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Thread: Home Remedies
01-23-06, 01:22 PM #1
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup
of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be
almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget about the toothache.
Sometimes we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know
when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
01-23-06, 04:33 PM #2MountainCop Guest
Yeah, and that same family will be choosing your nursing home...
01-23-06, 04:47 PM #3
The irony is you would be suprised at how many times people have done that because they heard that it would work .Being the best is not what always counts. What counts is always trying your best.
Remember who you are, and where you came from. That way you never get a big head.
May those that lost their lives in 9-11 RIP, for the things you did not many could do. You left so many behind so that you could save so few. For now we stand strong as one, and will not look back till the fight is done. (me)
The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS only.
01-23-06, 10:26 PM #4bad to the bone
- Join Date
Originally Posted by chris2001
- Rep Power
01-24-06, 02:17 AM #5MountainCop GuestOriginally Posted by Daynathepayna
01-24-06, 02:24 AM #6Indy GuestOriginally Posted by Virginian
01-24-06, 02:34 AM #7MountainCop GuestOriginally Posted by Indy
And my pup Kheylar will wake the spousal unit up with the head on the bed, nosing her, etc. But she wouldn't wake me up if the planet was being invaded by the Grays
01-24-06, 02:35 AM #8Indy GuestOriginally Posted by MountainCop
I think I missed the point of that "cure."
01-24-06, 02:55 AM #9Originally Posted by Indy"To the German commander: 'Nuts!' The American Commander" - General Tony McAuliffe, 101st Airborne Division
01-24-06, 10:07 AM #10MountainCop GuestOriginally Posted by Welpe
Ah, life in the breakdown lane... wasn't that an Eagles song??
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