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Thread: What are you?

  1. #1
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
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    What are you?

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?



    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
    Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
    You are carrying a Glock cal40, and you are an expert shot.
    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?


    THINK CAREFULLY

    Democrat's Answer:
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway; and what kind of message does this send to society, and to my children?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing!

    I need to debate this with some friends first and try to come to a consensus.



    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!

    Southerner's Answer:
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! Click !
    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
    Son: "Can I shoot the next one? "
    Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!"

  2. #2
    k-9max's Avatar
    k-9max is offline K9 Officer
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    Dem, but the poor bastard would have fell dead!
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked, Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  3. #3
    BabyGirl is offline Rookie
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    Southerner

  4. #4
    Retmilleo909 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by k-9max View Post
    Dem, but the poor bastard would have fell dead!
    Or run off in a mad dash, leaving his wife and kids behind.

  5. #5
    mfranklin01's Avatar
    mfranklin01 is offline its not vendication...its punishment
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    you mean the southerner only had one extra mag...consider me a born and raised

    SOUTHERNER TILL I DIE
    "Be Polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet"

  6. #6
    k-9max's Avatar
    k-9max is offline K9 Officer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esteda View Post
    Or run off in a mad dash, leaving his wife and kids behind.

    LOL
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked, Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  7. #7
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
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    US Army; combat arms (Tanker).

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  8. #8
    rob84's Avatar
    rob84 is offline Did you press the power button?
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    I guess this would make me a southerner.

    www.twitter.com/RobKimble1984
    www.facebook.com/robkimble

  9. #9
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    Count me in as shoot now , do the paperwork later ....
    Cops are sworn to protect your a@@ not kiss it .

  10. #10
    foxxymomma50's Avatar
    foxxymomma50 is offline Master Officer
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    Southerner of course!! And after I run out of ammo for the Glock then I would grab my assault rifle and light into his ass with that!
    "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

    "Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious."


    "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

  11. #11
    AlDeputy's Avatar
    AlDeputy is offline Master Officer
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    Although originally form Chicago, now a Southerner

  12. #12
    mavriktu's Avatar
    mavriktu is offline Patrol Sgt.
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlDeputy View Post
    Although originally form Chicago, now a Southerner
    Dont worry,my first father-in-law (from Mass.) used to wear a hat that said "Yankee by birth-Southern by the grace of God"

  13. #13
    countybear's Avatar
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    You are carrying a Glock cal40, and you are an expert shot.
    Sorry, but no self-respecting Democrat would carry a firearm, especially not a Glock. Guns are evil. Glocks are the devil. His party affiliation with gun control is common knowledge. He would have to rely upon a naked picture of Rosie O'Donnell to scare the terrorist away.

    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  14. #14
    Retmilleo909 is offline Banned
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    He would have to rely upon a naked picture of Rosie O'Donnell to scare the terrorist away.

    He could tolerate a naked Pic of Rosie, since she's an ultra liberal pacifist. However, a picture of Greta Van Susteren would cause him to take off in panic.

  15. #15
    Jenna's Avatar
    Jenna is offline sheep
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    Thanks to this test, I now know for sure that I'm a Democrat.

  16. #16
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK
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    'You are carrying a Glock cal40, and you are an expert shot.'

    this is a byass test. i'm going to sue.
    that statement rules out any democraps


    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



  17. #17
    carolina's Avatar
    carolina is offline Master Officer
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    I'm goning to "almost" quote Jenna ....

    Thanks to this test, I now know for sure that I'm a true southerner!


    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. - Leo Buscaglia

  18. #18
    BEB
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    ...down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
    Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

    Thud, crunch, kerthump...kerthump.



    I'd be driving down the street. Why aren't the Democrats, Republicans and Southerners using the sidewalk?


  19. #19
    Pedro56's Avatar
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    Multiple shots, many many shots.
    http://www.lawenforcementforums.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic763_2.gif

    "I am the guy that keeps Mister Dead in his pocket." -'Mad' Max Rockatansky

    "An Englewood Ranger is no stranger to Danger.." -Unk

    Good Night Chesty Where Ever You Are.

    A Good Friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying, "That was Awesome."

    God Made Police Men so Fireman Would Have Heroes.

  20. #20
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Bang? More like BOOM.
    (1911) Followed by my saying nice grouping to the head and faster draw than me son.
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


 

 
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