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03-08-07, 08:24 AM #1
FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's
your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small
medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
03-08-07, 08:31 AM #2
Isn't this a repeat of the Pun thread?To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.
I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!
It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!
03-08-07, 01:28 PM #3
03-08-07, 01:39 PM #4
I think they're funnyAlpha Phi Sigma Alum - Alpha Delta Chapter
03-08-07, 02:09 PM #5
03-08-07, 03:25 PM #6Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.
Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
or otherwise distort statements of fact.FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley
03-08-07, 03:44 PM #7jrae Guest
funny and cute
03-08-07, 06:32 PM #8
03-09-07, 07:47 AM #9
03-09-07, 11:54 PM #10
03-10-07, 01:20 AM #11
GET A ROOM....o wait, accomplished...well then...carry on.....but remember these words that my daddy said to me before he left this world...(and before my first date, driving a young girl to the movies solo)
be good, if you cant be good, be safe....and if you cant be safe, NAME IT AFTER ME500 fights, that's the number I figured when I was a kid. 500 street fights and you could consider yourself a legitimate tough guy. You need them for experience. To develop leather skin. So I got started. Of course along the way you stop thinking about being tough and all that. It stops being the point. You get past the silliness of it all. But then, after, you realize that's what you are.
03-10-07, 11:17 AM #12
03-10-07, 08:03 PM #13
I liked 'em.Calm Like A Bomb...
“A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.”
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