Dumbest Thing Someone has Said to You

[DeputyDuc]

...Guy is in his fifties so how he has only been driving for 20 years is a mystery.

In places like NYC where cars aren't necessary I've known a few folks >30yoa born in Manhattan who've never been behind the wheel of a car! Hard to believe.

[Union5]

I have two that always make me laugh.

# 1 My partner and I were conducting a safety checkpoint and I see a car approaching. I walk to the drivers side door and immediately smell it.....weed. I look over into the passenger seat as the driver is passing the blount to his "pat-nah".

ME: "Pass that this way homie."
HIM: "Oh shit, you wanna hit?"
ME: "Absolutely, I would love some."
HIM: (as he hands the lit blount to me) "You gonna pass it back.....right?"

I was still laughing as the three of us were pulling into the sally port at the jail.

#2 I see a vehicle leave one of our known dope houses and then shoulder the driver for driving all over the road . I get to the drivers side door (he was rolling 4 deep) and go through my initial contact talk with the driver who is OBVIOUSLY soused.

ME: Where you heading tonight?
HIM: Home
ME: Where is home?
HIM: *points down the road*
ME: You have anything in the vehicle I need to be aware of?
Him: Not that I know about.
ME: Where are you guys coming from?
FEMALE FRONT SEAT PASSENGER: I can't lie to you officer! We are coming from (insert dope dealing scum bag's name here) house. We went there to get a dubb.

Again, I was still laughing when we pulled into the sally port at the jail.

[DeputyDuc]

Pulled a guy for speed display/2x limit the other night. Says in defense, "I didn't know there were cops on bikes out here." And that somehow exonerates him from like an arse?!

[berserk]

FEMALE FRONT SEAT PASSENGER: I can't lie to you officer! We are coming from (insert dope dealing scum bag's name here) house. We went there to get a dubb.

Don't ride with a mad woman.

[121Traffic]

He got weed! He got weed!

[Cidp24]

I've had a couple people blame their speed on "new tires," which makes no sense.

Thats fairly logical down here, where tires on pickups can be as big as the tires on a front-end loader.

[spcwes]

Just today while talking to a Super at a highschool I had a janitor ask me to pull my weapon out of my holster and let him see it while there were about 20 students in the hallway standing right there........

I told him no we don't allow people to handle our weapons on duty, and further asking me to draw it in a highschool with kids around was really a bad thing to do. He says well I been looking to get me a good handgun, just wanted to see what the cops carried. The Super standing right next to us had this mouth gapping look on his face the entire time like he had been slapped. I just laughed.

[Napalm]

This happened to me yesteday......

Working in a small town, I was running stationary radar on a state highway that runs through town. The place I sit is on the backside of a hill, north of a turnpike where the speedlimit on the turnpike is 75mph. the speed limit where I sit coming out of town is 40 mph, I call it my "fishing hole". After sitting stationary for a few minutes, my first speeder comes over the hill, and I lock him in at 56mph. I get him pulled over about 300 yards down the road, and make contact with the driver.

Driver: "Sorry for speeding, I'm running late for court."
Me : Well, speeding like that in this town will definitely get you another court date. What are you going to court for?"
Driver: " I'm the judge!"
Me : " I wonder how many people will be in your courtroom today for speeding tickets.......Have a nice day, slow it down."