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  1. #1
    Terminator's Avatar
    Terminator is offline BANNED
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    Talking The Obama Inauguration Speech Generator

    http://www.atom.com/spotlights/inaug...ech_generator/


    My fellow Americans, today is a historical day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "Democrat", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually do.

    Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake America faces long and hard challenges like never before. Our economy is veiny. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for filet mignon. Our healthcare system is huge. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a police officer. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a cum-stained butt. But fucking together we can right this ship, and set a course for the hood.

    Finally, I must thank my ungrateful family, my gay campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Hollywood elite liberals for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of screwing the American people. Without your dumbass efforts, none of this would have been possible.

  2. #2
    Odd's Avatar
    Odd
    Odd is offline Cosmonaut Trainer
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    My fellow Americans, today is a purple day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "house", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually eat.

    Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces cold and hot challenges like never before. Our economy is limp. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for bitches. Our healthcare system is weak. If your finger is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a accountant. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a truck pretzel. But swerving together we can right this ship, and set a course for Milwaukee.

    Finally, I must thank my tall family, my enormous campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Girlscounts for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of jumping the American people. Without your slow efforts, none of this would have been possible.

  3. #3
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
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    I had to doctor it a but - He can't write either.

    Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech
    My fellow Americans, today is a suckie day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "bitch", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually suck.

    Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces shit and shittier challenges like never before. Our economy is Clintonesque. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for hookers. Our healthcare system is dumb. If your nuts are falling off and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a squirrel. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a pair of big leaky hooters. But gunning together we can right this ship, and set a course for shitter.

    Finally, I must thank my bitchy family, my crappy campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank all the Black Ass Homies for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of screwing the American people. Without your dumbshit efforts, none of this would have been possible.


    Copy your brilliant speech and email it to us. It might get featured on Atom.com.

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    (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

  4. #4
    SPD's Avatar
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    Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

    My fellow Americans, today is a huge day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "septic tank", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually masturbate.

    Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces ugly and stupid challenges like never before. Our economy is pretty. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for boobs. Our healthcare system is smelly. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a porn star. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a stamp mouse. But humping together we can right this ship, and set a course for Oklahoma City.

    Finally, I must thank my sweaty family, my unthinkable campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank midgets for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of grovelling the American people. Without your retarded efforts, none of this would have been possible.

  5. #5
    Captain America's Avatar
    Captain America is offline Reed and Malloy were my FTOs
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    Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

    My fellow Americans, today is a suckass day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "gonads", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually spank.

    Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces real and bare challenges like never before. Our economy is hairy. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for rednecks. Our healthcare system is missing. If your pancreas is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call lawyers. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a milkshake tampon. But fornicating together we can right this ship, and set a course for Europe.

    Finally, I must thank my huge family, my single campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank NRA for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of bleeding the American people. Without your gay efforts, none of this would have been possible.
    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

  6. #6
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Mine should not go here. Check the squad room.
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  7. #7
    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
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    Quote Originally Posted by lewisipso View Post
    Mine should not go here. Check the squad room.
    That bad er good, huh?


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









  8. #8
    KaiGywer's Avatar
    KaiGywer is offline *insert witty remark here*
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    My fellow Americans, today is a yellow day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "airplane", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually die.

    Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces big and stupid challenges like never before. Our economy is weird. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for boats. Our healthcare system is little. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a rampie. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a hand foot. But fuck together we can right this ship, and set a course for Zone 7.

    Finally, I must thank my shitty family, my fat campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank KKK for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of blow the American people. Without your great efforts, none of this would have been possible.
    Alpha Phi Sigma Alum - Alpha Delta Chapter
    ΑΦΣ

  9. #9
    countybear's Avatar
    countybear is offline BDRT - Baby Daddy Removal Team
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    Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech
    My fellow Americans, today is a sexually gratifying day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "voting for idiots", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually jingle.

    Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake America faces invented and over-popularized challenges like never before. Our economy is manufactured. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for my friend's pockets. Our healthcare system is fine. If your Illegal immigrant Aunt is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Priest. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a Global Superpower. But being ignorant together we can right this ship, and set a course for Washington D.C..

    Finally, I must thank my Oscar-winning family, my clueless campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank you morons for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of rescuing the American people. Without your bold efforts, none of this would have been possible.

    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  10. #10
    irishmick's Avatar
    irishmick is offline Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.
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    My fellow Americans, today is a bumpy day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "cat", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually kiss.

    Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces green and slimy challenges like never before. Our economy is big. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for motorcycles. Our healthcare system is miniscule. If your elbow is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a psychotherapist. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a picture frame body wash. But juggling together we can right this ship, and set a course for Wisconsin.

    Finally, I must thank my rubbery family, my bright campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank a mob of elderly buccaneers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of adultering the American people. Without your hairy efforts, none of this would have been possible.
    --"D.B.A.D." --Me

    --Life's tough...it's tougher if you're stupid.

    --"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." -Elbert Hubbard

  11. #11
    CT209's Avatar
    CT209 is offline Once..... Forever
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    Mine needs work:

    Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech
    My fellow Americans, today is a shameful day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "reality", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually tax.

    Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake America faces entitlement and socialistic challenges like never before. Our economy is ruined. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for moonbats. Our healthcare system is expensive. If your butt is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a politician. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a UN-based initiative. But stealing together we can right this ship, and set a course for Chicago.

    Finally, I must thank my adorable family, my ACORN-registered campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank dead people for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of leading the American people. Without your efforts efforts, none of this would have been possible.
    "When a crime is committed, liberals blame society. Conservatives blame the criminal." -Debra Saunders

    Old Scottish Motto- "nemo me impune laccessit". It still holds true today.

  12. #12
    bayern's Avatar
    bayern is offline Officer First Class
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    Hope and change

    My fellow hyphenated-Americans. My biggest hope is that my appointments to my cabinet from the Clinton era can change things because I don't know what the f+ck I am doing or how to do it.

 

 

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