokes about what the quy was doing, and guess what - The first quip out of the cops' mouth was correct (yep: The guy was peeing on the driver's door in front of all the customers).

    He didn't even realize we were there until the spotlight lit him up, at which time he swung around toward us, still peeing. The officer asked him to zip up his pants, and noticed a beer bottle in the grass, but of course that wasn't his. The cop asked him why he had to pee so bad if that wasn't his beer bottle, and the guy pointed to a Big Gulp cup in the car - Only trouble with that alibi was that the soft drink residue was bone-dry.

    Then his wife came out of the resturant, looking real embarassed, with the manager in tow - She worked there! The manager was pretty cool about it and just wanted the pee cleaned up, but the wife was starting to come unglued after the shock wore off - especially when the officer told her that he'd have to tow the car because she only had a Mexican DL - She lit into the drunk guy because he'd just cost them more money than she made at the resturant in six months (wasn't his first DUI).

    Finally, the cop calmed her down because it was only a "drunk in public" ticket since he didn't actually see the guy driving, and she got some relatives on a cell phone and they came to drive the car out of there.

    As they drove off with the relatives, she started screaming at him again, this time all in Mexican... We could still hear her even after they were out of sight down the road.

    His night woulda been MUCH more peaciful in jail.
    Last edited by TXCharlie; 02-27-06 at 12:28 PM.

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  9. #9
    Cheech Guest
    I was on a ride along one time and we drove down a street called eastern ( a big street in vegas.) And I pointed out a guy in some desert part who I thought was dead. Well he was tore up. The officer goes to talk to him and ask for Id. He grabs his wallet and pulls out a Smiths fresh values card. I couldnt stop from laughing. Then he gets up and says Your mexican Like me!!! Im probably your uncle or something!! Now IM laughing more. he is soooo lit up he fell everytime he got up. So the officer just said fawk it and just leave him. We get in the car and the dood pulls out some binoculars with a camera on it and starts taking pictures of us. I was kinda freaked. Then he started screaming at the top of his lungs it was fuckin hilarious cause he shit himself all over , it went up his back. I thought that was hilarious.

  10. #10
    Welpe's Avatar
    Welpe is offline Wannabe NFL Ref
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    LVOG, that reminds me of a guy who gave me 5 or 6 things when I asked him for his ID. I think it was a Blockbuster membership card, a Ralph's card, his credit card and a few other things. He was a little blitzed....
    "To the German commander: 'Nuts!' The American Commander" - General Tony McAuliffe, 101st Airborne Division

  11. #11
    Cheech Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Welpe
    LVOG, that reminds me of a guy who gave me 5 or 6 things when I asked him for his ID. I think it was a Blockbuster membership card, a Ralph's card, his credit card and a few other things. He was a little blitzed....
    Shoulda grabbed the credit card and said thanks!! Your clear!

  12. #12
    Terminator's Avatar
    Terminator is offline BANNED
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    Umm, I moved my Lieutenant's patrol car a couple of blocks away the other night while he was in a bar hitting on chicks....then I pepper sprayed the grill for good measure.

  13. #13
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
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    That's pretty funny Term... Did he ever find out who did that?

    Of course it woulda been much funnier to leave the car keys in the door to see how long it'd take someone to steal it, but that would be wrong
    .

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  14. #14
    Kimble's Avatar
    Kimble is offline Fact: sharks love cheeseburgers
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    Quote Originally Posted by Whitewolf
    I like to hear the funniest story if someone has one abt the suspect and/or the partner.
    My partner (who recently took an unexpected leave of absence) used to treat us both to dinner at Waffle House (he was a romantic ), order anything and everything that would give him gas, and then lock the windows in our cruiser. I would be sitting in the passenger seat suffering from the noxious fumes he had released from his bowels. I didn't find it too funny at the time, but now that he's gone... oh who am I kidding, I don't miss him or his farts ( ).
    "I'm the only one in this room, that I know of, professional enough carry this Glock 40." -Lee Paige, DEA (just before shooting himself in the leg)

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  15. #15
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    Unhappy

    I OC'd a guy one night at about 2 in the morning. I was hauling him off to a fun filled weekend in the County Jail and had to stop for a passing train. It was late, and I was tired, so without thinking, I took my glasses off and rubbed my eye. Yup, I rubbed some OC residual right into it. I showed up at the jail looking like Quasimodo with one eye all puffed out and closed!
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

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  16. #16
    Terminator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TXCharlie
    That's pretty funny Term... Did he ever find out who did that?

    Yes...

  17. #17
    Ken K is offline Banned
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    Running radar one night, had a reserve with me. Along comes a guy walking up to us and he doesn't notice a retaining wall and the fact he is above us.

    Walks right off the yard and falls about 3' onto the driveway. We just broke up, didn't even get out of the car to render help. Laughed our butts off.

    He gets up, brushes himself off and comes over to the car laughing too. Turns out he was a Pittsburgh, PA officer in town for the start of the hunting season.

    Then we felt like crap for not helping him. He took it well.

  18. #18
    Cris1102 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator
    Umm, I moved my Lieutenant's patrol car a couple of blocks away the other night while he was in a bar hitting on chicks....then I pepper sprayed the grill for good measure.
    Retard!!!

  19. #19
    B8mn1 is offline Junior Member
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    Okay, Last Friday night I stop a Mercedes S600 pulling into a motel lot. The driver is not the owner (very common where I work) and he has a suspended license. I talk to him outside the car and he is unable to tell me the name of his female passenger, 'cause he just met her at the strip club.
    My partner arrives and questions the female about possible prostitution. She gets attitude telling us how "she doesn't do that." While he is still talking to the female, I get consent for the car and toss it. I locate marijuana and hash in the trunk. Which they both deny knowledge of, since the car wasn't his.

    I question her hard, and beleive she doesn't know about the drugs..... but she is stuck on the prosetution thing and insists she's not that kind of girl who would come to a motel and have "sex" with a guy she just met.. they were only going to talk.... she's Hispanic..

    Then she tells me that one of her "baby's daddys" is in jail and that he is Armenian (like the male suspect).. so she really came to the motel at 2 am with some guy she doesn't know so she ..... "can learn more about the Armenian culture."...

    I laughed my ass off...... but she walked home, he went to jail...

  20. #20
    Cheech Guest
    I have a buddy down in CA thats a officer , He told me one time that a rookie who just passed FTO got her car "Stolen" . They tell her to meet somewhere so they can buy her lunch for gettin out of FTO. She goes there, and the SGT gets in the car and leaves. The SGT also put broken glass where her car was. So here she comes out, first day by her self and her car is stolen. She calls it in ( the whole dept is in on it ). By this time she is freaking out! So 10 minutes later comes a officer over the air saying hes found the car and its occupied. They rush over there and find out another sgt in the car and everyone is busting up laughing! I thought that was pretty funny to share!

 

 
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