Know any criminals with loving parents who tried to teach them good ethical values?

[Jenna]

Do you know of any criminals who had loving parents who tried to teach them good ethical values? Are there parents who do everything right but still end up with kids who turn into criminals despite their parents' best efforts to raise them well?

I thought of this question because of the thread on youth violence, http://www.lawenforcementforums.com/...ad.php?t=23028, and especially this:

Teach a kid respect and show them love, you have a future taxpayer. Reject them or buy them off or abuse them, you just created the next generation of criminal.

Is this always true?

[Terminator]

Is this always true?

I don't think it's always true, but it greatly increases the chances. Ultimately, a grown adult is going to make their own individual choices which they must be held accountable for. I have seen a few loving home environments where the kids turned out to be shitbags.

[adroitcuffs]

I don't think it's always true, but it greatly increases the chances. Ultimately, a grown adult is going to make their own individual choices which they must be held accountable for. I have seen a few loving home environments where the kids turned out to be shitbags.

Agreed!

[kjlaw]

I agree that the home live does not always predict the future of a child you can have great parents and the kid become a shithead and also have shitheads for parents and the kid come out great.

I do believe that the majority of shitheads come from f-ed up homes though.

[Jks9199]

I don't think it's always true, but it greatly increases the chances. Ultimately, a grown adult is going to make their own individual choices which they must be held accountable for. I have seen a few loving home environments where the kids turned out to be shitbags.

Every once in a while, you get a shitbag that there's just no reason. Mommy & Daddy actually tried to raise him; he had "everything", and he just chose to reject it all. Just like we get people from families where you expect that the best hope for minimal negative impact on society is to lock 'em up at 18 years and one day, who turn out to be ideal citizens.

But, generally, if you look at parental involvement and discipline of kids... You can predict with pretty good accuracy which side the kid'll end up on.

[Bob Loblaw]

It's sometimes really easy to tell which homes are "super fucked up," but it's really really hard to tell which ones raise their kids right. So much of child rearing happens behind the scenes and can be pretty subtle, so from my little 10-15 minutes here and there, it's hard to tell if mom and dad are trying to raise their kid right and junior is just a piece of shit or if mom and dad look to the outside world like they're doing their kids well, but in reality are fucking with their heads.

[Bob Loblaw]

So much of child rearing happens behind the scenes and can be pretty subtle

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess I need to double-proofread what I post! I'm a sick bastard!

[Beans]

I never get to know them well enough if they had loving parents. Frankley, I don't care if they did or not.

[Probation13-901]

The Parents that I can't stand are the ones that don't make there kids take responsibility for there actions. They will tell there kid "The Cop's have nothing better to do" and "that Probation Officer is just out to get you". never making the Child take responsibility for there Kid doing illegal acts.

[hush29]

I agree for the most part that if they come from a good home, there is a better chance they will succeed in life. But, some kids have everything, some of them are spoiled beyond belief and have had everything handed to them. So when they get into the real world and have to work for what they have, they don't succeed.

[JLK]

I agree with most of the above post except the child rearing that's just sick. that is why I believe in abortion in the teenage years.

[OXCOPS]

I work in a juvenile detentions facility. The VAST majority of our kids come from a broken home, or where the parents are not parenting. There is only a couple of kids that comes to mind that has parents who care. Of course, those are the kids that are doing well in the facility, get along with staff and generally give us no problems.

[MacLean]

As has been said, it's a matter of odds.

Is it possible? Sure.

Much less likely, however.

[Rhino]

Jenna,

Your question is almost impossible to answer. At least for me. Because I'm not with those parents every hour of every day. The only frame of reference I can give you is my own childhood.

My mom would spank when I misbehave. My dad would borderline beat the shit out of me when I did something really stupid. And although I'm probably far from normal, I think I turned out relatively okay.

Sure a lot of parents, when I'm dealing with juvenile criminals, talk a good game. But even more parents, when they call me because they can't control their child, scoff when I offer them ways to discipline their child.

I tell them about taking away their TV, Video games, stereo, waterbed, Name-brand clothes, and their cell phone- and if that doesn't work, take their bedroom door off the hinges.

A good many of them look at me like I'm crazy. Many of them also try and tell them they already tried that (often while I'm standing in the kid's bedroom that has more and better toys than my own!) So, I don't believe they have tried.

But I believe a disciplined child (which is a well-behaved one) starts very early. You can't teach discipline to a unruly 16 year old that doesn't respect you. You just can't.

So it needs to start early. I know this because I've seen it. My nephew's parents raise him with constant attention and care. Even though he was only 2, they would explain to him why he could or could not do something. When he cried or fussed, they talked to him and encouraged him to use his words. When they threatened him with punishment if he did something he wasn't supposed to do, they carried out that punishement just as they promised.

And I can tell you with no bias (okay, maybe a little bias) that is the most well behaved young child I have ever seen in my LIFE. If you tell him to clean up, he cleans up. He says "sir/ma'am" and "please" and "thank you".

In closing my point is- as I believe it will answer the point of your question, Jenna- is that if you show an interest in your child from day one and show that child love and discipline, the chances of that child growing to be a criminal are very, very small.

[MonsterMash]

Gotta agree with the others. You know the old saying "It takes a village to raise a child?" At some point in time, everyone in that village whipped my ass when I was a kid. I was never "beaten." But I promise you that they got my attention on more than a few occasions. If I was in school and screwed up, the teacher/principal tanned my hide. Then called my parents to say they did it and why. THEN I'd get it again when I got home cause I "knew better." Same thing when I was at an aunt/uncles house and started showing my butt. They'd spank me for what I did,call my parents and I'd get it again when I got home. If I did something in front of my parents, there wasn't any waiting. Remember when you started showing your butt in the cereal aisle when you are a kid over "Cocoa Fruity Crispies" or whatever looked good to you at the time. Mom/dad said "NO" when you asked if you could have them? Then you started showing out. I did that. ONCE. I got blistered right on the cereal aisle too. I don't know what was worse....the whipping.....or the embarassment of the whipping.

I believe you have to have love and discipline in equal measures. Too much discipline I believe is abuse. And yes, you can love a child too much. If you love them so much that you believe they do no wrong and have no faults, then you are blind to those minor faults that become major problems. The bottom line is you have to be involved in your child's life. And YOU have to RAISE YOUR CHILD. If you don't, then I promise you that you won't like what replaces you.

[bayern]

Yes. Back in 1979-80 or there abouts, the town of Forest Acres, a suburb of Columbia, SC was experiencing a rash of Burglaries. This went on for some time. The only places being hit were those of houses of the "Well to do." being taken were pieces of Art Work, gold, silver, weapons, jewlery, etc. No junk, but expensive stuff. Well, they finally got the guy. He was a well to do, highly respected Doctor (MD) and Attorney. Came from a well to do family and all that kind of stuff.

Well, they got most if not all of the stuff back. He had kept it in a "Safe Room" in his house. Not even his wife knew about it.

I know the investigator who helped break this case. It was a facinating story.

[Jenna]

You know the old saying "It takes a village to raise a child?"

You just quoted Hillary Clinton!

[gozling]

As has been said, it's a matter of odds.

Is it possible? Sure.

Much less likely, however.

basically you said it for me, thanks

[Buttercup]

You just quoted Hillary Clinton!

No, he just quoted a West African proverb that was also quoted by a female author (whose name I cannot remember) prior to Hillary's use of the phrase.