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Thread: Solicitors

  1. #1
    jmur5074's Avatar
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    Solicitors

    How do YOU get rid of solicitors Ex: Jehovahs Witnesses, Meat sales people (which are common in the midwest, anywhere else?), magazine sales people, leaflet distributors, etc, etc.

    I got my first Jehovah's witness of the spring/summer today.

    Of course I worked last night so I was sleeping. The dogs started going bat shit, and that mixed with the persistent knocking on my door woke me up. I ignored it and figured if it was important I'd get a phone call. When I woke up I found a leaflet stuffed into my door jam.

    I have a "No Solicitors" sign posted on the entrance to my porch. In addition to that I have a "Beware of Dog" sign posted. As a few people here can tell you, the dog sign is purely a joke. They sound mean but they don't have a dangerous bone in them.

    My signs apparently aren't working. Any suggestions? If it comes down to verbally abusing them at the door, I am open to that idea.
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

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    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

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    Jenna's Avatar
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    I never answer my door unless I'm expecting someone. Usually if I stay real quiet, the solicitors will go away after awhile.

  3. #3
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    Shoot 1 or 2 and the rest should get the message.
    But you're a deputy, you can't give me a ticket!

    Yea Ok, sign here and press hard there are 4 copies!

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    Quote Originally Posted by jmur5074 View Post
    How do YOU get rid of solicitors Ex: Jehovahs Witnesses, Meat sales people (which are common in the midwest, anywhere else?), magazine sales people, leaflet distributors, etc, etc.

    I got my first Jehovah's witness of the spring/summer today.

    Of course I worked last night so I was sleeping. The dogs started going bat shit, and that mixed with the persistent knocking on my door woke me up. I ignored it and figured if it was important I'd get a phone call. When I woke up I found a leaflet stuffed into my door jam.

    I have a "No Solicitors" sign posted on the entrance to my porch. In addition to that I have a "Beware of Dog" sign posted. As a few people here can tell you, the dog sign is purely a joke. They sound mean but they don't have a dangerous bone in them.

    My signs apparently aren't working. Any suggestions? If it comes down to verbally abusing them at the door, I am open to that idea.
    They tend to leave me alone when they see the pentacles on the porch. Barring that, a stone face with a calm but firm "Leave. NOW." generally does the trick for me.
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    Answer your door butt naked. I bet they won't come back
    " The hardest thing about disarming an armed suspect is not slipping on your own shit "

    Michael P. Gordon E.O.W 08 Aug 2004




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    Thats funny shit, i had a Jehovah's witness dork today knock on the front door.
    I had the main door open, but the storm door shut, and locked.

    Ruger, my new dog, hit the door so hard, i thought he was going threw it.

    Needless to say, the dork only took about 2 steps, and he was on the sidewalk walking down the street.

    For some reason, i dont think he will be back
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

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    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked, Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

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    True Story,

    When I was in college I lived with two of my frat brothers in an apartment. One of my room mates is a coon a$$ that has been drinking bourbon since he was 12. He also had his air assault and airborne wings before he graduated college. Our pad was a typical college party apartment, neon beer signs the whole bit. One afternoon we are chilling out [allow me to set the mood]. He is mixing drinks in the kitchen and I'm cleaning a glock 21 in the common room. Blender is going and Simple Man by Charlie Daniels is playing. My room mate smells like he just distilled the Jim Beam he is drinking and I'm wearing a wife beater t-shirt while cleaning said gun. Knock knock....

    Gray answers the door and I hear him talking. This is odd as most folks we know just come on in. I yell out, "is it someone selling something or what?". All I hear him say is y'all can come on in, but I'm a drunk Catholic and my room mate is a no nonsense Baptist that probably won't listen to any Jehovah's Witnesses. As they peek inside I've just reassembled the glock, slap in a mag, and rack the slide. We were never bothered again.

    Meanwhile, fishing in Russia:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkzV5AIK8iM
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    You have no solicitors, try a posted no trespassing sign. If that doesn't work, I would go with the suggestion of answering the door butt nekid. That should terrorize them enough not to come back.

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
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    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

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    Quote Originally Posted by bird1 View Post
    Answer your door butt naked. I bet they won't come back
    Honestly....I've considered it.

    But my idea was to answer it nekkid but wearing a robe.

    And then inviting them in and doing a Sharon Stone move.
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

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    I've literally sat in view of the window, watching TV, and not answered the door
    --

    Ender

    "And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."

  11. #11
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    I usually answer the door, thank them for their time, and tell them I am not interested.

    I'm not into being an asshole to the Witnesses about it - they are out professing their faith as they feel called to do. I just let them know I'm firm in my own faith.

    As for other solicitors, we just don't get them out this far.
    I'm your huckleberry...

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    but every girl I found was either one way or the other...



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    Quote Originally Posted by jmur5074 View Post
    Honestly....I've considered it.

    But my idea was to answer it nekkid but wearing a robe.

    And then inviting them in and doing a Sharon Stone move.
    Have sex with a man?




  13. #13
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    I had a couple bang on my door once. I hollered through the door that I was not opening any door for any stupid probation officer. They left pretty quickly that time. Once I opened the door, stuck out my hand with one of those canned airhorns and let it loose. No wait, that was a kirby salesman that time. Works pretty good on the phone also.
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    213th's Avatar
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    besides the fact that no one really knocks on my door unless I know they are coming over, I ALWAYS answer with my handgun on
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

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    I do open the door for Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons, I tell them that I am secure in my faith and thank them for stopping by.

    I rarely get salespeople. And I never under any circumstances answer the door after dark unless I'm expecting someone.




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    Quote Originally Posted by ex401mp View Post
    I had a couple bang on my door once. I hollered through the door that I was not opening any door for any stupid probation officer. They left pretty quickly that time. Once I opened the door, stuck out my hand with one of those canned airhorns and let it loose. No wait, that was a kirby salesman that time. Works pretty good on the phone also.




  17. #17
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    In this city, if you are not wearing in plain sight, a little bright yellow permit with your pic on it, issued by the city, you are illegal and I call a unit and file charges. I hate solicitors. Religious groups are exempt from this so I usually just dont go to the door or politely tell them no.
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    Quote Originally Posted by maclean View Post
    I usually answer the door, thank them for their time, and tell them I am not interested.

    I'm not into being an asshole to the Witnesses about it - they are out professing their faith as they feel called to do. I just let them know I'm firm in my own faith.

    That's pretty much how I handle it as well. I've found with the JW's, if you tell them you're not interested, they don't come back.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    In this city, if you are not wearing in plain sight, a little bright yellow permit with your pic on it, issued by the city, you are illegal and I call a unit and file charges. I hate solicitors. Religious groups are exempt from this so I usually just dont go to the door or politely tell them no.
    You know....the Nazis had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear.

    bonus points if you get that quote
    --

    Ender

    "And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."

  20. #20
    213th's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ender View Post
    You know....the Nazis had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear.

    bonus points if you get that quote
    uhh Office Space...that's an easy one bro
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

 

 
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