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Thread: Why Men Are Just Happier People
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03-21-07, 10:52 AM #1
Master Officer
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Why Men Are Just Happier People
Men Are Just Happier People
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Graying hair adds attraction. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier."Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History"
"All history becomes subjective; in other words there is properly no history, only biography."
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03-21-07, 11:02 AM #2
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Regardless of what he's told about how men's bodies work, though, Beans will never stop in his quest to become pregnant.
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03-21-07, 11:09 AM #3
Tempus Fugit
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The garage is all mine?? Hmmm.
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03-21-07, 11:22 AM #4
Nobody important.
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You know stuff about tanks.
I know lots and lots of stuff about tanks.
Master Gunner M60, M60A1, M60A3 & M48A5
We are the thin blue line
between you
and all the money in the world.
And no you can't have any.
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03-21-07, 12:02 PM #5
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Yea the garage is all ours......and the whole house is all hers!!!! Not a fair trade.
"An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper
Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!
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(author unknown)
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03-21-07, 12:26 PM #6
Bendy not Breaky
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03-21-07, 10:27 PM #7
Yell O
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You rode an M48??????? I knew you were old, but you must be Moses' grandfather!
Originally Posted by Piggybank Cop
You know stuff about tanks.
I know lots and lots of stuff about tanks.
Master Gunner M60, M60A1, M60A3 & M48A5
"I'm not a coward,
I've just never been tested
I'd like to think that if I was,
I would pass"
~Mighty Mighty Bosstones~
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03-21-07, 11:25 PM #8
Grasshopper
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Originally Posted by PDawg
Beg your pardon?? Do what?And Shepards we shall be,
for thee, My Lord, for thee,
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls will it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.
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