Splinters

[dapples]

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember .




1. Jimmy Swaggert trying to revive his career...has written an impressive new
book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only
expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is
gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if
you're in the bathroom.

6 I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up,
the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of
course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8.. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives
the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines
and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to
rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal
fluid."

11. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how
he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told
him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will.
He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to
bite."

12. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex]


13. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters
never point the wrong way.

[lewisipso]

Funny and roger that.

[Morning Coffee]

These were great Dapples ... lol