Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Lexophiles

  1. #1
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    08-29-06
    Location
    Near Honey Island Swamp
    Posts
    1,322
    Rep Power
    491108

    Lexophiles

    FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

    1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

    2. A will is a dead giveaway.

    3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

    4. A backward poet writes inverse.

    5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's
    your Count that votes.

    6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

    7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

    8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

    9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you
    A-flat miner.

    10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully
    recovered.

    12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in
    Linoleum Blownapart.

    13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

    14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

    15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

    16. A calendar's days are numbered.

    17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

    18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

    19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

    20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

    21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small
    medium at large.

    22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in
    the end.

    23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

    24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

    25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd
    dye.

    26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

    27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

    28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

    29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

  2. #2
    Trojan 42's Avatar
    Trojan 42 is offline Retired Ninja
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-18-06
    Location
    Twixt the Moor and the Sea, England
    Posts
    3,003
    Rep Power
    4327280
    Isn't this a repeat of the Pun thread?
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

  3. #3
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    08-29-06
    Location
    Near Honey Island Swamp
    Posts
    1,322
    Rep Power
    491108
    Quote Originally Posted by Trojan 42 View Post
    Isn't this a repeat of the Pun thread?


    I was just sharing something, I thought was funny


    I dont know if it was or not....AM i under arrest???? handcuffs too?? where do I turn myself in?

    Sorry!!!!!!

  4. #4
    KaiGywer's Avatar
    KaiGywer is offline *insert witty remark here*
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    01-02-06
    Location
    Mandan, ND
    Posts
    2,884
    Rep Power
    2744768
    I think they're funny
    Alpha Phi Sigma Alum - Alpha Delta Chapter
    ΑΦΣ

  5. #5
    kay88's Avatar
    kay88 is offline Sergeant
    Join Date
    09-28-06
    Location
    New Ulm, MN
    Posts
    1,689
    Rep Power
    60407
    Quote Originally Posted by KaiGywer View Post
    I think they're funny
    +1
    Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
    ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

  6. #6
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
    Join Date
    04-26-06
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    6,177
    Rep Power
    1401351
    Quote Originally Posted by dapples View Post
    I was just sharing something, I thought was funny


    I dont know if it was or not....AM i under arrest???? handcuffs too?? where do I turn myself in?

    Sorry!!!!!!
    You'll just have to have Mavriktu do a little strip search, and place you under "house" arrest.
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  7. #7
    jrae Guest
    funny and cute

  8. #8
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    08-29-06
    Location
    Near Honey Island Swamp
    Posts
    1,322
    Rep Power
    491108
    Quote Originally Posted by PDawg View Post
    You'll just have to have Mavriktu do a little strip search, and place you under "house" arrest.


    wooooooooOooo good idea

  9. #9
    mavriktu's Avatar
    mavriktu is offline Patrol Sgt.
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-21-06
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    2,847
    Rep Power
    5559846
    Quote Originally Posted by PDawg View Post
    You'll just have to have Mavriktu do a little strip search, and place you under "house" arrest.
    Mission accomplished

  10. #10
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    08-29-06
    Location
    Near Honey Island Swamp
    Posts
    1,322
    Rep Power
    491108
    Quote Originally Posted by mavriktu View Post
    Mission accomplished

  11. #11
    Doc_Holliday's Avatar
    Doc_Holliday is offline California Dreaming...
    Join Date
    10-29-06
    Location
    Oklahoma....for now
    Posts
    877
    Rep Power
    118712
    GET A ROOM....o wait, accomplished...well then...carry on.....but remember these words that my daddy said to me before he left this world...(and before my first date, driving a young girl to the movies solo)
    be good, if you cant be good, be safe....and if you cant be safe, NAME IT AFTER ME
    500 fights, that's the number I figured when I was a kid. 500 street fights and you could consider yourself a legitimate tough guy. You need them for experience. To develop leather skin. So I got started. Of course along the way you stop thinking about being tough and all that. It stops being the point. You get past the silliness of it all. But then, after, you realize that's what you are.


  12. #12
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    08-29-06
    Location
    Near Honey Island Swamp
    Posts
    1,322
    Rep Power
    491108
    Quote Originally Posted by Doc_Holliday View Post
    GET A ROOM....o wait, accomplished...well then...carry on.....but remember these words that my daddy said to me before he left this world...(and before my first date, driving a young girl to the movies solo)
    be good, if you cant be good, be safe....and if you cant be safe, NAME IT AFTER ME
    I promise if there is a little Mav/Dap in our future, she/he will be cute cuddly and furry ( ok ok dont go there...I know that describes Mav too) and four legged and we will name it Doc..just for you

  13. #13
    10-42Adam's Avatar
    10-42Adam is offline Major
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    09-24-06
    Location
    Delaware
    Posts
    5,928
    Rep Power
    200412
    I liked 'em.
    Calm Like A Bomb...

    A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.
    -Winston Churchill

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •