Advice

FishTail · 06-27-06, 03:38 AM

Let's try to stick on topic shall we? It's Ask a Cop so let's also try to stick to that.

**grapevine** · 06-27-06, 10:56 AM

That being the point I'm trying to make... The situation isn't comfortable, but I'm not going to let this guy treat my girl like he still has his warped authority over her - every time they're together, I have to be there - that's just how it is. The custody situation is there - she had to petition because the guy doesn't cooperate in the first place - even by keeping in contact. Not to mention she gave birth when she was still a minor and this guy was 27 or 28. I send you this mail because the stat. rape occurred in CA and we could still pursue charges against him for that (limitations statute).

We're getting an attorney either way - just thought I'd write you - feel free to respond.

katiemh · 06-27-06, 11:22 AM

Originally Posted by grapevine

That being the point I'm trying to make... The situation isn't comfortable, but I'm not going to let this guy treat my girl like he still has his warped authority over her - every time they're together, I have to be there - that's just how it is.

In my personal opinion, that just makes her look weak. SHE should make it clear to him that he doesn't have his "warped authority over her." She needs to be strong and stand up for herself. YOU should not be in this situation. She's a big girl, she should act like one. Let her clean up her own shit, that's the only way she'll get any sort of independence out of this. You being there only makes her look like she needs someone to take care of her.

If you want to help her, tell her to stand up for herself.

**Crimebytes2** · 06-27-06, 11:48 AM

Originally Posted by grapevine

I send you this mail because the stat. rape occurred in CA and we could still pursue charges against him for that (limitations statute).

I'm not sure if I can ask this, since I'M NOT A COP, but somehow I knew there was more to this story. So what's stopping you from pursuing charges? If a rape occured why isn't he in jail? If he was you wouldn't have these problems.

Originally Posted by grapevine

We're getting an attorney either way

Probably a good idea.

PS - forgive me, LT, if I have violated TOS... I'm just curious.

**Jks9199** · 06-27-06, 08:38 PM

Originally Posted by dlefdal

I don't want to offend anybody on here.

That being said, doesn't this guy mention fighting and martial arts a little too much to make everybody comfortable?

I must say, when somebody tells me they are an expert fighter or martial artist, that doesn't perk my attention up nearly as much as when somebody is standing in a corner, watching over things and not saying a word.

It almost looks like he is looking for a reason to start a fight. I might be reading it wrong too.

Just my .02. Please don't take offense. It's hard to read into people's thoughts when they are writing because there is no inflection in their voice. No "non-verbal" communication.

Sounds like he was a professional fighter at some point, just like a pro boxer. So, he is or was a pro athlete. Maybe he can handle the guy, maybe he can't. (MMA has rules; a real fight doesn't.) But it is something that could be brought up in determining how serious an action was, and in a civil trial. (Yeah, big liability if you decide to be Superman and grab somebody...)

I've trained in the martial arts for 20 years, and I'm a cop. You know what I did when my neighbors decided to have a fist fight in the back yard? Called the working cops. I'd have intervened more directly if someone was in immediate jeopardy of serious bodily harm; if you can articulate the danger and show that you were acting in either self defense or defense of another, things are likely to go smoother. But I'm with the others here; this guy's best choice is to get everyone out of there BEFORE anything happens. Use his training and experience to recognize the build up, stay calm, and get people apart.

**Jks9199** · 06-27-06, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by Virginian

Out of respect for Longtail, I will rephrase my comment into a question for clarification :P

Isn't it possible to get charged with kidnapping or something similar for detaining someone without proper authority or cause?

Absolutely. A private individual, acting on their own to effect a citizen's arrest when it turns out they lack the legal authority (maybe their state doesn't recognize it, or doesn't recognize it under those circumstances, for instance) can find themselves charged with things like false arrest/imprisonment or kidnapping and assault, as well as facing civil liabilities for associated torts. As a general rule, citizen's arrest is not a smart idea. Think of it as something that a prosecutor can use to cover your butt if you intervene to keep someone from being killed or raped -- not something you should be looking for opportunities to do.