I really am a shit magnet!!!

**OXCOPS** · 11-22-07, 11:16 AM

Just into my third week at the new gig, and just last night, I received my first assault!

Well, this is the first time at this job, but not the first time on the job.

I had been dealing with an extremely drunk, and high, intake. At one point, he spit on my uniform shirt. This, among other things, earned him the right to wear shackles, soft restraints and a helmet with face shield. Well, a couple of hours later, I was escorting him back to the cell from the bathroom, when he acted like he was falling over. Since he was in restraints, I leaned in to catch him. When I did, he threw his head over and headbutted me with the helmet. He caught me in the nose, causing four SMALL cuts (two on my forehead, two on the bridge of my nose).

After he was "escorted to the floor while restrained", he started laughing and asked, "That shit hurt?" He got really pissed when I told him that if that was all he had, I was going to process him into the female pod because he hit like a bitch.

It wouldn't have been funny if it was the first time it, but I guess I still have the ability to laugh it off.

At any rate, he is old enough to be tried as an adult, and we charged him with two counts of Agg Assault on a Court Official, so I am going to call the DA on Friday to encourage them to send him to the big leagues.

At least I got a couple of hours OT out of the deal.

**Hannah87** · 11-22-07, 11:25 AM

eh! ha! sorry bout the cuts. funny story tho, kinda.

**OXCOPS** · 11-22-07, 11:31 AM

This all happened about 2 minutes after I told the other guy with me that this turd seems to get all worked up when he sees me. He decided to fixate on me, and I became the target of his ramblings.

I was informed.....alot.....that I am a "fuckin' cracker".

The other guy, who has dealt with this kid many times, replied that this kid *NEVER* gives the staff any problems. Uh....pardon me while I go outside and hoist the Bullshit Flag above the building.

**k-9max** · 11-22-07, 11:38 AM

That doesnt earn you the right to call yourself a shit magnet.
You have to do better then that bro. I want some horror stories, then i will consider the shit magnet tag!

**Star Man** · 11-22-07, 11:40 AM

Originally Posted by OXCOPS

I was informed.....alot.....that I am a "fuckin' cracker".

Should charge him with a hate crime......

Never mind, Sharpton's too busy screwing with the cops to help one out...

Never mind....

**OXCOPS** · 11-22-07, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by k-9max

That doesnt earn you the right to call yourself a shit magnet.
You have to do better then that bro. I want some horror stories, then i will consider the shit magnet tag!

I worked as a po-po for 9 years before moving out here to AZ. When I first started, I would team up with another LEO and ride with him (if we were slow). Just about every single time I did, the shit would hit the fan. I would see something worth taking a closer look at. When we did, it would break loose.

One common example would be a traffic stop for something stupid like expired tags. The driver would be suspended, have warrants and a couple of pissed off buddies in the back (also with paper). None wanted to go to jail, to the fight was on. I was blamed as the reason one guy had three uniform shirts destroyed in a single month. Claimed nothing ever happened when I wasn't with him.

**conalabu** · 11-22-07, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by k-9max

That doesnt earn you the right to call yourself a shit magnet.
You have to do better then that bro. I want some horror stories, then i will consider the shit magnet tag!

Repeatedly. I know an officer from the next town over that can pull a car over and end up with two felony warrants, a stolen car, and a kilo of coke. This guy started working part time for a micro town and on his first night got two DWI's in one night. The town hasn't had an officer arrest for DWI in over two years. Same guy got breakfast at McD's and ended up pulling over a stolen car with a missing juvenile in it. The two were not connected. And that is just the start of his issues.

**OXCOPS** · 11-22-07, 11:50 AM

Working in a college town, we had alot of house parties in quiet neighborhoods. It never failed that when I would pull up to one of these, someone would want to fight for their right to paaaaaaaaarrrr---tay!

Of course, when you get one guy in custody, it pissed off a dozen of his buddies. It got to the point that when I got a call for a loud party, about half the shift would start heading that way also, because they knew my luck with them.

**Ender** · 11-22-07, 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by OXCOPS

I was informed.....alot.....that I am a "fuckin' cracker".

well, to be completely fair, i haven't met anybody who meets the definition of 'cracker,' more than you do.

and look at it this way....you won, and you both know it

**OXCOPS** · 11-22-07, 02:29 PM

I guess the ultimate proof that I am a shit magnet...

I attract friends like Ender.

**Hannah87** · 11-22-07, 04:54 PM

Originally Posted by OXCOPS

I was informed.....alot.....that I am a "fuckin' cracker".

Oh the things I can look forward to............................ .

**jmur5074** · 11-22-07, 04:56 PM

Originally Posted by k-9max

That doesnt earn you the right to call yourself a shit magnet.
You have to do better then that bro. I want some horror stories, then i will consider the shit magnet tag!

Even better, you should submit your info to get access to the super secret C/O section.

Get verified.