Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Hug Your Gramma

  1. #1
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
    Join Date
    04-26-06
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    6,177
    Rep Power
    1401351

    Unhappy Hug Your Gramma

    And your Grampa too.

    I went on a ride-along yesterday, and our shift ended on a very sad note.

    Last call we got was an elderly lady choking/not breathing. We rolled code all the way (talk about nerve-wracking!) got there as FD was doing CPR and setting up to start hooking her up for major intervention.

    Turns out this was a hospice for alzheimers/dementia patients, and she had a DNR on file, so the paramedics called her. The staff was pretty useless, and there were 3 scared little old ladies sitting at the dining-room table while they worked on their friend in the living room. Another little old lady was in a wheel-chair in the same room. The deputy finally told them to get them into their rooms. Because it wasn't really "natural" we had to call out the medical examiner, which meant she had to be left on the floor.

    The deputy teased me a little, and asked if that was my first dead body, (and it wasn't) all I could say was I felt sad.

    I wanted to put a pillow under her head, and cover her with a real blanket (not a blue paper sheet) I wanted to brush her hair, and give her back some small measure of her dignity that her disease had robbed her of. I wanted to hug those other little old ladies too.

    I know it's not always possible to care for those with special needs in your own home, but choose carefully. Don't be swayed by a "homelike" setting and ignore a staff that is untrained.
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  2. #2
    Virginian's Avatar
    Virginian is offline Major
    Supporting Member Lvl 2
    Join Date
    12-28-05
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    3,647
    Rep Power
    8590746
    Thanks PDawg, that right there is a great post. My Grandmother died of Alzheimer's in a nursing home. Watching that slow progression towards the inevitable was a horrible experience I wouldn't wish on anyone.

  3. #3
    Andrewtx's Avatar
    Andrewtx is offline A little bit of soul
    Join Date
    12-31-05
    Location
    DC
    Posts
    628
    Rep Power
    5920551
    That is sad. My grandmother was suffering from Alzheimer's and died a month ago, but thankfully she was treated very well by her nursing home staff and died peacefully in her sleep. Just that is something to be thankful for.

  4. #4
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    12-05-05
    Location
    Handbasket, enroute to somewhere hot.
    Posts
    11,108
    Rep Power
    7439165
    I've been fortunate that my grandmothers didn't go through any of that, they were sharp till the day they passed on. I've seen it in others though, and it's heartbreaking to watch. It's also frustrating for the patient, knowing that you should know something or someone, but not being able to remember.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  5. #5
    Welpe's Avatar
    Welpe is offline Wannabe NFL Ref
    Join Date
    01-04-06
    Location
    Central Coast, CA
    Posts
    556
    Rep Power
    2294605
    My grandmother went Home in May and my grandfather is fighting dementia right now. I miss them both, how they were when I was little. At least I know my grandmother is basking in God's glory and without pain.
    "To the German commander: 'Nuts!' The American Commander" - General Tony McAuliffe, 101st Airborne Division

  6. #6
    depusm12's Avatar
    depusm12 is offline Patrolman
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    06-15-06
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    594
    Rep Power
    105390
    I agree completely. Both of mine are gone and both had Alzheimer's when they died. It's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I miss them both but I know in my heart they are in a better place.
    James
    Dept of the Army Civilian Police
    "Loyalty above all else, except Honor"
    Never forget those who fell on 9/11/01
    S&W beats 4 Aces every time

  7. #7
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    08-29-06
    Location
    Near Honey Island Swamp
    Posts
    1,322
    Rep Power
    491108
    Quote Originally Posted by PDawg View Post

    I wanted to put a pillow under her head, and cover her with a real blanket (not a blue paper sheet) I wanted to brush her hair, and give her back some small measure of her dignity that her disease had robbed her of. I wanted to hug those other little old ladies too.

    I know it's not always possible to care for those with special needs in your own home, but choose carefully. Don't be swayed by a "homelike" setting and ignore a staff that is untrained.
    God Bless you!!
    My Mom had a stroke recently. In a matter of 6 weeks she went from self sufficient to unable to speak and partially paralyzed.
    NOONE ever spoke better words.
    Choose wisely those that will care for your loved ones.
    Always follow up and keep a close eye on them...

  8. #8
    carolina's Avatar
    carolina is offline Master Officer
    Join Date
    09-27-06
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    482
    Rep Power
    41099
    I agree GREAT Post! My grandparent's have passed away too. My grandmother was more like my mother. She was an awesome woman. I wish I could still give her a big hug!

    I try to visit a rest home when I can, and just sit and talk with some of the folks, makes me feel good. Those that don't have family members to visit often, seem to like it too.

    I have a soft spot in my heart for the elderly. I could listen to them for hours, talking about the depression years, or how things were when they were growing up. Their comparison of then and now.

    I think what did it for me, well besides loving my own grandmother, was ... I was driving one day and it was pouring down rain, I mean like a sypocus ... there was this little old woman walking in that pouring down rain, she was walking with a walker and groceries wrapped around it, and her purse tightly clinched in the other hand.

    I was driving an astro mini van, and I turned abound and went back to where she was and asked her if I could give her a ride. She was terrified to be truthful, but it was raining so hard. I assured her no one was in the van that would hurt her. I opened the back and let her look all around and place her walker and groceries in the back.

    Bless her heart, she held on to her purse so tightly. I found out that she had no family, and was all alone. We became good friends and I tried to take her to store at least once a week, if she wanted to go. She has since passed away. But seeing her walk in the rain that day nearly broke my heart.

    Ok, I will shut up now KUDOS!! Great advise!


    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. - Leo Buscaglia

  9. #9
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
    Supporting Member Lvl 1
    Join Date
    04-29-06
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    18,093
    Rep Power
    4329092
    That's a great post, PDawg. Prior to his death eight years ago, my maternal grandfather had several strokes and Alzheimer's and while it was very hard seeing that happen to him, it was, in a way harder to see the effect on my grandmother.

    We were very lucky that the nursing home was a good one and the staff was very caring.

    Weird thing, though....I made a spur of the moment weekend trip home for what was a fairly insignificant event and of course went to visit my grandfather while I was there. I returned to NJ the next day and had barely stepped off of the plane when I received a call that he'd just died. I was so glad that I'd spent those hours with him over the weekend. Prior to that, it had been a few months since I'd been home. My grandmother said she thinks he'd been waiting to see me, lol. So now I always listen to my gut when it comes to certain things.

    I have never, ever taken my loved ones for granted.




  10. #10
    Roses's Avatar
    Roses is offline Member
    Join Date
    02-19-06
    Posts
    1,361
    Rep Power
    513352
    Quote Originally Posted by PDawg View Post
    And your Grampa too.

    I went on a ride-along yesterday, and our shift ended on a very sad note.

    Last call we got was an elderly lady choking/not breathing. We rolled code all the way (talk about nerve-wracking!) got there as FD was doing CPR and setting up to start hooking her up for major intervention.

    Turns out this was a hospice for alzheimers/dementia patients, and she had a DNR on file, so the paramedics called her. The staff was pretty useless, and there were 3 scared little old ladies sitting at the dining-room table while they worked on their friend in the living room. Another little old lady was in a wheel-chair in the same room. The deputy finally told them to get them into their rooms. Because it wasn't really "natural" we had to call out the medical examiner, which meant she had to be left on the floor.

    The deputy teased me a little, and asked if that was my first dead body, (and it wasn't) all I could say was I felt sad.

    I wanted to put a pillow under her head, and cover her with a real blanket (not a blue paper sheet) I wanted to brush her hair, and give her back some small measure of her dignity that her disease had robbed her of. I wanted to hug those other little old ladies too.

    I know it's not always possible to care for those with special needs in your own home, but choose carefully. Don't be swayed by a "homelike" setting and ignore a staff that is untrained.
    Hugs to you pdawg.

    On a sidenote.

    If your ever in a situation as above and you feel like doing something more then ask and don't be afraid to hug or speak to the other elderly folks that may have witnessed it. You don't need to say too much. Let your face and your eyes let them know you feel for them and her and that you care. Hold their hands. The other elderly women, I'm pretty sure were very concerned for their friend. They look out for each other and it hurts them too. They may have wanted to stick around so they could be there with her. Sometimes they are very close to each other. You mentioned only a few elderly women were still in the same dining area with her so the others were probably already taken back to their room. Some of them can wheel themselves back too. These ladies may have all been very close to each other. They are family to each other. By watching you go the extra mile it would have given them a warm fuzzy feeling and they would have talked with kindness about what else was done by those that came to her rescue and offered her so much comfort in her hour of need.

    It is never an easy situation even for the staff. Many employees in the nursing home become attached and love the residents. Not just the nurses and the aides. The office staff, maintenance, and housekeeping do too! I know I became very attached to some of them and it hurts. They become family.

    As a suggestion, you may want to go ahead and either talk with or write to the DON, Director of Nursing your suggestions. Nursing homes generally have care management meetings with the team. The team then can brainstorm on other ideas or implement the necessary changes or if they need to have training they can provide it. If the director of nursing doesn't appear to be interested in your suggestions let the social worker know or the MDS nurses and even the bookkeeper, admissions or the head therapist. They are part of the team and can bring it up at the meetings. If that doesn't work then the administrator needs to know.

    Any type of home for the elderly should appreciate suggestions so they can provide better care and a home like setting. They are in a competive market and if they want to remain in the black then they will take the necessary steps to providing that care.

    Please don't be offended and consider this as something to add to your things to do if and when it may happen again.
    Last edited by Roses; 12-09-06 at 11:07 AM.
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  11. #11
    OffDuty's Avatar
    OffDuty is offline The Shotgun is Family.
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    08-15-06
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    761
    Rep Power
    173519
    Very good post. Most death is undignified in many ways. Good show of compassion there...
    There are only two kinds of real justice left: street and poetic...


    Canada, huh? Almost made it...

    *DISCLAIMER*The opinions expressed here are my own delusions. My employer administraton would at best shake their heads and sigh; or at worst severely repudiate the content of these posts, should it ever manage to appear on their radar.

  12. #12
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
    Join Date
    04-26-06
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    6,177
    Rep Power
    1401351
    Roses,

    Good advice, but as I was with a deputy on a ride-along, I feel that I was in a unique situation. You can't always act on your impulse in those situations. This was not considered a "natural" death, and is under investigation. Even the most innocent gestures can be misconstrued and compromise the situation.

    I don't expect everyone here to get the "whole" situation...suffice to say, this place is about making money.
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •