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  1. #1
    Traffic Goddess's Avatar
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    Female LEOs...do you get this?

    First, a disclaimer...I have absolutely no problem with how anyone chooses to live their personal lives as long as it is between two consenting adults and is (mostly ) legal...

    But:
    I have lost count of the times that my sexuality was questioned just because I was a LEO. I'm only bringing this up because another forum I am on (and is 99.9% civilian) I do not hide my identity and I have had contact with some of the people while on the job...and not always in a way that they were happy to see me, if ya get my drift....just today, I was reminded of this because some moron posted something to me that insinuates...well, no, outright claims that I am a lesbian. My reply was that the jabs at my sexuality are about as tired as "donut comments" and they need to try harder.

    So, female LEOs (or you guys that work with them and have witnessed this), how did/do you handle this?

    And, I'm hypothesizing that for some reason, it seems easier to handle this as a female than it would if it were a man questioning a male officer's sexuality...probably because it is seen as stronger "fighting language"? Agree/Disagree?

    Just a random thought....
    TG
    Remembering Officer Richard Phelps, Lemoyne (PA) PD, EOW- 7/11/89

  2. #2
    Sam's Avatar
    Sam
    Sam is offline I do not like green eggs and ham.
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    You don't see many female cops and I think that there are a large percentage that may be gay. So this question does not surprise me. I think that it is more about how someone carries themselves rather than the job that they do. I am not saying you carry yourself like your gay but I don't know you. I do think I saw a picture of you and if that was your I think your a pretty lady and would have no idea why somone would think your were gay~~

  3. #3
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    irishmick is offline Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.
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    I got it a lot at first, but not so much anymore since I've been at the same place for a while now. It's tapered off. I do think it's because LE has been male dominated for so long that it's only natural that they look at us like we're "trying to be men" and make the leap to lesbianism. My guess is that women in construction get this just as much.
    --"D.B.A.D." --Me

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  4. #4
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    Historically, it has been a male dominated profession. I feel that some still just can't seem to get the idea of female officers that are feminine and able to do the job.

    Over the years I have worked with three females (always worked in small depts.) all three were females without a doubt, but one of them did possess a demeanor that could be mistaken for being lesbian.
    Job security...

    Ecclesiastes 8:11 Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.

  5. #5
    irishmick's Avatar
    irishmick is offline Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sam View Post
    You don't see many female cops and I think that there are a large percentage that may be gay. So this question does not surprise me. I think that it is more about how someone carries themselves rather than the job that they do. I am not saying you carry yourself like your gay but I don't know you. I do think I saw a picture of you and if that was your I think your a pretty lady and would have no idea why somone would think your were gay~~
    Why do you think that there are a large percentage that may be gay? Additionally, what are typical behaviors that would dictate that they are gay? How does a gay person carry themselves? And, can't a gay woman be pretty or is that specifically reserved for women who are straight? Not to mention, does that mean that all ugly women are gay?
    --"D.B.A.D." --Me

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    --"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." -Elbert Hubbard

  6. #6
    Sam's Avatar
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    Sam is offline I do not like green eggs and ham.
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    I don't want to turn this into something. This is one of those topics that create nothing but drama. I make one post and allay someone tries to twist each of my comments. No thank you nice try~~

  7. #7
    irishmick's Avatar
    irishmick is offline Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sam View Post
    I don't want to turn this into something. This is one of those topics that create nothing but drama. I make one post and allay someone tries to twist each of my comments. No thank you nice try~~
    I wasn't twisting your comments or trying to turn it into "something"...simply pointing out that your post could be ridiculously offensive to some people (even some people on this board). You obviously haven't been here long enough to know anything about me, but I am not the one to just start crap because I can.

    By me asking you to clarify what you mean (since your statements are all anecdotal and obscure) and you getting defensive, I have to wonder if you're having a bad day or if you're just talking out your ass. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you're having a bad day.
    --"D.B.A.D." --Me

    --Life's tough...it's tougher if you're stupid.

    --"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." -Elbert Hubbard

  8. #8
    Sam's Avatar
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    Sam is offline I do not like green eggs and ham.
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    good day our bad this is just a stupid topic. Topics like this makes people walk on eggshells when they answer. You are not going to get anyone to answer this honestly in fear of offending someone. I tell someone that they are pretty and you twist it as all gays are ugly. Save they drama for someone else. I'm not anti gay I could care less where you lay your head. This topic was started because someone wanted to create drama period ~~

  9. #9
    Traffic Goddess's Avatar
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    Sam-
    Thank you for the compliment. irishmick is right about one thing, there are some very beautiful, feminine lesbians that can make me look like a linebacker.
    But, I do think that what Sam meant is that it is sometimes easier to guess at a woman's sexuality if she is overly masculine in mannerisms, hair/make-up or lack there-of. However...there are also exceptions to every rule. I have a straight LEO friend that never wears make-up and does very little with her hair. She's been happily married to a man for many years.

    I am very sorry if I offended anyone with this post. It was not my intention. I was actually pretty interested in hearing opinions as to whether it was considered more of "fighting words" if the sexuality of a male officer was called into question by another male. Would anyone care to opine on that issue?

    PS- I'm taking a Race/Gender/Employment class at PSU and these are the sort of questions that we are asked to consider. I thought it might be helpful to get some opinions from different people.

    So, Sam and irishmick...please don't argue over my stupid post. I'm very sorry if I offended anyone.
    TG
    Remembering Officer Richard Phelps, Lemoyne (PA) PD, EOW- 7/11/89

  10. #10
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    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
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    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  11. #11
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    countybear....I think I just fell head over heels for that baby.....awwwww!
    Remembering Officer Richard Phelps, Lemoyne (PA) PD, EOW- 7/11/89

  12. #12
    berserk is offline The reason they do psych evals
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    Maybe it's fighting words for some people, but not for me and I haven't seen it used that way around here. I know a few openly gay or lesbian officers, most of them are good cops.

    I haven't seen a lot of assumptions about sexual orientation in my department, for either men or women. I have noticed that if a female officer develops any kind of friendship with a male officer, the rumors fly. I think that probably happens in other professions, too.

  13. #13
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    Do I look like a faggot to you?

    I don't know... What's a faggot look like?

    Pleasing nobody, one person at a time.

    That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.

    If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.

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  14. #14
    Jim1348 is online now Rookie
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    Female LEOs...do you get this?

    Just think of the guys that are Registered Nurses. I suspect that they occasionally have the problem that people assume they are gay because they are in a predominantly female oriented occupation.

    Traffic Goddess, I Am not sure how long you have been a cop, but unfortunately an awful lot of us end up with "thick skin" because of verbal abuse over the years. The good thing is we end up ignoring the comments. The bad thing is we seem like we are uncaring

  15. #15
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    Who cares?

    I have a job to do..whether you think I am a lesbian, fat, skinny, too kind, too stupid or not tough enough really doesnt matter...all that really matters is that I did my job to the best of my ability, went home safe to my family and helped my brothers and sisters in blue get home safe to theirs...worrying about what others think is a waste of time. People think what they want..wont ever change. All that "you" can do is manage how you react to it.
    Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr

  16. #16
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    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
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    To war and arms I fly.
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    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolven View Post
    Who cares?

    I have a job to do..whether you think I am a lesbian, fat, skinny, too kind, too stupid or not tough enough really doesnt matter...all that really matters is that I did my job to the best of my ability, went home safe to my family and helped my brothers and sisters in blue get home safe to theirs...worrying about what others think is a waste of time. People think what they want..wont ever change. All that "you" can do is manage how you react to it.
    +1 We all blue anyways!!!!!!!!
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  18. #18
    Car 4's Avatar
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    I have worked for...worked with...and supervised straights, gays and lesbians for over 35 years. I don't give a poop who you sleep with as long as you have my back. You can be sure I have yours...no matter who you sleep with.

    I would appreciate you keeping the drama in your life (straight/gay/lesbian/martian) out of the workplace....but if you are blue, then you are my friend.


    Car 4
    I would like my country back. I used to believe that one man could never destroy this country. Not so sure anymore!

  19. #19
    Traffic Goddess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim1348 View Post
    Just think of the guys that are Registered Nurses. I suspect that they occasionally have the problem that people assume they are gay because they are in a predominantly female oriented occupation.

    Traffic Goddess, I Am not sure how long you have been a cop, but unfortunately an awful lot of us end up with "thick skin" because of verbal abuse over the years. The good thing is we end up ignoring the comments. The bad thing is we seem like we are uncaring
    Hi Jim-
    I see I might need to put something on my posts to make sure there aren't any misunderstandings. I am NOT currently a LEO. I was one for 12 years. I went though a hellacious gender discrimination lawsuit that was settled on the third day of trial. The complaint was only filed when actions started that added unnecessary additional danger to the job. I worked with some very good guys...and some not-so-good ones. However, I continue to be and will always be pro-LEO. I loved the job with every ounce of my being.
    I am now a full-time PSU student with the goal of becoming a prosecutor.

    I never let the "dyke, etc" comments bug me, I actually found them amusing. It took a lot to get under my skin. I have known many good gay officers. My post was just to see how widespread this kind of thing was and how it would be dealt with if it were directed at men, instead.

    I loved the clip posted from "Southland"....that rocked!

    Be safe, Jim, and remember...NOT TODAY!
    Remembering Officer Richard Phelps, Lemoyne (PA) PD, EOW- 7/11/89

  20. #20
    Traffic Goddess's Avatar
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    PS- I always thought the male nurses were smart....where else can you as a man , find yourself so outnumbered by women?
    Remembering Officer Richard Phelps, Lemoyne (PA) PD, EOW- 7/11/89

 

 
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