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  1. #1
    OXCOPS's Avatar
    OXCOPS is offline Usual Suspect
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    I really am a shit magnet!!!

    Just into my third week at the new gig, and just last night, I received my first assault! Well, this is the first time at this job, but not the first time on the job.

    I had been dealing with an extremely drunk, and high, intake. At one point, he spit on my uniform shirt. This, among other things, earned him the right to wear shackles, soft restraints and a helmet with face shield. Well, a couple of hours later, I was escorting him back to the cell from the bathroom, when he acted like he was falling over. Since he was in restraints, I leaned in to catch him. When I did, he threw his head over and headbutted me with the helmet. He caught me in the nose, causing four SMALL cuts (two on my forehead, two on the bridge of my nose).

    After he was "escorted to the floor while restrained", he started laughing and asked, "That shit hurt?" He got really pissed when I told him that if that was all he had, I was going to process him into the female pod because he hit like a bitch.

    It wouldn't have been funny if it was the first time it, but I guess I still have the ability to laugh it off.

    At any rate, he is old enough to be tried as an adult, and we charged him with two counts of Agg Assault on a Court Official, so I am going to call the DA on Friday to encourage them to send him to the big leagues.

    At least I got a couple of hours OT out of the deal.

  2. #2
    Hannah87's Avatar
    Hannah87 is offline Giggidy... Giggidy..
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    eh! ha! sorry bout the cuts. funny story tho, kinda.
    May you rest in peace Daddy and may you never hurt again. I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you again.

    12/12/44- 2/26/09

  3. #3
    OXCOPS's Avatar
    OXCOPS is offline Usual Suspect
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    This all happened about 2 minutes after I told the other guy with me that this turd seems to get all worked up when he sees me. He decided to fixate on me, and I became the target of his ramblings.

    I was informed.....alot.....that I am a "fuckin' cracker".

    The other guy, who has dealt with this kid many times, replied that this kid *NEVER* gives the staff any problems. Uh....pardon me while I go outside and hoist the Bullshit Flag above the building.

  4. #4
    k-9max's Avatar
    k-9max is offline K9 Officer
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    That doesnt earn you the right to call yourself a shit magnet.
    You have to do better then that bro. I want some horror stories, then i will consider the shit magnet tag!
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked, Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  5. #5
    Star Man's Avatar
    Star Man is offline Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians
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    Quote Originally Posted by OXCOPS View Post

    I was informed.....alot.....that I am a "fuckin' cracker".
    Should charge him with a hate crime......

    Never mind, Sharpton's too busy screwing with the cops to help one out...

    Never mind....

  6. #6
    OXCOPS's Avatar
    OXCOPS is offline Usual Suspect
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    Quote Originally Posted by k-9max View Post
    That doesnt earn you the right to call yourself a shit magnet.
    You have to do better then that bro. I want some horror stories, then i will consider the shit magnet tag!
    I worked as a po-po for 9 years before moving out here to AZ. When I first started, I would team up with another LEO and ride with him (if we were slow). Just about every single time I did, the shit would hit the fan. I would see something worth taking a closer look at. When we did, it would break loose.

    One common example would be a traffic stop for something stupid like expired tags. The driver would be suspended, have warrants and a couple of pissed off buddies in the back (also with paper). None wanted to go to jail, to the fight was on. I was blamed as the reason one guy had three uniform shirts destroyed in a single month. Claimed nothing ever happened when I wasn't with him.

  7. #7
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Quote Originally Posted by k-9max View Post
    That doesnt earn you the right to call yourself a shit magnet.
    You have to do better then that bro. I want some horror stories, then i will consider the shit magnet tag!

    Repeatedly. I know an officer from the next town over that can pull a car over and end up with two felony warrants, a stolen car, and a kilo of coke. This guy started working part time for a micro town and on his first night got two DWI's in one night. The town hasn't had an officer arrest for DWI in over two years. Same guy got breakfast at McD's and ended up pulling over a stolen car with a missing juvenile in it. The two were not connected. And that is just the start of his issues.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  8. #8
    OXCOPS's Avatar
    OXCOPS is offline Usual Suspect
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    Working in a college town, we had alot of house parties in quiet neighborhoods. It never failed that when I would pull up to one of these, someone would want to fight for their right to paaaaaaaaarrrr---tay!

    Of course, when you get one guy in custody, it pissed off a dozen of his buddies. It got to the point that when I got a call for a loud party, about half the shift would start heading that way also, because they knew my luck with them.

  9. #9
    Ender's Avatar
    Ender is offline Three Sheets...
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    Quote Originally Posted by OXCOPS View Post
    I was informed.....alot.....that I am a "fuckin' cracker".
    well, to be completely fair, i haven't met anybody who meets the definition of 'cracker,' more than you do.

    and look at it this way....you won, and you both know it

  10. #10
    OXCOPS's Avatar
    OXCOPS is offline Usual Suspect
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    I guess the ultimate proof that I am a shit magnet...


    I attract friends like Ender.

  11. #11
    Hannah87's Avatar
    Hannah87 is offline Giggidy... Giggidy..
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    Quote Originally Posted by OXCOPS View Post
    I was informed.....alot.....that I am a "fuckin' cracker".
    Oh the things I can look forward to............................ .
    May you rest in peace Daddy and may you never hurt again. I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you again.

    12/12/44- 2/26/09

  12. #12
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by k-9max View Post
    That doesnt earn you the right to call yourself a shit magnet.
    You have to do better then that bro. I want some horror stories, then i will consider the shit magnet tag!
    Even better, you should submit your info to get access to the super secret C/O section.

    Get verified.
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  13. #13
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Quote Originally Posted by jmur5074 View Post
    Even better, you should submit your info to get access to the super secret C/O section.

    Get verified.

    In progress, Jmur.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  14. #14
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu View Post
    In progress, Jmur.
    Sweet.
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  15. #15
    OXCOPS's Avatar
    OXCOPS is offline Usual Suspect
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    Quote Originally Posted by jmur5074 View Post
    Sweet.





 

 

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