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Thread: A cute one

  1. #1
    Car 4's Avatar
    Car 4 is offline CID Chief
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    A cute one

    A Few Things the Police Would like You to know



    Your 5 year old kid getting pushed down by another 5 year old kid is NOT
    a police matter; talk to the other kid's parents, not the police.

    If your kid won't do his homework or do his chores, 911 is not the answer.

    If a cop causes a car accident we usually get a ticket, and sometimes we
    get suspended. When is the last time you got 3 days off (without pay)
    for rear-ending a guy at Wal-Mart?

    We know you've had more than two beers. When I've had two beers, I
    didn't hit six parked cars, drive my car through the front doors of a
    Toys-R-Us, pee my pants or pass out at a traffic light.

    When you see an emergency vehicle behind you with its lights and sirens
    on, pull to the RIGHT, and stop. We are usually required to pass cars on
    the left.

    When you're driving in the fast lane and you see a cop behind you, don't
    go 5 MPH under the speed limit. We are not impressed by how safe of a
    driver you can be, we're trying to go help someone (or catch that guy in the
    SUV that just cut you off). Safely move over and let us pass please.

    If we park our cruiser across the road with lights flashing, don't ask
    if the road is closed or if there is an accident, just take an alternate
    route and DON'T DRIVE AROUND US!

    If you get a warning instead of a ticket from a motorcycle cop, go buy a
    Lottery ticket, because you've already beaten the odds.

    When you see an officer conducting a traffic stop, or with a suspect in
    handcuffs, it is generally not a good idea to approach him and ask for
    directions. If you do, don't expect the officer to be nice when he tells
    you to get lost, and don't expect the officer to take the time to explain.

    Here's how to get out of a ticket. Don't break the law.

    If you drive a piece of crap, that is why you're getting pulled over.

    In one week I pulled over 10 cars for minor traffic violations. 5 out of
    10 had no vehicle insurance. 3 out of 10 had suspended driver's
    licenses. 2 out of 10 had warrants. 1 out of 10 had felony warrants. 1
    was a known sex offender with his 12 year old niece in the car without
    her mother’s knowledge.

    If you've just been pulled over doing 70 in a 35, do not greet the
    officer with, "What seems to be the problem, officer?"

    We get coffee breaks too.

    When you're the victim of a burglary, take the time you spend waiting
    for the officer to find the model number and the serial number of the
    stuff that was taken.

    Some cops are just jerks, but take heart in the fact that other cops
    don’t like them either.

    If its night time and you're driving a vehicle with tinted windows and
    I pull you over, it's not because of your skin color. I usually can't
    tell if the vehicle even has a driver until the windows roll down.

    Every time you hear on the news about people running away from a crazed
    gunman, someone's son or daughter in a police uniform is running TOWARD
    that crazed gunman.

    Yes, it's true; cops usually don't give other cops tickets. Think of it
    as an employee discount, perk or benefit. Other cops are family and you
    wouldn’t give your brother a ticket if you were a cop either.

    If your local police agency has a helicopter, everyone knows it's loud
    and annoying, but did you know it can cover the same area as 20 patrol
    officers and safely chase criminals that are driving 90 MPH through city
    streets. Many times the guy has no idea it's there and slows down.

    Police work is.... writing reports.

    If you rob a gas station you're only going to get about $100, but I get
    to see a K9 dog use your arm as a chew toy. For all I care you can keep
    the $100.

    In one year of patrol work in a large city, only about ten minutes would
    be cool enough to be on the television show Cops.

    Every traffic stop could end in gunfire, but we have to be polite and
    professional until that time.

    I've taken about the same amount of men and women to jail for domestic
    violence, so NO, it's not always the man.

    If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

    Cops know you pay taxes and that your taxes pay cops' salaries.

    Cops also pay taxes, which also pay cops' salaries so, hey; this traffic
    stop is on me. Now sign here; press hard. There are several copies.

    Police Officers... Our job is to protect your butt, not kiss it!

    Thank You,
    the Police
    I would like my country back. I used to believe that one man could never destroy this country. Not so sure anymore!

  2. #2
    countybear's Avatar
    countybear is offline BDRT - Baby Daddy Removal Team
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    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  3. #3
    Wolven's Avatar
    Wolven is offline Major
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    Amen to that!
    Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr

  4. #4
    Terminator's Avatar
    Terminator is offline BANNED
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    Good post.

  5. #5
    Twan007's Avatar
    Twan007 is offline The People
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    love it gonna have to post that in the squad room at the PD
    -=Twan007


    Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

    Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.





    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in alignment with his employer. Matter of fact, the poster will deny any knowledge of any post... this message will self-destruct in 5 seconds...

  6. #6
    armsmaster270's Avatar
    armsmaster270 is offline Ret. Sac. P.D. - 270th M.P. Co., Now with D.H.S.
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    thats a keeper


    Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. --Al Bundy

    http://www.armsmaster.net-a.googlepages.com

  7. #7
    Bob Loblaw's Avatar
    Bob Loblaw is offline Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
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    Wish I woulda read that before work tonight...I coulda used at least 3 of those to really zing some douchebags.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna
    he (Obama) doesn't have a birth certificate because he wasn't born, he was created in a Muslim witch's cauldron!
    Quote Originally Posted by Buttercup View Post
    I must admit, there have been few pieces of meat I've ever jammed into my mouth that have been as satisfying as Bob's.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gecko45 "The Mall Ninja"
    Vietnam still shudders when it hears the name of a an assasin so skillful and deadly, he is remembered decades later
    Reca is the best thing since sliced bread!

 

 

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