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  1. #1
    PapaBear's Avatar
    PapaBear is offline SgtCHP-Retired
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    Southern Women..........

    ----- Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
    Clean skin.
    A winning smile.
    That unforgettable Southern drawl.

    Southern women know their manners:
    "Yes, ma'am."
    "Yes, sir."
    "Why, no, Billy!"

    Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
    "Y'all come back!"
    "Well, bless your heart."
    "Drop by when you can."
    "How's yo Momma?"


    Southern women know their summer weather report:
    Humidity
    Humidity
    Humidity

    Southern women know their vacation spots:
    The beach
    The rivuh
    The crick

    Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
    Colorful hi-heel sandals
    Strapless sun dresses
    Iced sweet tea with lemon

    Southern women know everybody's first name:
    Honey
    Darlin'
    Shugah

    Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
    Fried Green Tomatoes
    Driving Miss Daisy
    Steel Magnolias
    Gone With The Wind

    Southern women know their religions:
    Baptist
    Methodist
    Football

    Southern women know their country breakfasts:
    Red-eye gravy
    Grits
    Eggs
    Country ham
    Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

    Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
    Chawl'stn
    S'vanah
    Foat Wuth
    N'awlins
    Addlanna

    Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
    Men in uniform.
    Men in tuxedos
    Rhett Butler

    Southern girls know their prime real estate:
    The Mall
    The Country Club
    The Spa

    Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
    Having bad hair and nails
    Having bad manners
    Cooking bad food
    Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.
    [George Washington (1732 - 1799)]


  2. #2
    PapaBear's Avatar
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    More On Southern Women

    Only a Southern girl knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
    _____

    Only a Southern girl knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
    _____

    Only a Southern girl can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
    _____

    Only a Southern girl knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
    _____

    Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
    _____

    All Southern girls know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
    _____

    Only a Southern girl knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
    _____

    Only Southern girls grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
    _____

    Only a Southern girl both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
    _____

    No true Southern girl would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
    _____

    A Southern girl knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun , a verb or an adverb.
    _____

    Only Southern women make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
    _____

    Put 100 Southern women in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
    _____

    In the South y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
    _____

    Southern girls know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
    _____

    Every Southern woman knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
    _____

    When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southern girl!
    ___ __
    Only true Southern girls say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
    _____

    And a true Southern girl knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
    _____

    To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
    _____
    And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
    _____

    And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

    Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!

    Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!

    If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.

    God Bless You
    Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.
    [George Washington (1732 - 1799)]


  3. #3
    AlDeputy's Avatar
    AlDeputy is offline Master Officer
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    One difference between northern girls and southern girls is:

    Northern girls say "Yes, you can"

    Southern Girls say "Y'all can"
    But you're a deputy, you can't give me a ticket!

    Yea Ok, sign here and press hard there are 4 copies!

  4. #4
    213th's Avatar
    213th is offline Solipsist
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    Southern....as in Florida, right?
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  5. #5
    Hannah87's Avatar
    Hannah87 is offline Giggidy... Giggidy..
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    Quote Originally Posted by 213th View Post
    Southern....as in Florida, right?
    more than likely Texas my dear.
    May you rest in peace Daddy and may you never hurt again. I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you again.

    12/12/44- 2/26/09

  6. #6
    213th's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hannah87 View Post
    more than likely Texas my dear.
    oh...or Arizona. Thats south. Course...all of you are southern's to me anyway
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  7. #7
    SaraJ is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by 213th View Post
    oh...or Arizona. Thats south. Course...all of you are southern's to me anyway

    No, honey child, no way is Arizona REAL south.

  8. #8
    Ducky's Avatar
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    I'm guilty of so many of those it's not even funny, with the notable exception of some of the words, the most notable exception being 'y'all." For some reason, that one never managed to creep into my vocabulary.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


 

 

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