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  1. #1
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    True Story from Houston Medical Center

    True Story from Houston Medical Center

    A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his
    penis.

    According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girl friend found the
    ring
    in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly
    to
    slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.

    I don't know what's worse:

    1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.

    2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.

    3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.(BEANS)
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  2. #2
    spd110's Avatar
    spd110 is offline 110
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    [IMG][/IMG]

  3. #3
    Norm357's Avatar
    Norm357 is offline Corporal
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    Whats with all the dick posts.
    dlefdal said:
    Ummmm, what if I don't like thumbs in my butt?

  4. #4
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Smart girl.
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  5. #5
    ManImBored is offline Ninja In Training
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    Maybe he has big fingers?
    "Sometimes doing the right thing, is not doing the right thing."

  6. #6
    Terminator's Avatar
    Terminator is offline BANNED
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    Norm, why don't you give us some heterosexual posts to help bring us all back!

  7. #7
    Norm357's Avatar
    Norm357 is offline Corporal
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post
    Norm, why don't you give us some hetersexual posts to help bring us all back!
    A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

    "Mother, where do babies come from?"

    The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex."

    The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey." The child seems to comprehend.

    "Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?"

    "Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry."
    dlefdal said:
    Ummmm, what if I don't like thumbs in my butt?

  8. #8
    Terminator's Avatar
    Terminator is offline BANNED
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    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

  9. #9
    Norm357's Avatar
    Norm357 is offline Corporal
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    Officers.

    The Camel
    A Captain in the foreign legion was transfered to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks. He asked the Sargent leading the tour, "What's the camel for?". The Sargent replied "Well sir it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel." The captain said "Well if it's good for moral, then I guess it's all right with me." After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not stand it any more so he told his Sargent, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!" The sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters. The captain got a foot stool & proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool, and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sargent, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?" The Sargent replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town."
    dlefdal said:
    Ummmm, what if I don't like thumbs in my butt?

  10. #10
    Norm357's Avatar
    Norm357 is offline Corporal
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    Redneck bra.

    dlefdal said:
    Ummmm, what if I don't like thumbs in my butt?

  11. #11
    Norm357's Avatar
    Norm357 is offline Corporal
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    SCORE!!!!!!


    dlefdal said:
    Ummmm, what if I don't like thumbs in my butt?

  12. #12
    Norm357's Avatar
    Norm357 is offline Corporal
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    dlefdal said:
    Ummmm, what if I don't like thumbs in my butt?

  13. #13
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    that guy is lucky he didnt become a bobbit stat
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  14. #14
    Donut Aficionado's Avatar
    Donut Aficionado is offline The Hillbilly Warlord
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    Quote Originally Posted by Norm357 View Post
    A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

    "Mother, where do babies come from?"

    The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex."

    The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey." The child seems to comprehend.

    "Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?"

    "Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry."
    Pearl Necklace, Right?
    Insert witty comment and disclaimer here.

  15. #15
    lynnz05's Avatar
    lynnz05 is offline Corporal
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    Quote Originally Posted by Norm357 View Post
    A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

    "Mother, where do babies come from?"

    The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex."

    The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey." The child seems to comprehend.

    "Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?"

    "Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry."
    LOL I love it!
    What I say is my opinion, not my employers or that of my academic institution.

 

 

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