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  1. #1
    k-9max's Avatar
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    Describe your worst date!

    Describe what you would consider your worse date.
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked, Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  2. #2
    Ducky's Avatar
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    Let's see, Mr Halitosis who insisted on trying to grab a feel in the theater, or Mr Short & Supercilious who couldn't grasp that Evolution was, in fact, a comedy. Tough choice.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  3. #3
    Sapper_132's Avatar
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    I met this really HOT chick online in a video chat room, when I lived in Korea. We talked a bit and decided to meet up. When I went to meet her I walked up and was like hey hows it going? Then this hippo looking chick comes up behind me and says hey how are you? I was like whos this girl? I said do I know you? She's like yeah I'm (whatever her name was) and I said I thought this (pointing to the Hot chick) was you? She says no that's my friend I had the web camera aimed at her.

    I was like so is your friend single cause if not I'm leaving. I came to meet a hot chick not a FAT Chick.

    I got slapped and they left.

    Pissed me off! I drove 50 miles to meet that chick.....
    Last edited by Sapper_132; 05-18-07 at 09:49 PM. Reason: spelling errors
    Just because your sign off after you're shift is done, doesn't mean that it's over and put blinders on. You're a cop 24/7 wether you like it or not. If thats something you can't handle, you should find a new line of work!

  4. #4
    k-9max's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tjpuclik2 View Post
    I met this really HOT chick online in a video chat room, when I lived in Korea. We talked a bit and decided to meet up. When I went to meet her I walked up and was like hey hows it going? Then this hippo looking chick comes up behind me and says hey how are you? I was like whos this girl? I said do I know you? She's like yeah I'm (whatever her name was) and I said I thought this (pointing to the Hot chick) was you? She says no that's my friend I had the web camera aimed at her.

    I was like so is your friend single cause if not I'm leaving. I came to meet a hot chick not a FAT Chick.

    I got slapped and they left.

    Pissed me off! I drove 50 miles to meet that chick.....
    Are you one of them guys i seen on NBC Dateline "to catch a predator".
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked, Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  5. #5
    Growler's Avatar
    Growler is offline I is not happy
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    I had one like Ducky.. bad breath. Except his breath was so bad, I could have sworn I saw green smoke come out. SHort little nails, bitten to the quick. They looked like turtle hands. Oh yeah and to top the night off, he actually had lifts in his shoes.

  6. #6
    k-9max's Avatar
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    i'm sorry,
    i'm a new person now, promise
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked, Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  7. #7
    Jackalope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Growler View Post
    I had one like Ducky.. bad breath. Except his breath was so bad, I could have sworn I saw green smoke come out. SHort little nails, bitten to the quick. They looked like turtle hands. Oh yeah and to top the night off, he actually had lifts in his shoes.
    You're a girl? I had no idea.

    Or are you gay? If you're gay, then you'll probably be the next moderator.
    "I'm not a coward,
    I've just never been tested
    I'd like to think that if I was,
    I would pass"
    ~Mighty Mighty Bosstones~

  8. #8
    k-9max's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jackalope View Post
    You're a girl? I had no idea.

    Or are you gay? If you're gay, then you'll probably be the next moderator.
    LMAO
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked, Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  9. #9
    sgtbear111's Avatar
    sgtbear111 is offline retired
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    Went to an expensive steak house to impress this attractive 8/10 blonde who finally agreed ...

    Got a table and menus,she goes off the girl's room, returns and picks up menu and scans it a whole 5 seconds and says she wants the large cut of prime rib with everything on the potato. Ordered a decent wine "Mateus" rose. I then noted she is wearing a large ring on her left ring finger that wasn't there before. "That new ?" asks me. Reply was "from a friend". "Diamond?" asks me. Reply "yes". Comment "I think I can fill in the blanks". No reply, no eye contact.

    Salad and wine arrive, she asks for glass of ice, waiter brings it, and she pours her wineglass into the ice, she grabs the bottle to fill the glass. Waiter shakes head and walks off. Main course arrives, she picks at it, then anounces she's on a diet and pushes it away. Chugs the wine and lights a cigarette while I'm eating my meal, uses her plate for ashtray. I didn't finish mine either as it tasted like an ashtray. Remaining wine is chugged by Ms Manners. Nothing to say; I'm po'd, and she yawns and smokes a lot.

    Waiter asks if we need dessert or 2nd bottle, so I asked if she could have a bottle of Mad-Dog 20-20, T-bird, Muscatel or Tokay in a paper bag "to go". Cup and ice not needed, no dessert. Waiter eyeballs her, gives me an apologetic look, and says they dont sell wine for off-premises use. "but if she likes MD 2020 or T-bird..... there is a 7-11 across the street". Paid the waiter, good tip, he gives an automatic "have a nice night......" then says "I'll say thank you instead". My reply "suspect she's got another one waiting, my night will be better very soon".

    Pulled up on corner of her street, she got out, not a word exchanged. No stop at 7-11 for wine, I do have my limits.
    Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.-- Anonymous

    Old People, like me, may not be around to witness the destruction of our Nation. The rest of you may not survive the collapse. We all have the sworn duty to prevent it.

    The light of hope burns brighter than the fires of doom.

  10. #10
    iso607's Avatar
    iso607 is offline Sergeant
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    Quote Originally Posted by sgtbear111 View Post
    Went to an expensive steak house to impress this attractive 8/10 blonde who finally agreed ...

    Got a table and menus,she goes off the girl's room, returns and picks up menu and scans it a whole 5 seconds and says she wants the large cut of prime rib with everything on the potato. Ordered a decent wine "Mateus" rose. I then noted she is wearing a large ring on her left ring finger that wasn't there before. "That new ?" asks me. Reply was "from a friend". "Diamond?" asks me. Reply "yes". Comment "I think I can fill in the blanks". No reply, no eye contact.

    Salad and wine arrive, she asks for glass of ice, waiter brings it, and she pours her wineglass into the ice, she grabs the bottle to fill the glass. Waiter shakes head and walks off. Main course arrives, she picks at it, then anounces she's on a diet and pushes it away. Chugs the wine and lights a cigarette while I'm eating my meal, uses her plate for ashtray. I didn't finish mine either as it tasted like an ashtray. Remaining wine is chugged by Ms Manners. Nothing to say; I'm po'd, and she yawns and smokes a lot.

    Waiter asks if we need dessert or 2nd bottle, so I asked if she could have a bottle of Mad-Dog 20-20, T-bird, Muscatel or Tokay in a paper bag "to go". Cup and ice not needed, no dessert. Waiter eyeballs her, gives me an apologetic look, and says they dont sell wine for off-premises use. "but if she likes MD 2020 or T-bird..... there is a 7-11 across the street". Paid the waiter, good tip, he gives an automatic "have a nice night......" then says "I'll say thank you instead". My reply "suspect she's got another one waiting, my night will be better very soon".

    Pulled up on corner of her street, she got out, not a word exchanged. No stop at 7-11 for wine, I do have my limits.
    Man no offense, but that sounds like an episode of "Blind Date"

  11. #11
    Growler's Avatar
    Growler is offline I is not happy
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jackalope View Post
    You're a girl? I had no idea.

    Or are you gay? If you're gay, then you'll probably be the next moderator.
    It's all a mystery...
    Makes sense how huh? Why do you think I know Virginian so well?
    Last edited by Growler; 05-19-07 at 10:15 AM.

  12. #12
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    Semi-blind first date. We had connected through one of those internet dating sites. We had talked on the phone a few times, but hadn't met yet. He had tickets for Journey - cool!

    Now, my rule is to meet at a public place. I bent it, and met him at a central place, and we drove together from there.

    He made a big deal about how he gets teased for having a powder blue VW beetle (new version.)

    We had planned on dinner too, and he decided we'd get a meal at the venue. When he saw the prices, he started to bitch, so I said I'd buy the beer. He started to complain that I was getting the better deal, then he saw how much the beer cost. (We were totally even!)

    When we had talked on the phone, he had said he was a widower. His wife had died the previous year of ovarian cancer, and he was just starting to date again.

    As we sat and chatted, with our burgers and beers, it came out that he had been seeing someone, but she broke it off. In fact, she was the one that was supposed to go to the Journey gig with him. In fact! She walked right by us, with her new date!!!

    Then, he started to trash his deceased wife!

    Then, he wanted to know if I was serious about pursuing a relationship, because he didn't want to waste a lot of time dating!

    Thank G-d the concert finally started!!!!

    Journey was awesome!!!!

    The sweet ending was at the shopping center, where I had left my car. It just so happens, there was a Sheriff's patrol car there...total coincidence! I said, "Oh look! There's Deputy So-and-So, right on time!"
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

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  13. #13
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
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    One of the worst was a blind date set up by an acquaintance. We met at a restaurant and when he greeted me he smiled.....and I saw that he had a black, rotted tooth right in the front of his mouth on the top row. I'm really not a shallow person at all, but I was fixated on it, I couldn't look away, and I tried so hard not to say anything funny. I wound up saying that I had to get up very early the next day and didn't have time for dinner, so we had a couple of drinks and I got out of there.

    And then there was the guy who, after he had pursued me for a while and we'd gone out once, called and told me that he couldn't see me anymore because God told him that I was a temptation from the devil. He did call me a few weeks later and said that he'd been communicating with me spiritually and realized that I was a good person. He'd realized it was Satan and not God who'd told him about me being a temptation from the devil because Satan was trying to prevent him from having a good woman, and would I please, please, please go out with him again. Needless to say, I did not.




  14. #14
    countybear's Avatar
    countybear is offline BDRT - Baby Daddy Removal Team
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    God told him that I was a temptation from the devil.
    If you are a temptation from the devil, where do I sign up?


    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
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    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  15. #15
    Buttercup's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countybear View Post
    If you are a temptation from the devil, where do I sign up?


    Haha!

    No sign up necessary for you, countybear!




  16. #16
    countybear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttercup View Post
    Haha!

    No sign up necessary for you, countybear!

    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  17. #17
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
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    Years ago the sister of one of the guys on my shift heard me talking over his portable and apparently liked my voice, wanted to meet / go out with me. I met her and due to NUMEROUS reasons including her extremely pushy personality, I was not interested in a date. Being polite, I talked to her some on and off. My co-worker kept pestering me, telling me that she was just bugging the crap out of him to get me to go out with her. Finally, to shut everybody up, I took her to a concert at the State Fair and I parked at a quick stop. Went to the concert and, as predicted, had a terrible time. We came out and found my truck missing. I found out from the clerk that they had towed my truck. I had to call another girl that I had dated some to come get us and take us to impound to get my truck.
    One good note: I never saw or heard from the girl again!
    *************************
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  18. #18
    Jim1348 is offline Rookie
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    I can relate to sgtbear111's story. Although certainly not to that extreme, I have tried to not date a cigarette smoker. Somehow I get lined up for a date with this gal and sure enough the first thing when we get sat down somewhere is she lights up. It was a good lesson to me to find out ahead of time if someone is a cigarette smoker. I have also unfortunately ran into a number of "closet smokers" that won't tell you about it up front when asked or even very actively deny it and try to hide it. I mean for Pete's sake, if you are a smoker at least let someone know up front when you are asked about it.

  19. #19
    countybear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim1348 View Post
    I can relate to sgtbear111's story. Although certainly not to that extreme, I have tried to not date a cigarette smoker. Somehow I get lined up for a date with this gal and sure enough the first thing when we get sat down somewhere is she lights up. It was a good lesson to me to find out ahead of time if someone is a cigarette smoker. I have also unfortunately ran into a number of "closet smokers" that won't tell you about it up front when asked or even very actively deny it and try to hide it. I mean for Pete's sake, if you are a smoker at least let someone know up front when you are asked about it.
    I smoked at my wedding... is that bad?

    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  20. #20
    Willowdared's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countybear View Post
    I smoked at my wedding... is that bad?
    Depends....was it before, or after the "I do's?"
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

 

 
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