Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 19 of 19
  1. #1
    KNR509's Avatar
    KNR509 is offline Often Intimated……but Never Duplicated!
    Join Date
    09-13-06
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    81
    Rep Power
    44528

    Talking **When Dealing with Police**

    The last one is one i hold to and it gets me some dirty looks...oh well refer to number 3...

    When dealing with the police remember:

    1. No asking me directions while I'm pointing a shotgun at a suspect.

    2. No following me at 100 mph just to see where I'm going.

    3. No touching me. Ever!

    4. No asking if I've ever killed anyone.

    5. No asking to touch my gun.

    6. No interrupting my meal break to ask for directions or tell me
    about a ticket you got 20 years ago.

    7. No pointing at me and tell your misbehaving child I'm gonna arrest him/her.

    8. No asking if I remember you from handling your bicycle theft 5 years ago.

    9. No reminding me about police discretion when I tell you that you're getting a ticket. I know what it is. Fight it or pay it.

    10. No asking if I can tell you who is the registered owner of a certain license plate or address. I doesn't matter if they are doin'
    your wife, I still can't tell you who they are.

    11. No whiney little requests after I arrest you. No, you can't have a cigarrette, or a drink, we're not stopping to pick up your coat, nor will we take a potty break. You are going to jail , not a full-service
    hotel.

    12. No crying to me when I empty a can of OC into the back seat with you. If you try to kick out the back windows of my car, I'm saving you a felony charge of destruction of PD property.

    13. No lying about it. If I see you do it, You won't win.

    14. No requests to run your name just so you can know if you have any warrants. Take a moment to think about what is going to happen if I find one. If you still can't figure out what I'm talking about and still want me to do it, please familiarize yourself with rules 11 and 12 above before we continue.

    15. No telling me what the law is. I know. You don't.

    16. No telling me you pay my salary. Let's assume for a moment that you do pay cops' salary. Well, I pay taxes too, so I pay cops' salary, too. So let's just say that this stop is on me.

    17. No puking into my defroster

    18. No spitting unless you want your head in a bag.

    19. No craping in your pants in may car.

    20. No ****ing in your pants in my car.

    21. No telling me you know the mayor / sheriff / governor, president., etc.

    22. No telling me it's my fault you life is ruined. You f*cked it up all by yourself.

    23. No telling me you know the chief personally. So do I, and he expects me to do my job.

    24. No telling me you know a cop named "Jim' who works downtown.

    25. No calling and complaining about the lenght of your neighbors grass.

    26. No ****ing people off. I am not your personal protection service. Stop ****ing people off.

    27. No babysitting. At no point in time did it ever become my job to raise your children, I have enough problems raising my wiener dog thank you very much.

    28. No approaching me on a traffic stop and asking to run my siren. Do I come to your office and ask to play with stuff?

    29. No donut jokes

    30. No telling your kids I will take them to jail. Say it, and I may take YOU to jail.

    31. No asking for gas money. Get a job.

    32. No groupies. Well, wait a minute...

    33. No Wannabes.

    34. No coffee and donuts jokes. However, cappuccino and croissants are acceptable.

    35. No asking if you can test positive for a drug by just being around it.

    36. No whining about me violating your probation. You did that all by yourself.

    37. No telling the person on the phone, "There's a cop here and he's going to shoot me."

    38. No *****ing

    39. No crying

    40. No cheek slappers in my patrol car.

    41. No whining about my spotlamp in your mirrors

    42. No whining about my flashlight in your eyes

    43. No arguing. Period. Just sign the friggin' ticket and shut the fu*k up.

    44. No looking at my radar reading. Tough noogies, you'll just have to trust me.

    45. No calling the judge names just because you know my video recorder is on.

    46. No flashing my video recorder. Well...wait a minute....

    47. If you're doing 100mph in a 70mph zone don't ask why I pulled u over

    48. When I'm taking u to jail dont tell me about how ur going to be an officer one day.

    49. When I walk in the room, don't say "I DIDN'T DO IT" cause you probably did at one time.

    50. Don't insult my intelligence with obvious lies or anything else. I wasn't born yesterday.

    51. No mistaking my kindness for weakness.

    52. No asking to go shopping on a restricted license

    53. No begging for a break. Beg, and you get the whole can.

    54. No hurting children. That will make you my enemy and that is dangerous.

    55. No telling me you're an Elk, Mason, Eagle or Moose. It means nothing to me.

    56. No threatening my family. Fatal error.

    57. No threatening to call my supervisor. He already knows I'm an a**hole.

    58. No asking for an extra grope when I frisk you.

    59. No asking for me to scratch an itchy spot during same frisk.

    60. No complaining my hood is hot when I lay you out. I know. Black
    paint is hot.

    61. No more asking for warnings. Automatic ticket.

    62. No more asking me to wait for your friend to come and drive your
    car away instead of the wrecker. (It's part of the punishment).

    63. No more stopping behind my traffic stop and blocking my lights.

    64. No more saying you're a lawyer. Even if you were, it wouldn't matter.

    65. No more saying you'll have my job for this. (yawn).

    66. No "swearing to God," when your caught dirty.

    67. No spelling my name wrong when you complain. Why do you thik
    they make me wear a nametag, you friggin' idiot!

    68. No running. I will still catch you and when I do, I will express my
    dissastifaction.

    69. No reaching under your seat unless you like the fel of cold gun metal in your ear.

    70. No touching any weapons in your car just "to show me." You show me yours and I'll show you mine.

    71. No stacking five or six cop ball caps in your rear deck.

    72. No phony "I support cops" stickers in your window.

    73. No telling me you had one beer. Nobody drinks one beer.

    74. No staring at your speedometer in slackjawed disbelief when I tell you your speed.

    75. No telling me your speedometer "said" something else. Speedometers don't talk.

    76. No telling me your speedometer is broken. Ain't buyin' it.

    77. No calling your dad (or anybody else) when I have you stopped
    and having him come out and ***** at me for stopping you.

    78. No answering the above call and coming out to my stop, getting out of your car, storming over towards my patrol car, and crying
    "that's my son!!". I don't care. He's my stop. Go away or go to jail, and that's your only warning.

    79. No comments about a "quota". Yes, it's true... three more tickets and my wife gets a new toaster oven.

    80. No telling me that I should be out chasing "real criminals". You broke the law. That makes YOU a criminal. A "real" one even.

    81. No telling me you're doing your botany homework, when I catch you in a cow pasture with a bag of mushrooms.

    82. No telling me I pulled you over because you're black, oriental, cuban, iranian, mexican, hindu, canadian, samoan, redneck, because you're from out of state, meeting my quota, driving a mercedes, or any other ignorant reason other than what your ignorant a** did to get your ignorant a** stopped.

    83. No coming to a complete stop in the hammer lane on the interstate if I come up behind you running code 3. This will make the
    Policeman very angry, and he may smite you in the pocketbook if he gets a Code 4 ( no further assistance needed ) transmission over the radio, and you are still in sight.

    84. No interrupting me if I'm eating to come up to ask me if I know your brother/sister/friend/whoever that works for a small county agency on the other side of the state. Guess what? We all don't know each other! Now go away!

    85. No complaining about me speeding on the way to jail. Do you really want to sit in the back of my squad all night? I have more people to arrest.

    86. No forgetting who has the right of way at four way stop intersections. We really hate it when you don't go when you are supposed to, just because your ascared of the police car also at the stop sign. We don't even care if you screw it up - JUST GO!

    87. No ignoring my lights until you reach your driveway. Those lights mean stop - NOW!

    88. No shouting out, "WE DON'T CHARGE COPS HERE. IT'S FREE!" as I stand at the head of a long line to pay for my lunch.

    89. No asking scum questions, like if "they" can arrest/stop/detain/search you for this or that, when "they" is ME! I'm standing right in front of you! Ask if I can do it.

    90. No shaking my hand. Refer back to #3.
    *A GIRL COP*


    In Loving Memory Officer Keith Houts

  2. #2
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
    Join Date
    06-28-06
    Location
    O'ahu Hawaii
    Posts
    4,278
    Rep Power
    610529
    the eating one... i just want to do an episode of Bad Santa at them...

    and yeah... NO touching
    lol
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  3. #3
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    07-17-06
    Location
    Crossroads of the Sunny South
    Posts
    8,129
    Rep Power
    3999623
    #24 - It irks the sh&% out of me when someone says "I have a good friend that works with y'all"
    Me-"Oh really, what's his name"
    Violator - UUhhh, you know, big guy, dark hair and a mustache, works over on Old Canton alot."

    I know all of my "good friends" names, and for them most part, all of their immediate family members names.

    GRRRR!!
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

  4. #4
    cwtlady's Avatar
    cwtlady is offline Corporal
    Supporting Member Lvl 2
    Join Date
    07-20-06
    Posts
    974
    Rep Power
    246343
    Good post. I've done 3 and 90. Touching and shaking hands (you forgot hugging).


    Funny how a police chief wouldn't shake my hand just because I had a cold. Hmmm.
    http://www.odmp.org/officer/16551-de...l-eron-shannon

    Police Officers put themselves at risk for strangers every day. Some do not make it home to their families. Next time you think of saying something negative about the police, remember...YOU are one of the strangers.

  5. #5
    mavriktu's Avatar
    mavriktu is offline Patrol Sgt.
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-21-06
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    2,847
    Rep Power
    5559832
    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    #24 - It irks the sh&% out of me when someone says "I have a good friend that works with y'all"
    Me-"Oh really, what's his name"
    Violator - UUhhh, you know, big guy, dark hair and a mustache, works over on Old Canton alot."

    I know all of my "good friends" names, and for them most part, all of their immediate family members names.

    GRRRR!!
    I love when they play the "do you know (insert officer name here)"I like to answer with "No ! Do you know officer Mavriktu??"---this is a win/win situation.If they answer yes,I say "dont think so or he wouldnt be writing you this ticket"----OR,if they answer no,I tell them "you should ,cause he is the one writing you this ticket"

  6. #6
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Verified LEO
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    02-02-07
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    14,657
    Rep Power
    6822865
    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    #24 - It irks the sh&% out of me when someone says "I have a good friend that works with y'all"
    Me-"Oh really, what's his name"
    Violator - UUhhh, you know, big guy, dark hair and a mustache, works over on Old Canton alot."

    I know all of my "good friends" names, and for them most part, all of their immediate family members names.

    GRRRR!!
    Yes I know Officer so and so. I don't like him and he doesn't like me. He's a puss. Anyone else you know.
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  7. #7
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-16-06
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    3,406
    Rep Power
    4019271
    Printed and posted at the PD.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  8. #8
    Coloradocop's Avatar
    Coloradocop is offline It's the PoPo
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    08-16-06
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    1,042
    Rep Power
    282655
    I like the one about asking directions when I'm pointing a shotgun at someone...

    I've had a few of these types of deals... One bitch walked between my car and an occupied steal while I was doing a high risk stop (at least 5 of us with guns pointed at the 5 shitheads in the car). Best part is, this bitch was crossing the street with her three little kids at the time. Wouldn't have minded the collateral damage if she ended up in the crossfire, but not the kids!!!

  9. #9
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    06-05-06
    Location
    Once a New Yawker, Always a New Yawker
    Posts
    5,456
    Rep Power
    1532833
    One of my favorites is when I have someone in cuffs, they ask me if they're under arrest..and one time I got so fed up with that question, I just told them that no, this is just foreplay
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  10. #10
    Virginian's Avatar
    Virginian is offline Major
    Supporting Member Lvl 2
    Join Date
    12-28-05
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    3,647
    Rep Power
    8590732
    24. No telling me you know a cop named "Jim' who works downtown.
    I know a cop named Jim. Total douchebag.


  11. #11
    k-9max's Avatar
    k-9max is offline K9 Officer
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    12-21-06
    Location
    Gods Country
    Posts
    3,427
    Rep Power
    686027
    4. No asking if I've ever killed anyone



    I tell them, " you know, they still never found the last guy ,or did they? "

    they look at you like your some freakcop.
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked,” Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  12. #12
    Magnum440 is offline Older Than Dirt
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    02-15-06
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    285
    Rep Power
    3161461
    Good to see the rules haven't changed much over the last 35 years. Some of that crap could have resulted in use of force forms back then. Good post.
    Facta non verba
    "The good Lord set definite limits on man's wisdom, but set no limits on his stupidity — and that's not fair!" — Konrad Adenauer,

  13. #13
    10-42Adam's Avatar
    10-42Adam is offline Major
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    09-24-06
    Location
    Delaware
    Posts
    5,928
    Rep Power
    200398
    Haha that's great. I try to never shake anybodys hand while on duty...I always give them a "pound" instead.
    Calm Like A Bomb...

    A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.
    -Winston Churchill

  14. #14
    Lo523's Avatar
    Lo523 is offline Master Officer
    Supporting Member Lvl 1
    Join Date
    04-16-06
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,353
    Rep Power
    2919828
    Copied and emailed to the guys at the work. They will love that one, even tho the gun ones don't apply to us!
    Never approach a bull by the front, a horse from behind, or an idiot from any direction.

  15. #15
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    07-17-06
    Location
    Crossroads of the Sunny South
    Posts
    8,129
    Rep Power
    3999623
    Quote Originally Posted by k-9max View Post
    4. No asking if I've ever killed anyone



    I tell them, " you know, they still never found the last guy ,or did they? "

    they look at you like your some freakcop.
    Answer - "Not while on duty." dont elaborate. Get some wierd looks with that one.
    Last edited by Cidp24; 06-02-07 at 10:24 AM.
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

  16. #16
    Jackalope's Avatar
    Jackalope is offline Yell O
    Join Date
    11-12-06
    Location
    Right on the Left Coast
    Posts
    1,100
    Rep Power
    277426
    Quote Originally Posted by Virginian View Post
    I know a cop named Jim. Total douchebag.

    Speaking of cops named Jim, where has Piggybank Cop been lately?
    "I'm not a coward,
    I've just never been tested
    I'd like to think that if I was,
    I would pass"
    ~Mighty Mighty Bosstones~

  17. #17
    rob84's Avatar
    rob84 is offline Did you press the power button?
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    01-19-07
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    2,008
    Rep Power
    352422
    No joke, when we were in Ocean City last year, a drunk guy actually smacked an officers horses ass. The officer turned around, and quickly jumped off the horse and started questioning him. The whole time the officer was speaking to him, the guys was petting the horse!!!. The officer kept tellling him to not touch the horse, but it was like he couldn't controll it, his hand just kept sneaking up and petting the horse. Eventually he got cuffed and taken away, but not before we got a good laugh.

    www.twitter.com/RobKimble1984
    www.facebook.com/robkimble

  18. #18
    BEB
    BEB is offline Banned
    Join Date
    11-27-06
    Posts
    1,838
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by rob84 View Post
    The whole time the officer was speaking to him, the guys was petting the horse!!!. The officer kept tellling him to not touch the horse, but it was like he couldn't controll it, his hand just kept sneaking up and petting the horse.
    Horses are crazy petable!

    Is the "Don't hop out of your vehicle and wave as you approach the cruiser with your documents" in there? If so, missed it.

    I used to do that. Once while brandishing a headlight (I knew I had a headlight out, figured I'd see if I could swap it right there). Didn't go over too well.

  19. #19
    Jenna's Avatar
    Jenna is offline sheep
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Join Date
    06-11-06
    Posts
    24,147
    Rep Power
    4764592
    Quote Originally Posted by rob84 View Post
    The officer kept tellling him to not touch the horse, but it was like he couldn't controll it, his hand just kept sneaking up and petting the horse.
    I can relate. I was scolded in an Australian airport for petting a contraband-sniffing beagle that was checking out my luggage. I would never try to pet the scary-looking German Shepherds that serve as K9s in the US, but that Australian beagle was so Snoopy-like and cute I couldn't resist!
    Last edited by Jenna; 06-03-07 at 07:45 AM.

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Corrections officer charged with dealing meth
    By dla4079 in forum In the News
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-08-07, 08:53 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •