Funny excuses at traffic stops?

**Jenna** · 07-21-07, 06:13 AM

What’s the funniest excuse you’ve heard from someone trying to get out of a traffic ticket? What's the funniest excuse you've used?

**Terminator** · 07-21-07, 06:16 AM

Originally Posted by Jenna

What’s the funniest excuse you’ve heard from someone trying to get out of a traffic ticket? What's the funniest excuse you've used?

"Jenna" is following me, and I was only speeding to get away from her, so her liberal agenda would not rub off on me.

Really, I've heard most all of them, but never needed an excuse myself for being stopped.

**Tony** · 07-21-07, 07:06 AM

Gee, where do you start. Most are funny at the time, at that moment. But really, they're pretty lame.

**nsb22** · 07-21-07, 07:10 AM

"License plate light? What is that?"

Sadly, that really isn't an excuse because it seems like most people don't know what the hell they are!

**Jenna** · 07-21-07, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by Terminator

"Jenna" is following me, and I was only speeding to get away from her, so her liberal agenda would not rub off on me.

I don't have a car, so there's no need to speed to get away from me.

**So Fla Cop** · 07-21-07, 06:29 PM

I stopped this guy for speeding once ....he was really flying....I get him stopped and he tells me that he is rushing his wife to the hospital because she is going into labor. There was nobody else in the car. I asked him where his wife was, he turned towards the passenger seat for a second, then turned back towards me with this panicked look on his face and said "OH SHIT". I sent an ambulance to his house and sure enough she was giving birth. He forgot her at home when he ran out of the house. Of all the lies you hear.......one in a million is telling the truth. And people wonder why we are skeptical.

**Claude Baulz** · 07-21-07, 08:40 PM

I stopped a guy driving an older, kind of beat up Buick station wagon that had very dark tinted windows.

He proceeded to tell me that the law mandated that he have the dark windows. That was a new one on me so I asked him to explain. He said he was a funeral director and that the New York State Public Health Law mandated that when funeral personnel carry human bodies they be shielded from public view.

I told him that's what I assumed caskets were for and then asked him if he actually carried loose bodies in the back of his station wagon and he said "sometimes". That just didn't seem right to me. I asked him if he would mind rolling down his tailgate window for me and he said "no problem". (It's not what you're thinking)

I walked around to the back of the car and looked inside. What did I see? A Hibachi, a 30 lb bag of Kingston charcoal briquets, a folding table, and a fishing pole.

I walked back to him and told him that I would personally be insulted if he carried one of my loved ones remains in the back of his station wagon along with his Hibachi and that he was crazy if he ate anything that came in contact with anything back there. I further told him that I found no justification for the violations and that I believed that there were better ways of complying with the provisions of the PHL. Anyway, I wrote him a few for the windows.

Fast forward a few months and the guy ends up in court - he pled not guilty. I testified and left the description of his cargo last. The judge couldn't believe it and asked me to repeat what he was carrying. She ended up finding him guilty on all counts.

After the hearing she told me "you know, usually I have to wait until the end of the day before I get the one story for the day that I will use in my book - today I got my story early." She then asked me to write down on paper what he had in his car and give it to her. So I did. She just shook her head and walked out of the room.

**lewisipso** · 07-22-07, 12:11 AM

Guy stated he was speeding because he did not have a drivers license. I asked him why would he speed with no license. He said he thought he stood less of a chance of getting pulled over if he drove like everyone else.

**JLK** · 07-22-07, 12:19 AM

wife ran off with a police officer, thought it was you trying to bring her back.

**CTR man** · 07-22-07, 12:33 AM

Does anybody watch Speeders on Court TV? There are plenty of excuses on that program.

**adroitcuffs** · 07-22-07, 01:08 AM

I was on my first day off after a week of hell overtime and was on a highway I don't often travel on. Traffic was very light that day. Thinking I was on a highway with a slightly higher speed limit, I pull right up on a highway patrol officer thinking, "Why is he driving so slowly?" I immediately have my epiphany and start pulling over even before he lights me up. He walks up to my truck and says hello. I say, "So, you pulled me over today because I was driving with my head up my ass?" He just started laughing and replied, "Well, that's a very good assessment!" He said he'd never had anyone take responsibility so immediately and since I'd made him laugh and wasn't driving recklessly, he'd give me a warning.

**pc830cop** · 07-23-07, 04:52 AM

4 hours ago, saw male driving without a seatbelt...

crook: "Why are you writing me a ticket? couldn't you let me go with a warning like all the others."

**bmf95b** · 07-23-07, 07:14 AM

Speeding guy said "I suffer from ED, and I just popped a chubby so I'm trying to get home as fast as I can before it goes away".

**bmf95b** · 07-23-07, 07:14 AM

WTF....

**TXPO710** · 07-23-07, 08:58 AM

Stopped a guy 68 in a 45. First clocked him at 65 and locked on 68. He said he thought he had a flat tire.

I'm still trying to figure that one out.

**snuffy2202** · 07-23-07, 09:37 AM

A friend of mine stopped a guy doing 85 on the Interstate. His excuse was that he just went through the carwash and was trying to dry off the car.

**Sapper_132** · 07-23-07, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by TXPO710

Stopped a guy 68 in a 45. First clocked him at 65 and locked on 68. He said he thought he had a flat tire.

I'm still trying to figure that one out.

If you get a flat (Rear wheel) and keep the speed up it won't deflate as fast and you can sometimes make it to the next town.

Originally Posted by snuffy2202

A friend of mine stopped a guy doing 85 on the Interstate. His excuse was that he just went through the carwash and was trying to dry off the car.

I do that with my car after I get it washed. It works pretty good!

**gopherpuckfan** · 07-23-07, 04:18 PM

I don't get excuses because I never ask them if they know why I stopped them. I don't ask them why they're going that fast. I tell them I stopped them for X speed in an X mph zone.

**Ducky** · 07-23-07, 04:28 PM

Originally Posted by gopherpuckfan

I don't get excuses because I never ask them if they know why I stopped them. I don't ask them why they're going that fast. I tell them I stopped them for X speed in an X mph zone.

Might want to start asking, you never know what they might confess to.