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Thread: Funny excuses at traffic stops?
07-21-07, 07:13 AM #1
Funny excuses at traffic stops?
What’s the funniest excuse you’ve heard from someone trying to get out of a traffic ticket? What's the funniest excuse you've used?
07-21-07, 07:16 AM #2
07-21-07, 08:06 AM #3
Gee, where do you start. Most are funny at the time, at that moment. But really, they're pretty lame.
07-21-07, 08:10 AM #4
"License plate light? What is that?"
Sadly, that really isn't an excuse because it seems like most people don't know what the hell they are!
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."
-- Ambrose Redmoon
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07-21-07, 07:19 PM #5
07-21-07, 07:29 PM #6
I stopped this guy for speeding once ....he was really flying....I get him stopped and he tells me that he is rushing his wife to the hospital because she is going into labor. There was nobody else in the car. I asked him where his wife was, he turned towards the passenger seat for a second, then turned back towards me with this panicked look on his face and said "OH SHIT". I sent an ambulance to his house and sure enough she was giving birth. He forgot her at home when he ran out of the house. Of all the lies you hear.......one in a million is telling the truth. And people wonder why we are skeptical.September 11, 2001 - All gave some, some gave all. Never forget -- Never forgive.......... RIP Brothers and Sisters.
07-21-07, 09:40 PM #7
I stopped a guy driving an older, kind of beat up Buick station wagon that had very dark tinted windows.
He proceeded to tell me that the law mandated that he have the dark windows. That was a new one on me so I asked him to explain. He said he was a funeral director and that the New York State Public Health Law mandated that when funeral personnel carry human bodies they be shielded from public view.
I told him that's what I assumed caskets were for and then asked him if he actually carried loose bodies in the back of his station wagon and he said "sometimes". That just didn't seem right to me. I asked him if he would mind rolling down his tailgate window for me and he said "no problem". (It's not what you're thinking)
I walked around to the back of the car and looked inside. What did I see? A Hibachi, a 30 lb bag of Kingston charcoal briquets, a folding table, and a fishing pole.
I walked back to him and told him that I would personally be insulted if he carried one of my loved ones remains in the back of his station wagon along with his Hibachi and that he was crazy if he ate anything that came in contact with anything back there. I further told him that I found no justification for the violations and that I believed that there were better ways of complying with the provisions of the PHL. Anyway, I wrote him a few for the windows.
Fast forward a few months and the guy ends up in court - he pled not guilty. I testified and left the description of his cargo last. The judge couldn't believe it and asked me to repeat what he was carrying. She ended up finding him guilty on all counts.
After the hearing she told me "you know, usually I have to wait until the end of the day before I get the one story for the day that I will use in my book - today I got my story early." She then asked me to write down on paper what he had in his car and give it to her. So I did. She just shook her head and walked out of the room.Never have so many owed so much to so few.
07-22-07, 01:11 AM #8
Guy stated he was speeding because he did not have a drivers license. I asked him why would he speed with no license. He said he thought he stood less of a chance of getting pulled over if he drove like everyone else.Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me
We are who we choose to be.
R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012
07-22-07, 01:19 AM #9
wife ran off with a police officer, thought it was you trying to bring her back.
"A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
brought my rifle."
(just stole this one hope you don't mind)
The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
President Ronald Reagan
07-22-07, 01:33 AM #10
Does anybody watch Speeders on Court TV? There are plenty of excuses on that program.
Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.
Not a LEO
In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.
07-22-07, 02:08 AM #11
I was on my first day off after a week of hell overtime and was on a highway I don't often travel on. Traffic was very light that day. Thinking I was on a highway with a slightly higher speed limit, I pull right up on a highway patrol officer thinking, "Why is he driving so slowly?" I immediately have my epiphany and start pulling over even before he lights me up. He walks up to my truck and says hello. I say, "So, you pulled me over today because I was driving with my head up my ass?" He just started laughing and replied, "Well, that's a very good assessment!" He said he'd never had anyone take responsibility so immediately and since I'd made him laugh and wasn't driving recklessly, he'd give me a warning.The true measure of your character is what you choose to do when you think no one is looking.
07-23-07, 05:52 AM #12
4 hours ago, saw male driving without a seatbelt...
crook: "Why are you writing me a ticket? couldn't you let me go with a warning like all the others."
Searching for Evil and the Perfect donut (Love that book)
"It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you"
There are gains for all our losses
There are balms for all our pain
But, when youth, the dream, departs
It takes something from our hearts
And it never comes again
"Captain, it is I Ensign Pulver. I just threw your damn palm tree overboard. Now, what's all this crap about no movie tonight?" -Ens Pulver in Mister Roberts
The man who will go where his colors go, without asking who will fight a phantom foe in the jungle and mountain range, without counting, and who will suffer and die in the midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the stuff of which legions are made. ...His pride is in his colors and his regiment, his training hard and thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he must face...and his obedience is to his orders. He has been called United State Marine.
T.R. Fehrenbach, This Kind of War
07-23-07, 08:14 AM #13PATROL DEPUTY
- Join Date
- SOUTH TEXAS
- Rep Power
Speeding guy said "I suffer from ED, and I just popped a chubby so I'm trying to get home as fast as I can before it goes away".
07-23-07, 08:14 AM #14PATROL DEPUTY
- Join Date
- SOUTH TEXAS
- Rep Power
07-23-07, 09:58 AM #15
Stopped a guy 68 in a 45. First clocked him at 65 and locked on 68. He said he thought he had a flat tire. I'm still trying to figure that one out.
07-23-07, 10:37 AM #16
A friend of mine stopped a guy doing 85 on the Interstate. His excuse was that he just went through the carwash and was trying to dry off the car.
07-23-07, 11:44 AM #17Just because your sign off after you're shift is done, doesn't mean that it's over and put blinders on. You're a cop 24/7 wether you like it or not. If thats something you can't handle, you should find a new line of work!
07-23-07, 05:18 PM #18
I don't get excuses because I never ask them if they know why I stopped them. I don't ask them why they're going that fast. I tell them I stopped them for X speed in an X mph zone.The views expressed in the above post are the sole opinion of the author and do not reflect any official position by the author's employer and/or municipality.
07-23-07, 05:28 PM #19\\` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
`` ` ` ` (3--(____)
"...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
07-23-07, 05:55 PM #20
I ask normal investigatory questions, but most people I stop are from out of town and are speeding to pick someone up from the airport.The views expressed in the above post are the sole opinion of the author and do not reflect any official position by the author's employer and/or municipality.
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