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  1. #1
    Five-0's Avatar
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    Question Dumbest Thing Someone has Said to You

    I was reading over a thread on a car message board I frequent, and it is talking about the dumbest thing users there have said to a cop. Usually during traffic contacts and the like. Take a look at what I'm talking about:
    Dumbest thing you've said to a cop... - LS1TECH

    Having seen this, what are some of the dumbest things people have said to you on the job?

    Meanwhile, fishing in Russia:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkzV5AIK8iM
    "When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that justifies it." -- Frederic Bastiat

    "Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." Ernest Hemingway

    The opinions given in my signatures & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Five-0" on Officerresource.com

  2. #2
    cajunguy's Avatar
    cajunguy is online now I LOVE my ParaOrd .45ACP!
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    Not to me, personally, but I heard there was this young, plainclothes cop on a truck stop parking lot who was told, "She ain't no ho. She's ma girlfriend!"

    (Least that's the way I heard it.)



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    The Swamp Mafia -
    "Heaven doesn't want us,
    and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!"
    .

  3. #3
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    I was searching a guy and found a bag of dope taped to his scrotum. He said, "It aint mine! I been set up.Some one put that there." I expressed my disbelief of his statement by telling him that I could name every person who ever taped something to my scrotum!
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  4. #4
    ChesCopPodz's Avatar
    ChesCopPodz is offline Wandering son
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    After finding crack in a front pants pocket "That ain't my pocket." "These are your pants right?" "Yeah, but that ain't my pocket, THAT one's MY pocket"
    The world would be much cleaner if blind people carried brooms instead of sticks.

    At communion, when the priest says "Body of Christ", I say "Thanks, I've been working out", then I grab the cracker and run back to my seat

    An amateur practices until he gets it right. A professional practices until he cant get it wrong.

    They've got us surrounded? Good. Now we can fire in any direction. Those bastards won't get away this time.

  5. #5
    Ace's Avatar
    Ace
    Ace is offline haud pacis pro scelestus
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    After finding a rather large bag of weed on a guy, he told me that it was legal as long as it was not in an open container.
    RIP Sarah Noll~11-8-87 to 4-17-08

  6. #6
    pac201's Avatar
    pac201 is offline Used up and retired
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    "I got a rock in my shoe"...

    and he did, and 8 ball of crack cocaine...
    Job security...

    Ecclesiastes 8:11 Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.

  7. #7
    Xiphos's Avatar
    Xiphos is online now I Void Warranties
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    I was on the first floor of court with some other officers and a few lawyers standing around. A woman with a traffic ticket came up to me. She was trying to find her way to the second floor where traffic court is but that's not what she asked.

    "Where's the second floor?"

    I pointed at the ceiling and said, "Up there."

    "Ok, how do I get there?"

    I pointed at the stairs, "The stairs."

    She walked off and we all started roaring with laughter. One of the defense attorneys who was laughing said, "Man, no wonder people thinks you guys are dicks!"
    Pleasing nobody, one person at a time.

    That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.

    If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.

    I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones

    Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman

  8. #8
    Jks9199 is offline The Reason People Hate Cops & Causer of War
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    I used to know a guy who pulled someone over one day... (He may even be a member here.) The proceeds to say "Do you know Officer So & So? 'Cause he's my buddy, and he ain't gonna like you giving me a ticket." The officer said "I sure do; he's a jerk!"

    Might have helped had the moron read the nameplate... and not dropped the officer's own name!
    Voting against incumbents until we get a Congress that does its job.

    TASER: almost as good as alcohol for teaching white boys to dance

    "Don't suffer from PTSD -- Go out and cause it!"
    -- Col. David Grossman, US Army, ret.

    All opinions expressed are my own and are not official statements of my employer.

  9. #9
    Five-0's Avatar
    Five-0 is offline Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jks9199 View Post
    I used to know a guy who pulled someone over one day... (He may even be a member here.) The proceeds to say "Do you know Officer So & So? 'Cause he's my buddy, and he ain't gonna like you giving me a ticket." The officer said "I sure do; he's a jerk!"

    Might have helped had the moron read the nameplate... and not dropped the officer's own name!

    I play a game like that with people that claim to "know" the Sheriff. I tell them that people that really "know" him call him such and such. I have told the Sheriff of this and he always comments when someone comes and calls him by that name. That way he knows ahead of time someone is about to lay some bullshit story on him.

    Meanwhile, fishing in Russia:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkzV5AIK8iM
    "When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that justifies it." -- Frederic Bastiat

    "Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." Ernest Hemingway

    The opinions given in my signatures & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Five-0" on Officerresource.com

  10. #10
    MacLean's Avatar
    MacLean is offline O/R Gun mod
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    "You ain't coming into my house without a warrant!"

    "Sir, someone in that house called 911 and said help, so unless you sound like a woman I am going in there to find out who it was and what they want with the police."

    "Oh, so you're going to pull the patriot act on me, huh?"

    (With straight face) "Yessir, I'm pulling the patriot act."

    "Bastards, go ahead then."

    My partner at the time who is now our traffic officer was trying his best not to pee his pants laughing.
    I'm your huckleberry...

    Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentus telum est!

    You can be the weapon, and the gun in your hand is a tool - or the gun is a weapon and you are the tool.


    I was looking for a saint who was a devil of a lover,
    but every girl I found was either one way or the other...



  11. #11
    Five-0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maclean View Post
    "You ain't coming into my house without a warrant!"

    "Sir, someone in that house called 911 and said help, so unless you sound like a woman I am going in there to find out who it was and what they want with the police."

    "Oh, so you're going to pull the patriot act on me, huh?"

    (With straight face) "Yessir, I'm pulling the patriot act."

    "Bastards, go ahead then."

    My partner at the time who is now our traffic officer was trying his best not to pee his pants laughing.

    If I was your partner I would have informed the guy that this was the recently legislated Roscoe P Coltrane Act.


    Meanwhile, fishing in Russia:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkzV5AIK8iM
    "When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that justifies it." -- Frederic Bastiat

    "Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." Ernest Hemingway

    The opinions given in my signatures & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Five-0" on Officerresource.com

  12. #12
    MacLean's Avatar
    MacLean is offline O/R Gun mod
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    Quote Originally Posted by Five-0 View Post
    If I was your partner I would have informed the guy that this was the recently legislated Roscoe P Coltrane Act.

    It is a rare day indeed when you get to work with someone who can carry on the skit with you without having to plan it.
    I'm your huckleberry...

    Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentus telum est!

    You can be the weapon, and the gun in your hand is a tool - or the gun is a weapon and you are the tool.


    I was looking for a saint who was a devil of a lover,
    but every girl I found was either one way or the other...



  13. #13
    sgtbear111's Avatar
    sgtbear111 is offline retired
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    Stopped a guy at o'dark thirty out in the middle of no-where. He had a headlamp out. He had no ID said he left wallet at work getting off late swingshift. Sober, polite, etc. He hands me the reg and insurance card with "thats me". I ask his DOB, run a D/L and get valid. So I wrote him a "correction notice" for the light and D/L not in possession. showed it to him, and when he signs it he agrees to stop by our office with his copy and show an officer the fixed head-light and his D/L.

    He signs with another name, his real name. I just opened his door "please step out" and made the arrest. The car belonged to a friend, as did the DOB. Hooked and booked: 1)False Info, 2) DWLS, 3) warrants.
    Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.-- Anonymous

    Old People, like me, may not be around to witness the destruction of our Nation. The rest of you may not survive the collapse. We all have the sworn duty to prevent it.

    The light of hope burns brighter than the fires of doom.

  14. #14
    Five-0's Avatar
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    LOL. To go along with Sgt's post.

    I stop a car that has just left one of the local dope houses. Tell the guy why I stopped him and ask for the DL insurance ect. He has neither so I ask for his information and jot it down. Go back to the car run it. Guy comes back as deceased. Call for another unit and walk back up. As my back up gets there I ask him to step out, pat him down, and cuff him. He asks why and I reply, you are the first walking, talking, breathing dead man I've contacted so I have to cuff you check your pulse. He replies, "Is that standard procedure? I'm not even dead."

    No shit Sherlock.

    Meanwhile, fishing in Russia:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkzV5AIK8iM
    "When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that justifies it." -- Frederic Bastiat

    "Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." Ernest Hemingway

    The opinions given in my signatures & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Five-0" on Officerresource.com

  15. #15
    Xiphos's Avatar
    Xiphos is online now I Void Warranties
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    Respond to vehicle vs deer crash. Deer is alive and injured, sitting in the middle of the road looking around.

    A girl has stopped and is blocking the road so another car isn't going to hit the deer. I tell her to leave.

    "You aren't going to put it out of its misery are you?"
    Pleasing nobody, one person at a time.

    That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.

    If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.

    I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones

    Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman

  16. #16
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Followed a driver who was all over the road all the way to their destination where he proceeded to pass the up the gravel drive way. No problem. He turns into the front yard, bounces through a shallow ditch, barely misses two trees and lands in the driveway. When I questioned him about it he said he had been driving through the front yard that since he was 15. "It keeps the dust down."
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  17. #17
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
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    We had a name-dropper call in, raising cane about something or other. He threatened to call Chief XXXXX because they were "good friends", even said that he had talked to the Chief in the last week or so. Not an unusual occurrence huh?

    The Police Chief to that he was referring to had been dead for about a year and a half.
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
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  18. #18
    Bob Loblaw's Avatar
    Bob Loblaw is offline Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
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    A few years ago, I ended up with the standard "Dope in the pants pocket....'Those aren't my pants, i just threw 'em on' " type of deal. I asked him where he was coming from, and he said "Tony's house!" I asked why he was pantless inside Tony's house....he just looked at me in complete silence.

    ME: "Do you understand what I asked you?"
    HIM: "Uh...kind of."
    ME: "So, if those really aren't your pants and you just threw on some random pair of pants when you left Tony's house, then why were you not wearing any pants inside Tony's house?"
    HIM: "Well...uh...I....."
    ME: "Yes?"
    HIM: "Uh...you see...uh....we....uh......."
    ME: "Yes???"
    HIM: "We were just...uh.....SHIT. You got me. These are my pants. You got me with that, man...I'd rather go to jail than you think that me and Tony is banging each other. That's nasty."
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna
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  19. #19
    MacLean's Avatar
    MacLean is offline O/R Gun mod
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xiphos View Post
    Respond to vehicle vs deer crash. Deer is alive and injured, sitting in the middle of the road looking around.

    A girl has stopped and is blocking the road so another car isn't going to hit the deer. I tell her to leave.

    "You aren't going to put it out of its misery are you?"
    I love those - around here some folks stop and ask if they can have the deer.
    I'm your huckleberry...

    Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentus telum est!

    You can be the weapon, and the gun in your hand is a tool - or the gun is a weapon and you are the tool.


    I was looking for a saint who was a devil of a lover,
    but every girl I found was either one way or the other...



  20. #20
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    We had a name-dropper call in, raising cane about something or other. He threatened to call Chief XXXXX because they were "good friends", even said that he had talked to the Chief in the last week or so. Not an unusual occurrence huh?

    The Police Chief to that he was referring to had been dead for about a year and a half.
    That happens here with those who wish to be in the click.
    Them "Hey how's Sheriff Freddie?" "He's a good friend of mine."
    Me "Dead."
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


 

 
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