GILLIGAN and the Seven Deadly Sins

[Big Sexy]

The "Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island" theory is quite simple. Each of the seven characters on the island represents each of the seven deadly sins.

The Professor = PRIDE (you know he thought he was better than the others), Any man who can make that much crap on a deserted island probably should be concieted, but that doesn't make it okay. He never could fix that damn boat. His knowledge of Science and Technology makes him feel more important than the others. That's why he gets his own hut.
Mary Ann = ENVY (of Ginger, mainly), She tried to be as slutty as she could be, but everyone knows that Ginger was the most popular one there. She's the one who has to do most of the "Women's Work". She is definitely jealous of Ginger.
Ginger = LUST (obvious - look at her), If you watch the show very carefully, it's pretty obvious that she was going after the Professor AND Gilligan. What a whore. She gets her way by using her body. And her false… eyelashes.
Mr. Howell = GREED (obvious), What kind of person takes a trunk full of money on a three-hour cruise? Definately the most obvious sinner.
Mrs. Howell = SLOTH (she never did anything), Can anybody honestly name one damned thing she did for anyone while they were on the island. Honestly!!?? What a waste of space. She's living off of her husband's money and never really joins in the chores on the island.
Skipper = ANGER and GLUTTONY (obvious), The skipper is not only the fatest guy there, but he can't go five minutes without hitting Gilligan over the head with his hat. He deserves double sinnage if anyone does. He's obviously eating better than the others and he flies off of the handle faster than anyone else. Because he's guilty of both, he has to live with:
Gilligan = The DEVIL (ever notice that he always wears red?), Think about it. Who keeps them on the damned island for eternity? The devil. The island is named for him. Definately Satan and the ISLAND is HELL!! Who could mess up that much if he weren't the Devil? No one could do that by accident.
The Real Story

But none of them are right! Let BIG SEXY tell you why…. (You may never watch it the same way again). Here is the real reason they're never leaving the island! THERE IS NO ISLAND!

It's True! Gilligan is one of us! He's a spawn of Satan! What does BIG SEXY mean, you may be asking. It's called Gilligan's Island isn't it? Of course it is. That's because he's got the power. If the Skipper had the power, as is generally thought, it would have been called "Skipper's Island". But it's not. Because the Skipper never left the Minnow alive.

What?!!

No kidding. The Skipper died on the Minnow. So did everyone else. They're never leaving the island because the six people on the boat all drowned in the storm. The "Island" is really a little spot in hell.

But there are seven people on the Island! Wrong! There are six people. All of them guilty of seven deadly sins. Gilligan is not a person. He's the Devil. He's listening to the advice of Sun Tsu, the great Chinese Military Philosopher and using an ancient tactic to avoid suspicion-playing dumb. Gilligan is without a doubt the smartest one on the island.

No Way!

Way! He's the one in the red shirt, isn't he? On Star Trek, that would mean certain death. But on Gilligan's Island, it's the sign of the Devil. It's his job to keep them just out of reach of salvation.

[BEK]

someone has been smoking some pretty hard shit to come up with that

[Big Sexy]

someone has been smoking some pretty hard shit to come up with that

Puff, Puff, Pass, Puff, Puff, Pass.

[countybear]

I used to listen to Black Sabbath in reverse on 78 speed when I watched Gilligan's Island too... but only after I was trippin' on a bad hit. Ever notice how when Gilligan's hat was off, his hair used to stick up like horns?

All I can say is.. wow.. bitchin'...

[Gatekeeper]

Well there goes five minutes of my life I can't get back.

[Willowdared]

Mmmmmmmokay.

[Terminator]

Are you drunk?

[Buttercup]

Hmm, Gilligan did always seem to be the one to destroy any chance they had of getting off of the island......

[jmur5074]

Hmm, Gilligan did always seem to be the one to destroy any chance they had of getting off of the island......

Please don't give him any encouragement

[lewisipso]

???????!!!!!!!!!!!

[Big Sexy]

Are you drunk?

C'mon Term. Since when has BIG SEXY needed to be drunk?

[Big Sexy]

Please don't give him any encouragement

Naw, by all means, encourage him.

[Hannibal]

Wow, that's deep BIG. Wait a minute; this is more strange than I thought....

I was on the island where part of that show was filmed (the intro where they showed an actual island). Does this mean that I have been to hell and back?

Hmmmmm....

[Ducky]

Wow, that must've been some pretty laced stuff you took off the border hopper, Big! Can't believe you're not sharing...

Well there goes five minutes of my life I can't get back.

It took you 5 minutes to read that? Or did you have to re-read it because it only made baked sense to begin with?

[Buttercup]

Please don't give him any encouragement

Oops. I guess I won't mention anything about the fact that they had a never ending supply of food and they never grew facial hair....

[Jenna]

This clip shows the true nature of Gilligan's Island:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X13ri...elated&search=

[Hannibal]

I often wondered how one could make a radio out of a coconut, but couldn't fix a hole in a boat.

[Ducky]

If you were the Professor, would you fix the boat? I mean, one of those days, either Ginger or Mary Ann would crack. Personally, I think Mary Ann beat Ginger hands down. Who wants to deal with the constant upkeep of Ginger? Mary Ann may even fix breakfast the next morning.