Real-life LEO friends--what percentage of your friendship network do they constitute?

**Jenna** · 06-22-07, 09:36 AM

What percentage of your current real-life friends are current or former LEOs or corrections officers?

A current real-life friend is here defined as someone who has been to your home or called you at home for non-work-related reasons, who you have called or visited at home for non-work-related reasons, or who you have shared a restaurant meal or bar drinks with for non-work related reasons, at least once in the past month.

I know there are lots of other ways to define current real-life friends, but I’m just picking this one to keep things consistent. Communications by email, IM, chatrooms, forums, etc. shouldn’t count for the purposes of this poll, because if they do then everyone here might say that 99 percent of their current friends are LEOs! But those of you who have friends who you interact with online but also socialized with in real life in the past month can also count those as current real-life friends. For the purposes of this poll, non-LEOs include only those who have never been LEOs or C/Os. And corrections officers should be in the same category as LEOs (I forgot they were in a separate category on this forum).

I’m curious because I’m trying to figure out how much of the difference between my perspectives and those of most people on this forum is due to differences between our social worlds. I don’t know any LEOs or even people in most of the other professions represented on this forum in real life; I walk past LEOs on the street, but I don’t interact with them in my work or social life. It's not because I want to avoid them (or they me), but rather because my social and professional world just never intersects with theirs. Part of the reason I like this forum is because the people I meet here are so different from those I know in real life. I learn about perspectives and insights here that I would not know about otherwise.

**gozling** · 06-22-07, 09:50 AM

outside of here.. i never socialize with LEO's outside of work.
I leave work at work... my friends who i had before becoming a LEO are still my good friends.
If an LEO ever needed help outside of work- I would be there in a heart beat...but when I am home, I am home and with my beach pals.
I tried to hang out with a few people from work outside of work and I felt like I was back at work...so... for me it just didnt work out... I do have one close person at work that I can relate to outside of work because work is kept out of our time together with friends etc...the mind set is the same as mine.

**TXPO710** · 06-22-07, 09:57 AM

The majority of my friends were LEO even before I became one. Guess it was pre ordained. Even as a kid growing up, my friends parents or relatives were LEO.

**Cst.SB** · 06-22-07, 12:09 PM

Tuff question. Most of my friends before becoming an LEO are still my friends. But as in the case of 2525 and a few others, they became LEOs before and after I did.

If it wasn't for them, I'd probably be in then 1-20% category.

**Pudge** · 06-22-07, 12:42 PM

There's no way I could put a percentage to it. All of my friends from before the job are still friends. The difference is that we don't do what we used to because of scheduling conflicts, etc. I'm friends with most of my co-workers outside of here and do somethings together outside of work, but it's occasionally.

Gozzy has a good point. I too feel like I'm back at work at times when I hang out with coworkers outside of here. Inevitably the conversation turns to some facet of the job and it sounds just like our shift briefings.

The only exceptions to this are when we're playing X-box online, then we're all just 15 year old kids again.

**phantasm** · 06-22-07, 01:45 PM

0-20. I'd say 2 or 3.

**melissa_2007** · 06-22-07, 02:16 PM

I am a non LEO and only 1% of my friends were LEO's.
It was confusing the way it was worded.I was able to figure it out though just took me a minute

anyway I thought I would post it here instead

I hope you all are feeling blessed today........ even this almost made me say

darn typo's or my fingers do not work,my guess would be my fingers do not work

**BEK** · 06-22-07, 02:22 PM

I can say that when getting into this work i was told that most if not all of my friends would be cops. I was told that my friends i had would stop wanting to hang out with me. I didnt believe it cause at first it didnt seem to matter but I dont know if it was a conscious choice of mine or a choice of my previous friends but I have noticed that most of my friends now are cops or in the cop field and my friends that I had once are no more. If I see any of them were friendly but we dont hang out like we use to

**Lo523** · 06-22-07, 02:28 PM

[quote=Pudge113;215761] All of my friends from before the job are still friends. The difference is that we don't do what we used to because of scheduling conflicts. [quote]

I fall between the two categories, but the majority of my friends are LEO's or retired LEO's, and we do socialise regularly. A night out generally starts off like a shift briefing, but after a few beers everything levels out and the job is temporarily forgotten!

**jmur5074** · 06-22-07, 05:19 PM

The majority of my friends are LEO's, firefighters, or paramedics because that's what a lot of my friends from high school 5 years ago went to do.

Another reason, the remainder of my friends in high school either learned to hate the police, or they are still drunks who live with their parents. And I have no interest in hanging out with them.

**Rhino** · 06-22-07, 05:37 PM

I'd say the shift is probably around 75% for me. The main reason is because my non-LEO friends have lives of their own and so we just lost touch with each other. Especially when I was working weekends on evenings- it's hard to hangout when they are working 9-5 jobs.

It's also become harder and harder for my non-LEO friends to relate to me and my interests. Also, the same lame cop jokes at my expense just get old.

I disagree with the whole "leave work at work" philosophy. These are people that I may have to count on to save my life, or I may have to save theirs. To leave such a bond strictly at work is just silly.

**jmur5074** · 06-22-07, 05:54 PM

Originally Posted by Rhino

It's also become harder and harder for my non-LEO friends to relate to me and my interests. Also, the same lame cop jokes at my expense just get old.

I got to agree.

The guys I work with don't throw their hands up and say "Don't shoot, it wasn't me!" when I walk into a room.
They don't ask if I shot anyone at work last night
They don't ask me if I'd arrest them for DWI if I ever caught them
etc,etc, etc.

**Tony** · 06-22-07, 06:18 PM

Hmm, with your definition it's 0%, but I have one good mate who's a LEO but he's away on hols so I haven't seen him this month!! LOL

I'm probably 15-25 years older than most of the LEO's I work with because most of them arrived at my office after I became a Sgt. They are all having their kids now, while I had mine in the late 80's. So they tend to socialise with each other, the wives, the babies and young kids. They would all tick the 50% or more for this. They are my mates but outside work I have the same views as gozling on this.

**TXCharlie** · 06-22-07, 06:22 PM

Non-LEO...

I have about five or six LEO's I've met personally who I can call friends, but it's not like we socialize or anything. Actually they seem kinda stand-offish for the most part.

Two of my best LEO friends quit the department in my town, so I don't ever see them anymore. One is a Texas Ranger now, and I haven't seen or heard from him since he got his new job about three or four years ago, somewhere in central Texas. The other one is an SRO in a town about 60 miles from here. We still email each other and talk on the phone occasionally, but that's about it. He encouraged me to apply for the Reserves in his town after I graduate though - You can't ask for a better friend than that

I've tried to invite the LEO's I know to our shooting matches, which is about the only social outlet I have, but they never want to go, so about the most we ever do is trade email jokes & stuff. - But that's about all I ever do with most of my non-LEO friends too - Not much difference, really.

My other friends never want to go to my shooting matches either, except the ones I met at the matches, of course. I usually don't care much about the other stuff they like to do, like going to NASCAR races or watching football games.

I shoot with a couple of LEO's who happen to go to our matches anyway (when we happen to show up on the same days). I met all the others on ride-alongs and volunteer gigs.

I have a couple of cousins who are LEO, but I hardly ever see them either, since they live in Louisiana & Mississippi. Three or four of my uncles were also LEO at least part-time, as was my great-grandfather, but most of them have passed away. I also have an extended family member in the Dallas PD, but we don't see each other unless the wives happen to drag us to the same funeral or wedding. Our wives talk to each other a lot more than we do

**lewisipso** · 06-22-07, 07:46 PM

I'm afraid that most of what friends I do keep are cops. Most civilians, I have found, do not really comprehend, (nor want to) what happens in the underbelly of their society. When cops have to do things like use upper levels of force it's not usually other cops that condem them. It's hard to have civilian friends one day that say they like cops and hate them the next when they get a ticket.
I know that all civilians (for the lack of a better term) are not like this but I would have to say the majority. I believe that cops usually believe that other cops can sympathize with the necessities of this job. jmo

**TXCharlie** · 06-22-07, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by lewisipso

It's hard to have civilian friends one day that say they like cops and hate them the next when they get a ticket.

I've heard of that happening even with civilian volunteers and a school crossing guard. One volunteer I know of in our town went to the Mayor because of his stupid ticket, a volunteer in another town got offended and filed a complaint because of a joke the officer made on a ride-along, and an ex-school crossing guard stirred up all kinds of shit, but I never knew exactly what that was all about.

I've gone to the Mayor & council before too, but sheesh, that was trying to get the Citizens Patrol approved, not ratting out someone because of a joke or trying to get out of a stupid ticket. If I'd been VP when that happened, those people would have been kicked out of the organization

**mavriktu** · 06-22-07, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by gozling

outside of here.. i never socialize with LEO's outside of work.
I leave work at work... my friends who i had before becoming a LEO are still my good friends.
If an LEO ever needed help outside of work- I would be there in a heart beat...but when I am home, I am home and with my beach pals.
I tried to hang out with a few people from work outside of work and I felt like I was back at work...so... for me it just didnt work out... I do have one close person at work that I can relate to outside of work because work is kept out of our time together with friends etc...the mind set is the same as mine.

100 % + 1,Dapples wonders why I dont have friends from work (besides the fact that most are wayyyyy younger than me),and this finally explains it ,better than I have been able to,thanks Goz.

**Autumn2009** · 06-22-07, 10:24 PM

Right now I've found the majority of my friends are people I work with at either of the two police departments I work at or people that I'm in the CJ program with. Over the past few years it seems like these are the only people that can relate to me and understand what work entails and don't get angry at me for having to work nights or weekends and not being able to hang out with them sometimes. Also, everyone else doesn't really get why I can't just run around making careless decisions just to have fun, they don't understand how drastic one stupid mistake will be to me. Not sure how it will be once I get into the field, but this is the way it is right now.

**tapout** · 06-22-07, 10:41 PM

most of my friends are cops. i grew up in philly, and eventually ended up out here in baltimore, where i didnt know anyone. the only people i really associate with now are cops i work with. i still have my friends from home, but factor in the different schedules, the distance, and the fact that we have responsibilities and priorities now that arent centered around beer pong, kegs and eggs, and frisbeer, i tend to only see them on "special occassions" like weddings and child births.

**gozling** · 06-22-07, 11:04 PM

Originally Posted by Rhino

I'd say the shift is probably around 75% for me. The main reason is because my non-LEO friends have lives of their own and so we just lost touch with each other. Especially when I was working weekends on evenings- it's hard to hangout when they are working 9-5 jobs.

It's also become harder and harder for my non-LEO friends to relate to me and my interests. Also, the same lame cop jokes at my expense just get old.

I disagree with the whole "leave work at work" philosophy. These are people that I may have to count on to save my life, or I may have to save theirs. To leave such a bond strictly at work is just silly.

I can see how it is hard for many to leave work at work... however I sort of wonder reading your words if you think that because I do this leave work at work thing, that I am not as reliable nor do I know my co workers well enough to have a tight squad? My new squad now is very tight at work. We train our PPOs and back eachother on just about everything.... We all have our own home lives and never socialize together outside of work (unless a car broke down or we needed something etc.. then we are there for eachother like a family)... I dont have time nor do they to want to hang out... they and myself would rather be with our own family and friends -- but I dont feel like we lack any bond, or security in our capabilities what so ever.
maybe I interpreted what you said wrong and if I did, my bad.