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Thread: Stress

  1. #1
    PapaBear's Avatar
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    A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked 'How heavy is this glass of water?' Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.

    If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
    If I hold it for an hour, I 'll have an ache in my right arm.
    If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
    In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'

    He continued, and that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on.'

    'As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.'

    'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.'

    So my friend, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

    Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

    * Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
    * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
    * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
    * Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
    * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
    * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
    * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
    * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
    * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
    * It's the second mouse that gets the cheese.
    * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
    * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
    * Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
    * We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
    *A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
    *May you always have Love to Share, Health to Spare, and Friends that Care



    'Physical effort and long hours do not constitute hard work. Hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. Anytime you'd rather be doing something other that what you're doing, you're doing hard work.'- George Carlin
    Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.
    [George Washington (1732 - 1799)]

  2. #2
    Rhino's Avatar
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    Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

    I don't know anyone that needs to heed that piece of advice.
    "If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn't thinking." -Gen. George S. Patton

  3. #3
    Pinki's Avatar
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    I like that
    Arm the sheep!

  4. #4
    n30's Avatar
    n30 is offline A woman in man's job; but always a lady ;-)
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    A careless word may kindle strife, a cruel word may wreck a life, a timely word may level stress, and a loving word may heal and bless!

    A cat's purr is the most effective stress medicine known.

    All stressed out and no one to choke!

    Any more pressure and I'll turn into a diamond.

    Anyone with normal blood pressure today is not in touch with reality.

    Caution! Stress Overload! May explode at any moment!

    Caution. Mom's stressed!

    Chocolate may not reduce stress but at least having your mouth full will keep you from saying something you'll regret.

    Chocolate reduces stress and it's so much quieter than throwing a screaming fit.

    Don't be afraid of pressure. Remember that pressure is what turned a lump of coal into a diamond.

    Experts say the secret to managing stress is to always finish what you start, so today I finished off a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, a half gallon of triple fudge ice cream, a package of chocolate chip cookies and a fifth of Jack Daniels. They're right... I feel great!!!

    Experts say the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day.

    For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.

    God sends no stress that prayer and chocolate cannot handle!

    Good Morning. Let the stress begin.

    Hassle with Care!

    How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then to rest afterward. -- Spanish Proverb

    I can't relax. Tension is what's holding me together.

    I only feel stress three times a day. . . morning, noon and night.

    If not for stress, I'd have no energy at all.

    If stress burned calories, I'd be a size 5.

    If you’re not stressed, you’re not living.

    I'm not stressed, just terribly, terribly alert.

    I'm not suffering from stress, but I am a carrier.

    I'm on a low fat, high stress diet... coffee and fingernails.

    In good times, trouble or stress, your angel is there to love and bless.

    My ex doesn't have ulcers, but is a carrier! (sub anyone)

    My guardian angel watches me in joy, in trouble, in stress. She wraps her wings around me, whispering, "You are special, loved, and blessed."

    Not another crisis! My schedule is already full.

    One day at a time is more than I can handle.

    One day I will burst my bud of calm and blossom into hysteria!

    Please hassle us. We thrive on stress.

    Prescription for Stress: Garden more, work less.

    Prescription for Stress: Large doses of hugs and kisses several times a day.

    Reality is the leading cause of stress.

    Simplify! Less mess, less stress!

    Stitch your stress away. Seamstresses never stress. They just seam that way!

    Stress begins when your gut says "No" and your mouth says "Of course, I'd love to".

    Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency.

    Stress is for people who really care.

    Stress is like an iceberg. What you see is only the tip.

    Stress is the confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some idiot who desperately deserves it.

    Stress is when we're attacked by several days in one.

    Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

    Stress wouldn’t be so difficult if it came chocolate covered.


    Stressed is desserts spelled backwards.

    Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!

    Stressed! ME?!?!?!?

    Ten best ways to relieve stress: 1. Eat a handful of chocolate. 2. Repeat 9 times.

    Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. -- Chinese Proverb

    The politician said, "I have discontinued long speeches since it stresses my throat... several people have threatened to cut it."

    The source of stress is not our problems but rather our attitude and approaches to them.

    Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheaper and in many cases just as effective.

    There are only two times that I feel stress. . . night and day!

    Warning! I have PMS and I'm all out of chocolate!

    When really stressed, pull out your hare. (country saying)

    When stressed practice S. L. E. E. P. aka Stress Level Easily Eradicated Plan

    When stressed, sedate with chocolate.

    When you are troubled or stressed, guardian angels keep you loved and blessed.

    When you get a tension headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle... Take two and keep away from children.

    Without stress, my life would have no meaning.



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