Results 1 to 15 of 15
02-27-07, 12:14 AM #1
When The Lord Was Creating Police Officers
WHEN THE LORD WAS CREATING POLICE OFFICERS
Body: When the Lord was creating police officers, he was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You've done a lot of fiddling around on that one."And the Lord said, "Have you read the specs on this order?
A peace officer has to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scalewalls, enter homes the health inspector wouldn't touch and not wrinkle his uniform.""He has to be able to sit in an undercover car all day on a stakeout, cover a homicide that night, canvass the neighborhood for witnesses and testify in court the next day."
"He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on blackcoffee and half-eaten meals. And he has to have six pairs of hands." The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... noway." "It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes an officer has to have." "That's on the standard model?' asked the angel. The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through a bulge in a pocket before he asks May I see what's in there, sir?' when he already knows what it is and wishes he had taken an accounting job. Another pair here in the side of his head for his partner's safety. And another pair of eyes in the front that can look reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say, You'll be all right, ma'am', when he knows it isn't so."
"Lord," said the angel, touching His sleeve, "rest and work on this tomorrow." "I can't," said the Lord. "I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound drunk into a patrol car without incident and feed a family of five on a civil service paycheck."The angel circled the model of the peace officer very slowly. "Can it think?", she asked."You bet," said the Lord. "It can tell you the elements of a hundred crimes; recite Miranda warnings in its sleep; detain, investigate, search and arrest a gang member in less time than it takes five learned judges to debate the legality of the stop... and still it keeps its sense of humor.
This officer also has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with crime scenes painted in Hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family and then read in the daily newspaper how law enforcement isn't sensitive to the rights of criminal suspects."
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of thepeace officer. "There's a leak", she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model." "That's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear." "What's the tear for?", asked the angel."It's for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for justice." "You're a genius," said the angel. The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put the tear there.", He said.Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA
You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.
FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON
02-27-07, 12:28 AM #2MEDICINA BONA LOCIS MALIS
02-27-07, 01:20 AM #3
Amen to that brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
02-27-07, 01:21 AM #4
Very good post............................................
02-27-07, 07:34 AM #5
Amen!Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me
We are who we choose to be.
R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012
02-27-07, 08:15 AM #6
NJPD,,, good job on the postTo be a good Law Enforcement Officer you MUST know the law!
02-27-07, 08:48 AM #7
Although I'm not religious, that's a good storyAlpha Phi Sigma Alum - Alpha Delta Chapter
02-27-07, 08:58 AM #8
incredible post, that's about all i can say about that =)-=Twan007
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in alignment with his employer. Matter of fact, the poster will deny any knowledge of any post... this message will self-destruct in 5 seconds...
02-27-07, 09:05 AM #9
02-27-07, 11:52 AM #10
Only God Could Create A Peace Officer.
Last edited by LAW DOG; 02-27-07 at 12:50 PM.S.W.A.T Maximum Violents
02-27-07, 11:56 AM #11
Great story.Calm Like A Bomb...
“A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.”
02-27-07, 12:07 PM #12GrasshopperVerified LEO
- Join Date
- Rep Power
Seen this a few times, it always gets me though.And Shepards we shall be,
for thee, My Lord, for thee,
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls will it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.
03-04-07, 03:30 AM #13
if only the rest of the world knew what we actually went through...great post best ive seen yet
03-04-07, 04:19 AM #14
"The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
- Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America
Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
That from the nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
To war and arms I fly. - Lovelace
The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.
03-04-07, 10:19 AM #15
Seen it before, but it's still a good 'un!
Users Browsing this Thread
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
By Big Sexy in forum In the NewsReplies: 12Last Post: 07-23-07, 02:25 PM
By Resident Smart Ass in forum In the NewsReplies: 0Last Post: 06-05-07, 10:31 AM
By Autumn2009 in forum In the NewsReplies: 19Last Post: 05-18-07, 07:50 PM
By phantasm in forum In the NewsReplies: 1Last Post: 03-30-07, 01:12 AM