Accident Report Supplement

[PapaBear]

This is a supplement to a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.


Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building in the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain at approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.

Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

[ICE35]

No worries mate...

[PeterJasonMN]

Someone didn't watch Mythbusters.

[jcsdscott]

I am utterly speechless

[jmur5074]

Well that sure sucks....


anyone care to snopes this???

[Trojan 42]

That was a monologue that was used by a radio personality back in the 50/60's. Can't remember the guys name but he was a war time comic. So the story is not true, just a modern rehash of an old classic.

[Buttercup]

Well that sure sucks....


anyone care to snopes this???

For you, jmur, of course.


http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/bricks.asp

[Trojan 42]

For you, jmur, of course.

Buttercup, he'll never learn if you do everything for him, now will he?

[Buttercup]

Buttercup, he'll never learn if you do everything for him, now will he?

I know.

[PeterJasonMN]

When Mythbusters did this they used the normal barrel they'd used for hauling bricks up. To get the barrel to break they had to bust all the safety bands off. And even then they were still pretty tough.

[Ducky]

Untrue, I know, but still funny as hell.

[Illiy]

+1 Ducky...

[mack]

I know it isn't true but come on this is funny!!!

[PapaBear]

I know it isn't true but come on this is funny!!!

Some people are unable to envision something written down and are, therefore, disassociated with the humor in a piece. And, as you say, it is, IMHO, extremely funny - true or not!

[armsmaster270]

I don't care if its true or not I'm sitting here with a sore gut and tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard.and my daughter said she wet herself.