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Thread: For the Ladies

  1. #1
    mavriktu's Avatar
    mavriktu is offline Patrol Sgt.
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    For the Ladies

    In order to make county 14 feel better about his wifes choice of "colors" I submit the following:
    from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note... these are all numbered "1"
    ON PURPOSE!
    1. Men are NOT mind readers.
    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.
    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
    And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
    1. Crying is blackmail.
    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!
    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
    See a doctor.
    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.
    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
    We have no idea what mauve is.
    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that .
    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
    1. You have enough clothes.
    1. You have too many shoes.
    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


  2. #2
    Trojan 42's Avatar
    Trojan 42 is offline Retired Ninja
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    Amen. They are all true.
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

  3. #3
    Terminator's Avatar
    Terminator is offline BANNED
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    Hallelujah, can I get an amen!

  4. #4
    jrae Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post
    Hallelujah, can I get an amen!
    So Term, would u like that amen now or later?? haha. i agree with most of these, and have seen myself in those situations before... although some of em, are pretty interesting.

  5. #5
    Trojan 42's Avatar
    Trojan 42 is offline Retired Ninja
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    Ha Ha you're owned Termy. You'll have to ban her soon, just for some peace and quiet.
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

 

 

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