Call centre?

[Tony]

Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone point on the wall".

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RAC Motoring Services

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?"
Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in France)
"If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
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Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".


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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it.
If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".

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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was
transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little
light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your
computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the
window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......................... ............. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

[CTR man]

Great Post, I loved these.

They are actually like the i d 10 t rule that my wife keeps telling me about.

[dispatcher]

Tony..most reassuring to know that computer operators & 911 emergency services get the same calls..truly they do! Difference is, a 911 Operator would not stay on the phone so long..but you'd be surprised (perhaps) in the persistance who think 911 is an information service to help them get the phone # of Aunt Mabel living in Idaho..Or do direct call tracing for unwanted calls.. Read below for commentary delved from another source..

[dispatcher]

ust because you see it on TV doesn't mean it happens in real life.

Need some examples, okay here we go.

All the CSI/Police shows on TV lie, we can not and will not trace your cell phone to your exact spot. If you are on a street corner in the middle of no where and you call on your cell and don't know where you are... Deal with it.

If a call comes into your phone with a blocked number it is just that blocked. We don't have some super unscrambling program to track down the number. So don't bother keeping them on the line while we give the thumbs up to the guy in the other room that you've had them on the line long enough to do a trace.

If you have to call 911 and say "it's not a real emergency but," you dialed the wrong number. Try 411 maybe they care, my money's on no, but at least it's not a CRIME to call 411 for no stupid reason.

Civil matters. Let's spend some time in this area. Before you call the police department, the men and woman who deal with criminal matters, ask yourself... "Where in this 26 minute long explanation of my life was there a crime permitted?" Sorry, you're being born...doesn't count. If you can't name me off what penal code has been violated, it's a civil matter. For instance. You like him, he likes you. You decide to shack up. You go buy a big screen flat TV together. You get mad, he gets madder. He wants the TV, you want the TV. Ok, first of all, those of you reading this in Texas take note. Texas is a Community property state. Let me translate, what you bought while you liked him is his, what he bought while he liked you is yours. Either cut the thing in half or go buy a second one. A police officer can not come out and determine who deserves the big screen. Now suppose you want to end all the controversy, he probably would be willing to take the TV off your hands.

Child custody, repeat after me, another Civil Matter. People without kids take note. If you are seeing someone and you only kinda like them, find a lot of things they do annoying, bail them out of jail frequently...these aren't good baby making daddys. That whole Texas community property thing pretty much applies to babies and kids too. The police can't come out and decide who changes diapers better and who should get to raise the kid. Here's a thought. Take a week off the crack pipe and use those funds to get a lawyer, they can get you your kid if that's what you really want.

Public utilities. If you pay someone for something and it breaks, call the number on your bill. Like if your electricity goes out what would possess you to think the police department knows why, how long it will be to fix it, or what caused it. We don't have any secret source of electricity, and if we did we wouldn't share it with you.

Wanted people - if you call and say "I need to see if I have a warrant." Just assume you do. You obviously have a guilty conscious about something. Oh and special note to the wanted people out there, the police department doesn't hire wanted people, they rather frown upon that. If you know you are wanted and they call you for an interview, be leery.

I could go on an on but I'll save that for later. I haven't even dwelved into animal calls yet.

[snuffy2202]

I would love to hire the operator of the last one!LMAO!!

[snuffy2202]

My favorite is the lady who called the Call Center and said her Credit Card was stuck. The operator didn't know what she was talking about until she mentioned the web site told her to enter her credit card. She had jammed it in the a: drive!

[dispatcher]

You're very kind, Snuffy2202..Posted this commentary to reassure Officers that Dispatchers understand much of the nonsense..we're not there physically, but mentally..that's another story. We support & pray for our sworn-to-duty co workers, and wish nothing but the best for them. Because we know what they do, every minute, every hour.. and we're there behind them..keeping watch..looking out for them, too.

[dispatcher]

My favorite is the lady who called the Call Center and said her Credit Card was stuck. The operator didn't know what she was talking about until she mentioned the web site told her to enter her credit card. She had jammed it in the a: drive!

classic!