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Thread: I am SOOOO Ashamed
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12-08-06, 04:00 PM #1
I am SOOOO Ashamed
I am ashamed ,I had a day off today,12/08/2006,and I went to the-----------MALL!!!-------------------------------------------------------And the worst part________________got all my Christmas shopping done!!!!!!!
I no longer feel like a man
No knowing glances from the cashier at the drug store on Christmas eve,you know the one."oh yeah ,thats going to look good sticking out your ass in the morning"" By the way sir,would you like vaseline with that?"
No more begging the drug store clerk,"Are you sure you dont have any more 1/2 gallons of your store brand perfume?"
No more "paper please,I need it for wrapping paper!"
BUT!!! Maybe---Perhaps-----With a little luck and planning
Yeah thats it. New Years Eve,A fifth of cheap whiskey,a 6 pack or 2,hopefully a buxsom blond,and maybe even a little puke on the boss' shoes.YES I can redeem myself!!!!
Stand by for further...

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12-08-06, 04:21 PM #2
LMAO! I love it when men evolve into.......
pussies.
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12-08-06, 04:36 PM #3
There there now. Don't be ashamed. Let's go the mall so I can buy you something nice.
hahahahahaha.
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12-08-06, 04:42 PM #4
Don't worry, Mav....you'll live this down.....someday.
phoenixrose~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If the sex scene doesn't make you want to do it - whatever it is they're doing - it hasn't been written right.~~~Sloan Wilson~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"WHAT canary?"
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12-08-06, 04:42 PM #5
Well, you can always 'forget' someone important (like that second cousin once removed who lives 800 miles away and you've only met once at the family reunion.. you know, the one that got drunk and kissed Uncle Bob square on the mouth. You wouldn't have remembered it except the sight of their mustaches pressed together kind of made you a bit ill) that you HAVE to get something for at 8pm on Christmas Eve.
\\` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
`` ` ` ` (3--(____)
"...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q

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12-08-06, 04:46 PM #6
Report immediately to the local gun shop, buy something expensive for yourself (spend more on you than everyone else combined). Then go straight to Home Depot or Lowes and retrieve some power tools that you may someday need.
Then go directly to the local pub, start with a shot and a beer. Repeat shot and beer until you cannot recall your name, location, or marital status.
And for God’s sake man, pull your self together. Redeem your self! WTF were you thinking?
"Stupid should hurt."
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12-08-06, 05:14 PM #7
Mav, I'm not sure, but didn't you break a Man Rule?

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12-08-06, 05:16 PM #8
Tonight's assignment - fart and fluff.
Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.
Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
or otherwise distort statements of fact.FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley
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12-08-06, 05:48 PM #9
off to the holding cell for you. How dare you do such a thing. Well maybe you are one of them "metrosexual" type of guys

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12-08-06, 06:39 PM #10
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12-08-06, 06:46 PM #11
[QUOTE=mavriktu;132047]I am ashamed ,I had a day off today,12/08/2006,and I went to the-----------MALL!!!------------------
You have got a HUGE pair of ka-honas!! I hate those places!
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12-08-06, 06:59 PM #12
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12-08-06, 07:28 PM #13
See...I do it all online. Shopping done by 1st of December. Then I can use the excuse that I forgot something to go out to the "real" stores...and drool over chainsaws and power tools.
"Sometimes people need a little help. Sometimes people need to be forgiven. And sometimes they need to go to jail."

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12-08-06, 07:50 PM #14
Mav you know what this means don't you?? Yes you must give us your Man room key and leave. And you wont be let back in till you redeem yourself 5 fold. Being drunk is no damn excuse!!!!!
Damn man, please tell me your taking some kind of a hormonal prescription or something!!!!"An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper
Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!
"Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it."
-Ronald Reagan
" I believe that forgiving them (Terrorist) is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
General Norman Schwartzkopf
Not all Muslims are Terrorists, but all Terrorists are Muslim.
(author unknown)
The statements posted by BigDawg DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, or procedures of the author's employing agency. These statements are the personal opinions of BigDawg only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the user name of BigDawg. The opinions expressed by BigDawg are protected by the 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. BigDawg’s messages are intended to invoke thought and discussion among the "Officer Resources" forum community and may not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author. BigDawg’s posts and any attachments are intended for an adult audience (18+) and may contain strong language, sexual content, nudity, violence, and may be graphic in nature. Some material may be considered offensive; reader discretion is advised. Please note that many of BigDawg’s posts are intended for entertainment value only. BigDawg’s posts are not intended to be used where prohibited by law. Furthermore, BigDawg's posts, and any attachments, may contain information covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521, and is confidential and proprietary in nature. If you are not the intended recipient, please be advised that you are legally prohibited from retaining, using, copying, distributing, or otherwise disclosing this information in any manner.
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12-08-06, 08:49 PM #15
I love purple and merci beaucoup,baby

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12-08-06, 08:53 PM #16
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12-08-06, 08:57 PM #17
I finished shopping today as well, I feel so....................gay.

"I am the guy that keeps Mister Dead in his pocket." -'Mad' Max Rockatansky
"An Englewood Ranger is no stranger to Danger.." -Unk
Good Night Chesty Where Ever You Are.
A Good Friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying, "That was Awesome."
God Made Police Men so Fireman Would Have Heroes.
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12-08-06, 09:47 PM #18
Don't worry, I plan on doing most of my christmas shopping during the after christmas sales.
\\` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
`` ` ` ` (3--(____)
"...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q

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12-08-06, 10:46 PM #19
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Where the hell is Jenna when a man needs to be whipped back into shape.
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