never thought i'd post a thread like this here...

**Ender** · 12-24-07, 04:36 AM

okay...my "permanent address," has been with my parents for almost 20 years. in 2000, i moved out, and have been back for a month or two here and there.

I took a local job that involves about 80% travel, and i have about 6 months worth of salary for debt. i just moved back to MI from out of state, and since I didn't know my job situation, I've crashed with them while i figure things out.

my parents are more than willing to keep me here for a while, especially since i'll be gone 5 days a week.

should I:

crash there, paying them nominal rent (they won't expect any), pay off my debt ASAP, then start looking for a house to buy?

OR:

get an apartment with a roomie i can trust, sacrifice the 5 grand a year for rent, and extend the debt paying off/buying a house aspect for a few months or maybe a little more?

i haven't lived at home for YEARS, but it wouldn't be that big of a deal for either of us...but i DO like having my own place a lot. then again, paying 5 grand a year, give or take, for a place i spend 8 days a month at seems a waste.

what would you do?

i'm tempted with the "get a place," option, but a lot of different things come into play with both choices.

thanks!

**Willowdared** · 12-24-07, 05:10 AM

What's with this "nominal rent" shit?

Pay them the market rate for a room and board situation, that's what I do. I also pay half the utilities.

**Jenna** · 12-24-07, 05:13 AM

If you get along with your parents, why not live with them? If you don't, don't.

**Ender** · 12-24-07, 05:23 AM

Originally Posted by PDawg

What's with this "nominal rent" shit?

they don't expect any rent. me and my parents get along 100%. i wouldn't stay here without throwing a couple hundred bucks a month their way out of conscience. for being home 8-10 days a month thats kinda nominal

**Ender** · 12-24-07, 05:25 AM

Originally Posted by Jenna

If you get along with your parents, why not live with them? If you don't, don't.

i get along with them great...they are the best parents i could ever have. they've suggested i stick around for a while and get a firm foot planted financially before i get involved in buying a house.

its more of a question like, "i'm approaching 30 and living with my parents." yeah, its fiscally sound...but in reality, its a lame thing to say, even if you can bank a nice down payment on a house in a short time

**Jenna** · 12-24-07, 05:26 AM

No shame in living with people you love. When they're gone you'll be glad you got to spend more time with them.

**Ender** · 12-24-07, 05:33 AM

Originally Posted by Jenna

No shame in living with people you love. When they're gone you'll be glad you got to spend more time with them.

well shit, you threw that into it.

I've always been close with my family...my Grandmas were my best friends until they passed. My Parents are GREAT, and good friends, but also Parents. they'd do anything for me, and vice versa. when you put it that way....damn.

**PapaBear** · 12-24-07, 08:09 AM

At this stage in your life you should be out and about on your own. However, if your parents are like my wife and me, you will be welcome to stay with them. That said, if I were you I would compensate them nominally, help out around the house when possible and, this is important, follow thier house rules and wishes - it is their home so respect it.

While there, you can offset some bills and begin saving.

Back in the early 80s our daughter moved back home with us. I charged her a small rent and put it in the bank. When she moved out, I gave the money back to her and it was enough to help her out. Good luck. You will always be your parents baby!!

Merry Christmas and a fabulous 2008.

**Vendetta** · 12-24-07, 09:59 AM

I would move back in with my Dad in a heartbeat...........but he turned my bedroom into a gun room

**Hannibal** · 12-24-07, 10:05 AM

Originally Posted by Vendetta

I would move back in with my Dad in a heartbeat...........but he turned my bedroom into a gun room

Your old man is a smart guy.

**OXCOPS** · 12-24-07, 10:40 AM

Originally Posted by Ender

i get along with them great...they are the best parents i could ever have. they've suggested i stick around for a while and get a firm foot planted financially before i get involved in buying a house.

its more of a question like, "i'm approaching 30 and living with my parents." yeah, its fiscally sound...but in reality, its a lame thing to say, even if you can bank a nice down payment on a house in a short time

As you know, when I separated from my (now) ex-wife back in 2006, my parents TOLD me I was going to come back and stay with them until things were ironed out legally. Like you, I was on the fence about it. I remembered how things were when I was there full time the last time (high school). Of course, I was also thankful I had parents that cared enough for me to want me to come back. They refused any money I offered for food, utilities and rent.

I stayed with them for exactly nine months, until I moved out to AZ. Looking back on it, it was just a short amount of time. I was in a MUCH better financial position at the end of that time compared to getting my own place.

If anyone gives you shit about staying with your parents for the short term, they are either one of two things. They are either jerking your chain and joking around with you, or they are a complete douchebag with no concept of the love of family, therefore not worth getting worked up over.

Oh, Barbara says hi.

**Cidp24** · 12-24-07, 11:08 AM

Stay with the parents, get on your feet, pay them what you can to help out.

**Jks9199** · 12-24-07, 11:50 AM

If you use your folks's house as home base, paying them, say for discussion $300 a month and helping around the house when you're home... how long will it take you to pay off your debts?

If you rented an apartment, still putting what you can towards your debts, how long?

I would suggest that if you decide to stay at your parents's house, you sit down together and establish some ground rules. You're not a kid anymore -- even though you're they're kid always. If you don't establish those ground rules, it'll get stressful. (Think about things like dates, how late you might come in, whether you need to advise them if you'll be home for dinner, and so on.) And -- I'd suggest setting a "sunset date" when you plan to move out. You can adjust it, if necessary, but pick that date.

**ManImBored** · 12-24-07, 12:02 PM

I am 24 and I still live with my mom and now step-dad. I pay $200 a month for rent and it is basically like a hotel. I come and go as I please, no one worries when I don't come home, etc. I do my own laundry, cook my own food, wash my own dishes. It works out great for me. Where else could I live for that price. I only see my mom about one day a week because of my schedule and her schedule. Its almost like living away from home, only at home. Its a win-win situation. Do I want to do it forever, no. I lived by myself for 2 years and loved. I moved back home when I went to the academy because it was full-time and I was not able to work but about 15 hours a week. Since we are getting a healthy raise next month, I am going to start putting money aside to move out. My mom has never said anything about me living at home and I doubt she minds. I have just as much freedom as if I lived at home. I am just ready to be by myself again, plus I want to move a little closer to work. So I guess what I am saying is, stay with your parents. If your only gonna be home 8 days a month, why spend the money for an apartment? Thats flushing money down the drain. Save it up and get a nice house. You parents will feel good about what you accomplished and so will you, in the long run.

**Donut Aficionado** · 12-24-07, 12:47 PM

My mother would love it if I moved back in.....She wont let me have a dog though.

Ender, stay with them til you are set. If they wont accept rent, save it in a bank account and get them a real nice gift later with it.

Just my $.02

Welcome back to MI, Merry Christams!!!!

**Ducky** · 12-24-07, 01:57 PM

When I got divorced, I had to move back in with my parents for a few months. They and I don't have the best relationship, but it was what I could afford to do and they had the room. I was out in 7 months, and in a much better financial state than I had been in previously. It wasn't easy because of the nature of our relationship, but it was worth it. If your relationship with your parents is good, I'd say go for it.

**Cst.SB** · 12-24-07, 02:40 PM

I say, buy a place. Have someone else pay for your mortgage will living at home, and then take possession of it later when you're going to be home more often.

From what the media portrays of the housing market in the US you should be able to pick up a foreclosure fairly cheap.

**10-42Adam** · 12-24-07, 02:46 PM

Move back in with your parents, pay off your debt, then save as much money as you can. You'll probably be glad you did in the end. Living with friends is fun, but it's harder to save money. Good luck!

**jmur5074** · 12-24-07, 03:00 PM

I would stay with your parents.

I moved out ASAP because I couldn't stand living with my mom, but if you get along with your parents, why not?

No offense to anyone who rents, but renting (as a permanent residence anyway) is such a waste of money. Especially if you're only there 8 days a month.