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  1. #1
    Shoestring's Avatar
    Shoestring is offline Please dont check the trunk...
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    To cry or not to cry

    Times are changing,

    What are your feelings on a man crying?

    A man is suppose to be a strong figure, but times change and showing emotions has also changed.


    I keep a lot of emotions to myself but I have shown emotions on certain events (example below)

    1. Getting married to my wife
    2. Death of my grandpa
    3. Told my 6 week old son (3yrs now) had to have surgery to correct a problem
    Somebody Please, what the hell is that smell?

    "The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

    The views, opinions, stupid off the cuff comments, mouthy, obnoxious, thoughtless, etc etc etc are not always or even some of the time the belief of my department, so bugger off!

  2. #2
    Hannah87's Avatar
    Hannah87 is offline Giggidy... Giggidy..
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    Everyone is human. Some men act tough and such, but things happen that involve crying. I think it shows that they care about the situation. I don't think it is wrong at all..
    May you rest in peace Daddy and may you never hurt again. I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you again.

    12/12/44- 2/26/09

  3. #3
    Just KC's Avatar
    Just KC is offline Who?......Me?
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    I think it shows compassion. I love seeing a man with a soft heart. I hate the big macho type that is hard-ass.
    **********************
    ~Karie

    "I used to care
    but now I take a pill for that"

  4. #4
    Hannah87's Avatar
    Hannah87 is offline Giggidy... Giggidy..
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just KC View Post
    I think it shows compassion. I love seeing a man with a soft heart. I hate the big macho type that is hard-ass.

    Ditto
    May you rest in peace Daddy and may you never hurt again. I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you again.

    12/12/44- 2/26/09

  5. #5
    armsmaster270's Avatar
    armsmaster270 is offline Ret. Sac. P.D. - 270th M.P. Co., Now with D.H.S.
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    I used to keep it all in and hardly showed emotion at all, but as I get older the universe is getting its revenge on me now it takes nothing to get me going but I still try to hold it back. Old habits die hard.


    Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. --Al Bundy

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  6. #6
    Jenna's Avatar
    Jenna is offline sheep
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    Men and women should be equal in all ways, including the right to cry.

  7. #7
    sgtbear111's Avatar
    sgtbear111 is offline retired
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    I am a male and I cry. I learned many years ago that "stuffing" things hurts more. Learned that "pressure release valve" from being a veteran 12 stepper.

    Many men, and some women are uncomfortable around me when I get misty over some experience, past or present. They have the option to walk if their shields are up. Those who stay, listen, and feedback are my friends. It is not the place, and never the time, for judgement and criticism, in either direction.

    When someone lets their hair down in your presence, it's an unspoken request for your trust and feedback. Walk a few miles in their shoes, find out why...........

    Only a sociopath goes through life unaffected by loss, sorrow or compassion; but they do cry, with manipulating exaggerated sincerity, when the matter is not going their way.

    The "macho" attitude is a male stereotype, often proudly worn by some women. My opinion: they are "stuffing", do not 'trust' easily, and hiding from themselves.

    my .02
    Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.-- Anonymous

    Old People, like me, may not be around to witness the destruction of our Nation. The rest of you may not survive the collapse. We all have the sworn duty to prevent it.

    The light of hope burns brighter than the fires of doom.

  8. #8
    Bob Loblaw's Avatar
    Bob Loblaw is offline Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
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    When something affects me hard, I cry. However, I don't like to let it out in front of anyone (except a trusted few). I try to keep all my emotions bottled in for the most part so as not to "tip my hand" to people I don't want knowing what's actually going on inside of me. I let them out, just on my own schedule.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna
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  9. #9
    Ender's Avatar
    Ender is offline Three Sheets...
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    There are times when it is appropriate for anybody to cry. The instances you listed certainly fill that niche.

    I personally associate not being able to express one's emotions to, well...not being developed emotionally as a person. One way or another, EVERY one of us needs a release, whether it is crying, working out/punching a bag, etc etc. Often times when my mind is just boggled with everyday type stressors, I run a mile or two and find that I sleep better at night. Once in a great while I'll just break down and cry, whether it is due to lost loved ones I'm remembering, stress, or whatever. I don't care...it is a healthy release of pent up emotions, and a natural thing.

    Whatever it takes to get the job done I guess. Granted, I either do that alone or in front of very trusted people...but I'm certainly not ashamed of the times that I sob like a 4th grade girl with a skinned knee for whatever reason....
    --

    Ender

    "And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."

  10. #10
    Jenna's Avatar
    Jenna is offline sheep
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    I actually try to avoid crying in front of other people, even though I sometimes cry alone. I don't fault anyone, male or female, for crying, but some others seem to feel that crying is a sign of weakness, and they are the kind of people I'd be most afraid to appear weak in front of.

  11. #11
    Shoestring's Avatar
    Shoestring is offline Please dont check the trunk...
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    So with everyones willing to cry in silence, do you cry when you watch something sad? Like the make a wish story like on ESPN?

    I cant say I was crying but the the eyes really did well up when watching a few of the stories lately. Do you wel up for someone not close to you?
    Somebody Please, what the hell is that smell?

    "The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

    The views, opinions, stupid off the cuff comments, mouthy, obnoxious, thoughtless, etc etc etc are not always or even some of the time the belief of my department, so bugger off!

  12. #12
    Ender's Avatar
    Ender is offline Three Sheets...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shoestring View Post
    So with everyones willing to cry in silence, do you cry when you watch something sad? Like the make a wish story like on ESPN?
    I cry easier when I'm alone.

    I tear up at the Star Spangled Banner, even in public, if it is sung well.

    I tear up at a good rendition of Silent Night during Christmas season.

    I've cried like a baby at the Bobby Warns video on youtube, the often posted video of the guy who does triathlons with his disabled son, etc etc.

    I cried like hell the first time (and maybe the second and third) I watched 'Life Is Beautiful,' on DVD.

    I cried the first few times I saw Les Miserables.

    As I get older and have seen and dealt with real death, seen people die, and dealt with real life serious stuff, I cry less at stuff that is geared to (or just does) hit people in an emotional spot. I still let it out at the appropriate times, however.

    If I'm crying in front of you, you can bet your life that I trust you, unless something really bad just happened. Otherwise I like to let it out when I'm alone.

    I have never worried about when I wanted to cry. There was a time or two when I worried about not being able to cry, even though the times were right. For a while I was numb to all the bad things in life, and probably just stuffed them inside to come out later. Being able to cry is a natural and healthy thing.
    --

    Ender

    "And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."

  13. #13
    sgtbear111's Avatar
    sgtbear111 is offline retired
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    You are not alone.

    TV is a fraud for the most part. Propaganda. "Real" is a way of making shit up to get more advertising accounts, or the political favors of those the station/network mgmt support. Some exceptions are well done flicks like "Legends of the Fall", "Braveheart", etc.

    Things that touched me most are:
    1) mal-nourished sick little kids I took into custody from a meth house where "mom" would have traded them for an OZ of crank.
    2) a young woman who thanked me in public for sending her to prison, breaking her meth habit and bad friends
    3) a drowned child face-down in the water
    4) a bloody teddy-bear in a crushed car
    5) taking an ER statement from a friend/fellow officer on who shot him, while the ER doc looks at you and slowly shakes his head
    6) suicides of friends/fellow officers
    7) being stupid becomes tragedy

    and guess what......life goes on. Not many people really comprehend the emotional investment the members of the police, EMS, and fire services make in their every-day.

    If you have a Peer Support Team, use it or join it.

    Maintain that stiff upper lip.
    Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.-- Anonymous

    Old People, like me, may not be around to witness the destruction of our Nation. The rest of you may not survive the collapse. We all have the sworn duty to prevent it.

    The light of hope burns brighter than the fires of doom.

  14. #14
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    I cry. I cried when my daughters were born. I cried when I gave my oldest daughter away at her wedding. I cry when I tell driver's education classes about the car accident I had over 30-years-ago that killed my best friend and his 3-year-old daughter. I cried, alone in my squad car, after a 57-year-old man died in my arms in front of his family. I cry at movies.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  15. #15
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    I'm a softie
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

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    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


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  16. #16
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass View Post
    I'm a softie
    Me too.

    I cried after a fatal accident where a 16 yr old died and her parents found her.
    I cried after that same youtube video ender, and just about any police/firefighter/military memorial video or presentation
    I'll cry during the national anthem, out of pride. Actually just about anything expressing patriotism or pride for my country will make me tear up.
    I cried at a recent funeral for one of my co-workers
    I cried like a baby at my grandpa's funeral 3 years ago.
    And the songs Amazing Grace, In the Arms of an Angel, and I will Remember You will almost always make me tear up

    I don't really care, I'll cry and don't really care.
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  17. #17
    narcodog is offline Rookie
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    I was in a trial last week and I cried. I couldn't help it a question was asked and it put me over the edge.

    I cry at all of the above, even though I am on med's. It's been a ruff few years.
    "A Knights Oath
    A Knight is sworn to valor; His Heart only knows virtue; His Blade defends the helpless; His Might upholds the weak; His Words speak only the truth; His Wrath undoes the wicked"

    Aspire to Inspire

  18. #18
    Wolven's Avatar
    Wolven is offline Major
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    I don't see anything wrong with it...shows you care about people, events and memories. How else would we know you cared?

    JMUR: ever see the SPCA ad with In the Arms of an Angel in the background? Showing all the neglected and abandoned animals...tears me up every time.
    Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr

  19. #19
    jmur5074's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolven View Post
    I don't see anything wrong with it...shows you care about people, events and memories. How else would we know you cared?

    JMUR: ever see the SPCA ad with In the Arms of an Angel in the background? Showing all the neglected and abandoned animals...tears me up every time.
    Yes. And seeing as I, basically like dogs more than people, I can't even watch that commercial. It's too sad.
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  20. #20
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolven View Post
    I don't see anything wrong with it...shows you care about people, events and memories. How else would we know you cared?

    JMUR: ever see the SPCA ad with In the Arms of an Angel in the background? Showing all the neglected and abandoned animals...tears me up every time.
    I have to change the channel when that commercial is on.

    I don't see anything at all wrong with a man crying. I've seen my dad cry, most recently when my mom was deemed to be completely fine after a risky surgery several months ago. I've seen other very strong men cry, at among other things, the death of family members or a beloved pet, films, and during times of stress. One of the most touching moments I've seen a man shed tears was when he was watching his young son's face as the child watched the fireworks for the first time at DisneyWorld several years ago.

    To address Jenna's comment (although I do not wish to get off topic), I do have a big problem with women crying in the workplace as a manipulative tool.

    As for me crying, I don't hold it back if I feel that I need to. I actually cried a couple of days ago while I was working at the food show, I had to step away from the booth for a few minutes after receiving a phone call that a friend had died unexpectedly. There have been some stories/posts here that have made me cry.




 

 
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