Last year my medical internship at a local hospital brought me a patient who deserves recognition. His problem was listed as "FBIP" which a nurse explained meant "Foreign Body In Penis." I found a middle-aged, slightly disheveled hippy lying on the bed looking dazed. His girlfriend was standing silently behind him. His story was as interesting as I'd expected.
Several days previously he was smoking marijuana while his girlfriend was out of town, and he decided to see what would happen if he snaked a three-foot length of aquarium tubing into his penis. When 6 inches still protruded, he tried to pull it out -- but it was stuck!
This predicament apparently didn't teach him a complete lesson. He then threaded wire from a Weed Wacker through the center of the tubing, which also became stuck. He decided to sleep on it and hope for the best.
The next day, it was still stuck. He tried to go about his day as usual, hoping it would just fall out on its own, but had trouble doing his gardening with tubing hanging out of his penis. So he cut the tubing flush with his skin. Another day went by.
He finally realized that the foreign objects were impeding the flow of urine, and despite his embarrassment he needed to go to the Emergency Room.
We tugged and pulled on what little we could grab of the tubing, and he wasn't kidding when he said it was stuck. X-rays showed the tubing and Weed Wacker wire kinked and knotted in his bladder. A urologist took the man to surgery and, using a scope forced through the already-crowded urethra, managed to cut the knot and pull out the tubing. Needless to say, that is one stoned experiment the hippy will not try again.
I'm not entirely sure of the source of this article, but I believe it's on the Darwin Awards website.
Oh... my... gosh. :lalala:
Wow...at first I thought it was you, Josh, that was doing the yanking!
When I worked in the prison system, there was a gay Native American that wanted to be a woman so bad, that every month, he'd stuff a cigarette filter up his penis to simulate a tampon. It got stuck a couple of times. I also saw an inmate coming down from the upper tier one day and it looked like he was a rodeo rider that just rode the bull. He handed me a note, and it said, "This isn't a joke: I have a deodorant container stuck in my ass and I can't get it out." He was sent to the hospital, and the dr. had to use a forcepts to remove a large "Ban" roll on from the guys rectum.
Some people really need to realize that certain holes are "exit only".