Rules for Law Enforcement...

[Illiy]

Taken from a myspace friend...

RULES FOR LAW ENFORCEMENT

No patrol car assigned to you will be clean and never have a full tank of gas.

New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy stains

Court will be scheduled in the middle of your days off.

Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of your shift.

You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.

Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.

Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".

Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.


To error is human, to forgive is against department policy.

You will remain in perfect health until your days off.

Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.

The oldest squad car won't be retired. It will be assigned to you.

Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.

Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.

Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.

Bullet proof vests might be.

Your portable radio will never fail until you are involved in a foot pursuit.

Vehicle pursuits always progress from areas of low traffic density to high traffic density.

Your pen will only run out of ink when you are ready to write a ticket.

NCIC will be down anytime you see a car listed on a hot sheet.

You will never get a bomb threat call until the squad is away on training.

Word processors only delete reports when they are nearly done.

Your bullet proof vest was supplied by the lowest bidder.

In a physical confrontation involving more than one officer, any impact weapon used will strike cops more times than crooks.

Do unto others, but do it first.

You will be called into work on your day off when your family has planned a party at the lake.

Your squad car will only break down when you are outside your beat.

Waterproof boots aren't.

You will only be stopped for speeding off duty when you have forgotten your badge and DL

There will be no parking spaces around the court house when you are running late to appear.

You are ALWAYS downwind from pepper spray.

You will only be subpoenaed to court at 0900 hrs in the morning after working an 18 hour day.

To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible!

Anyone that flirts with you on-duty won't even recognize you off-duty.

No one's idea is a good idea until it becomes another's idea...usually the Chief's

On the nights where you have to go grocery shopping in uniform, you will get pissed on by a drunk.

You always have a big use of force on your Friday before your vacation.

If your raid is going well, you're at the wrong house

The one time you cuss on the radio, your chief will be listening

You will only roll through a stop sign when your Chief is sitting at the other side of the intersection

The day you let your girlfriend ride out with you, your wife comes by the station to visit.

Court will be canceled only after you have changed all your plans to be there.

When closing the Sally Port door, if a fellow officers car is under it pushing the stop button will only slow it down.

Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Anything that you do can get you shot - including doing nothing!

The first sip from the first coffee of your shift always triggers the dispatcher to send you on a call usually an emergency or something that will cause the coffee to go cold before you can return to it

[Terminator]

That list was too long to read, but I disagree with the first one. I have my own assigned patrol car, and if it's dirty and without gas it's always my fault. Just ask my supervisor. I'm the cause of a recent department memo on patrol vehicles.

[Resident Smart Ass]

List isway too long..I only read the last one,,,coffee is very important...calls can wait

[Illiy]

That list was too long to read, but I disagree with the first one. I have my own assigned patrol car, and if it's dirty and without gas it's always my fault. Just ask my supervisor. I'm the cause of a recent department memo on patrol vehicles.

Wow... what a luxury...there aren't many departments out here that have take home cars... (with the obvious exceptions)

[Resident Smart Ass]

(with the obvious exceptions)

any they are...

[Illiy]

any they are...

K-9's
Motor's
and some detectives

Don't start picking on me i'm

[Resident Smart Ass]

K-9's
Motor's
and some detectives

motor's?

[adroitcuffs]

That list was too long to read, but I disagree with the first one. I have my own assigned patrol car, and if it's dirty and without gas it's always my fault. Just ask my supervisor. I'm the cause of a recent department memo on patrol vehicles.

LOL, so typical that such memos and/or policies are reactions to what officers have done! I've often been the one to say, "This policy/memo/reminder has been brought to you by another adroitcuffs moment."

[AlDeputy]

All our regular Deputies have take home cars.

[cntryboy0531]

All our regular Deputies have take home cars.

So do we. With full personal use in county.

[cntryboy0531]

LOL, so typical that such memos and/or policies are reactions to what officers have done! I've often been the one to say, "This policy/memo/reminder has been brought to you by another adroitcuffs moment."

So far I've been the cause of 3 shift training sessions this year.

One of which was "Stop sticking motorcycles, AND WHY YOU SHOULDN'T FUCKING DO IT!!!"