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  1. #1
    BEK's Avatar
    BEK
    BEK is offline Lieutenant
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    Things to ponder

    1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

    2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

    3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

    4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

    5. Don't take life too seriously. No one gets out alive.

    6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

    7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

    9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

    10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

    11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

    12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

    13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

    14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

    15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

    16. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

    17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

    18. Procrastinate Now!

    19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

    20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

    22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

    23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

    24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

    25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

    26. Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

    27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

    28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

    29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

    Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few


  2. #2
    Just KC's Avatar
    Just KC is offline Who?......Me?
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    ROFL at #1~
    **********************
    ~Karie

    "I used to care
    but now I take a pill for that"

  3. #3
    kay88's Avatar
    kay88 is offline Sergeant
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    3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
    True that!
    12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
    There are quite a few....sadly...
    15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    Of course, who hasn't?
    18. Procrastinate Now!
    I'll do it later
    19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
    Funny, i have some friends at Bethany Lutheran College, A liberal arts college... LOL
    24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
    That's a good word of advice for materialistic people...
    26. Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
    Never thought about that before...interesting thought..
    27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
    Too bad too, but that's why I hum and sing to myself
    29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
    The story of my life

    Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few.
    And friends are always worth everything to try to keep.
    Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
    ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

  4. #4
    Just KC's Avatar
    Just KC is offline Who?......Me?
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    18. Procrastinate Now!
    I'll do it later



    ROFL Kay!!
    **********************
    ~Karie

    "I used to care
    but now I take a pill for that"

  5. #5
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    Nyquil - the "who needs acid to trip" medicine!

    I was once chased by Blue Nuns while on Nyquil - scary!
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  6. #6
    Lo523's Avatar
    Lo523 is offline Master Officer
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    They were so funny, especially #1. Copied and saved!
    Never approach a bull by the front, a horse from behind, or an idiot from any direction.

  7. #7
    zap's Avatar
    zap
    zap is offline yeahrightsurewhatever
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    28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

    *clapsandwhistlesloudly*
    Stupidity Recognition Technician

  8. #8
    Julia Guest
    . My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

    2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

    3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

    4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
    6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

    i love it! so funny

  9. #9
    OffDuty's Avatar
    OffDuty is offline The Shotgun is Family.
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    Jeebus

    11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.


    that aint NO shiit!
    There are only two kinds of real justice left: street and poetic...


    Canada, huh? Almost made it...

    *DISCLAIMER*The opinions expressed here are my own delusions. My employer administraton would at best shake their heads and sigh; or at worst severely repudiate the content of these posts, should it ever manage to appear on their radar.

 

 

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