Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Product Labels

  1. #1
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    07-17-06
    Location
    Crossroads of the Sunny South
    Posts
    8,131
    Rep Power
    3999639

    Product Labels

    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through blind following of regulations, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
    ______________________________ __________
    On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
    (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
    ______________________________ __________
    On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
    (the shoplifter special?)
    ______________________________ __________


    On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
    (and that would be???....)
    ______________________________ __________

    On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
    (but, it's just a suggestion.)
    ______________________________ __________

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
    (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
    ______________________________ __________


    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
    (...and you thought????...)
    ______________________________ __________


    On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
    (but wouldn't this save me time?)
    ______________________________ __________

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
    ______________________________ __________

    On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
    (...I'm taking this because???....)
    ______________________________ __________

    On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
    (as opposed to what?)
    ______________________________ __________
    On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
    (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
    ______________________________ __________On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
    (talk about a news flash)
    ______________________________ __________
    On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
    (Step 3: say what?)
    ______________________________ __________

    On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
    (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
    ______________________________ __________

    On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
    (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

  2. #2
    rob84's Avatar
    rob84 is offline Did you press the power button?
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    01-19-07
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    2,008
    Rep Power
    352438
    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through blind following of regulations, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
    ______________________________ __________
    On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
    (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
    ______________________________ __________
    On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
    (the shoplifter special?)
    ______________________________ __________


    On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
    (and that would be???....)
    ______________________________ __________

    On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
    (but, it's just a suggestion.)
    ______________________________ __________

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
    (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
    ______________________________ __________


    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
    (...and you thought????...)
    ______________________________ __________


    On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
    (but wouldn't this save me time?)
    ______________________________ __________

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
    ______________________________ __________

    On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
    (...I'm taking this because???....)
    ______________________________ __________

    On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
    (as opposed to what?)
    ______________________________ __________
    On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
    (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
    ______________________________ __________On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
    (talk about a news flash)
    ______________________________ __________
    On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
    (Step 3: say what?)
    ______________________________ __________

    On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
    (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
    ______________________________ __________

    On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
    (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

    Atleast that dumbass wont be reproducing.

    www.twitter.com/RobKimble1984
    www.facebook.com/robkimble

  3. #3
    10-42Adam's Avatar
    10-42Adam is offline Major
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    09-24-06
    Location
    Delaware
    Posts
    5,928
    Rep Power
    200413
    Those are pretty funny. It's a shame they even have to be said though in this sue-happy country.
    Calm Like A Bomb...

    A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.
    -Winston Churchill

  4. #4
    dlocke1419's Avatar
    dlocke1419 is offline Officer First Class
    Join Date
    05-18-06
    Posts
    308
    Rep Power
    664409
    Come one you can tell me you never put your uniform on and noticed did this just to fix a spot you missed.

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
    (but wouldn't this save me time?)
    ______________________________ __________

  5. #5
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    07-17-06
    Location
    Crossroads of the Sunny South
    Posts
    8,131
    Rep Power
    3999639
    Quote Originally Posted by dlocke1419 View Post
    Come one you can tell me you never put your uniform on and noticed did this just to fix a spot you missed.

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
    (but wouldn't this save me time?)
    ______________________________ __________


    Err... no comment
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

  6. #6
    countybear's Avatar
    countybear is offline BDRT - Baby Daddy Removal Team
    Verified LEO
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    01-18-07
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    6,512
    Rep Power
    4611629

    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  7. #7
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-16-06
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    3,406
    Rep Power
    4019286
    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
    (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

    I actually have had to stop the chain with my balls of steel before.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-06-07, 07:15 PM
  2. Warning Labels Advocated for Plus-Sized Clothing
    By TXCharlie in forum In the News
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 12-20-06, 11:20 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •