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  1. #1
    Tony's Avatar
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    Nine Dangerous Words Women Use

    Nine Dangerous Words Women Use

    1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

    2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the ouse.

    3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine.

    4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

    5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about Nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of Nothing.)

    6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's Okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

    7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just
    say you're welcome.

    8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying SCREW YOU!

    9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

  2. #2
    Motorwaycop's Avatar
    Motorwaycop is offline Retired Plod
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    10. Can we talk: I want to tell you about what you're doing wrong, you have got to be sympathetic and be ready to apologise profusely to me.
    the sole advantage of power is that you can do more good.
    ( Baltasar Gracian )

  3. #3
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    I say number 7 but usually in a sarcastic tone
    lol
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  4. #4
    Rhino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Motorwaycop View Post
    10. Can we talk: I want to tell you about what you're doing wrong, you have got to be sympathetic and be ready to apologise profusely to me.
    Amen, brother. Amen.
    "If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn't thinking." -Gen. George S. Patton

  5. #5
    k-9max's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Motorwaycop View Post
    10. Can we talk: I want to tell you about what you're doing wrong, you have got to be sympathetic and be ready to apologise profusely to me.

    # 10 more like:
    ME: Can we talk,
    HER: I knew it, who is she, how long you been cheating on me!
    ME: What!!!
    then the conversation ends with the silent treatment again!!!!!!!!!
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked, Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  6. #6
    smokey703's Avatar
    smokey703 is offline I'm Bi-WINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    My wife usually gets me with # 4.
    Wise men stand behind me, brave men stand beside me, but only fools stand against me.

    The force that propels you to prevail when you are put to a test of survival will be a mindset that refuses to accept nothing but winning.

    Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to reach out and bitch slap that motherf*cker upside the head.

  7. #7
    Iron Man's Avatar
    Iron Man is offline Don't Tase me bro!
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    Depending on the stage of your relationship:

    "I love you"
    This message was brought to you by Tampons. We
    aren't the best thing in the world but we are right up
    there next to it.


    To them its always 'scary and aggressive' driving. To us its at times a matter of life and death." -LawnMM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmYie3bB3OU

  8. #8
    Jenna's Avatar
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    Depending on the stage of your relationship:

    "I'm pregnant!"

  9. #9
    Tony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna View Post
    Depending on the stage of your relationship:

    "I'm pregnant!"
    LOL ~ yeah, first date not so good

  10. #10
    kay88's Avatar
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    I don't beat around the bush with #8, I just come right out and say it...actual words used vary depending on the "heat" level of the argument.
    Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
    ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

  11. #11
    Cheech Guest
    I heard all nine of these #%$@%^$ words today.

  12. #12
    Tony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheech View Post
    I heard all nine of these #%$@%^$ words today.
    Geez, I'm sorry to hear than mate, like um. . . you're not too down are you??

  13. #13
    CT209's Avatar
    CT209 is offline Once..... Forever
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    My wife uses 1,2,3,5,and 8 an awful lot.

    After 14 years of marriage, I'm pretty immune to the ramifications of it all.
    "When a crime is committed, liberals blame society. Conservatives blame the criminal." -Debra Saunders

    Old Scottish Motto- "nemo me impune laccessit". It still holds true today.

  14. #14
    Tony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CT209 View Post
    My wife uses 1,2,3,5,and 8 an awful lot.

    After 14 years of marriage, I'm pretty immune to the ramifications of it all.
    Yeah yeah yeah . . . . we believe you!!!

  15. #15
    CT209's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wombat650 View Post
    Yeah yeah yeah . . . . we believe you!!!
    I found out my wife can only stay mad for about a week at best.

    It's just a matter of working extra shifts (less time at home) and riding out the storm.
    "When a crime is committed, liberals blame society. Conservatives blame the criminal." -Debra Saunders

    Old Scottish Motto- "nemo me impune laccessit". It still holds true today.

  16. #16
    Cheech Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Wombat650 View Post
    Geez, I'm sorry to hear than mate, like um. . . you're not too down are you??
    Nope in one ear out the other

  17. #17
    cajunguy's Avatar
    cajunguy is online now I LOVE my ParaOrd .45ACP!
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    Quote Originally Posted by CT209 View Post
    I found out my wife can only stay mad for about a week at best.

    It's just a matter of working extra shifts (less time at home) and riding out the storm.

    Just a week? WOW! That's good.

    But you know you're still in the middle of it, when you finally get home thinking the storm has passed, and the first words you hear are, "And another thing . . . "


    .
    The Swamp Mafia -
    "Heaven doesn't want us,
    and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!"
    .

  18. #18
    dapples's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julia View Post
    So true.#5 and #8 i use alot..

    hey girl those are mine too

  19. #19
    Tony's Avatar
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    This was sent to me ~ it expands on the thread a bit

    Women's english and men's english.... let's begin with women, shall we.....

    Womens English

    "Yes" = No
    'No" = Yes
    "Maybe" = No
    "I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
    "We need" = I want
    "It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now
    "Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later.
    "We need to talk" = I need to complain.
    "Sure go ahead" = I don't want you to.
    "I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
    "You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
    "You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?
    "Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs
    "This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house.
    "I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
    "Hang the picture there" = NO, I mean hang it there!
    "I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep.
    "Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive
    "How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to like.
    "I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
    "Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.
    "You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me.
    "Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead.]
    "Was that the baby?" = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.
    "I'm not yelling!" = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.
    "The same old thing" = Nothing
    "Nothing" = Everything
    "Everything" = My PMS is acting up.
    "Nothing, really" = It's just that you're such an *******.

    Mens English

    "I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
    "I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
    "I'm tired" = I'm tired.
    "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
    "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
    "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
    "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
    "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
    "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.
    "What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.
    "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
    "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
    "I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?
    "I love you." = Let's have sex now.
    "I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
    "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
    "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
    "Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
    "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
    (while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
    "I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = Damn, are you really going to spend that much on a blouse and skirt?

  20. #20
    CT209's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cajunguy View Post

    But you know you're still in the middle of it, when you finally get home thinking the storm has passed, and the first words you hear are, "And another thing . . . "

    LOL- rep sent.
    "When a crime is committed, liberals blame society. Conservatives blame the criminal." -Debra Saunders

    Old Scottish Motto- "nemo me impune laccessit". It still holds true today.

 

 
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