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Thread: Yuck Phooey!!!

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    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
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    Yuck Phooey!!!

    So I was eating a couple of buttered biscuits over my laptop earlier... naturally, when I saw a big glob of whitesh yellow stuff on the touchpad, I scooped it up with my finger took a big lick.

    But I digress... Our dog has caused a flea problem in the house, so I had gotten some industrial-strength flea spray from the pet store. Before supper, I made a pass through the bedroom. Hmmm, says I, this stuff kinda foams up, and drops big globs of whitish-yellow stuff all over the place.

    You guessed it, the big glob of stuff on my laptop was industrial-strength flea spray from the pet store, and I swallowed about half of it. The other half I managed not to swallow, so I trotted over to the sink and washed my mouth out. That didn't work, so I added some hand soap and rinsed my mouth out with that (it tasted better than the industrial-strength flea spray from the pet store).

    But that didn't work either so I stood there gargling mouthwash. But it wasn't mouthwash, it was some nasty-tasting flouride treatment and antibotic rinse that my wife had gotten from the dentist. It just LOOKED like Scope, but it tasted a lot like the industrial-strength flea spray from the pet store.

    So now, my tongue feels numb, my throat hurts, and I have a really bad taste in my mouth.

    I would shoot the dog for bringing in the fleas, but he's heavy and I don't feel like dragging the carcus out of the house. Now he's begging for another bite of buttered biscuit.

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    Has anyone approached you about starring in your own sitcom?

    Quote Originally Posted by TXCharlie View Post
    I would shoot the dog for bringing in the fleas, but he's heavy and I don't feel like dragging the carcus out of the house. Now he's begging for another bite of buttered biscuit.
    I'd hate to see what you might give him instead of the biscuit....

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    You really are a walking clusterfuck, and it's hilarious!

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    Um, you have looked into calling poison control or something just to be on the safe side, right? I don't mean to be stirring your Kool Aid, I'm just saying.....

    You don't want to wake up tomorrow with your innards falling out your butt or something.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    Um, you have looked into calling poison control or something just to be on the safe side, right? I don't mean to be stirring your Kool Aid, I'm just saying.....
    Are you sure it's Kool Aid?

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    Dang, and I thought SPD's stories were good. Maybe you and him ought to get together to see what kind of situations can happen.


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    Jenna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CTR man View Post
    Dang, and I thought SPD's stories were good. Maybe you and him ought to get together to see what kind of situations can happen.
    That could cause the universe itself to collapse!

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    That's funny, I have to go with the suggestion to call poison control also

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    I'll put in another vote for calling poison control, as it's not generally a good idea to slurp up pesticide, even with buttered biscuits.
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    You know, I have to also vote for the call to poison control and immediate invocation of the five-second rule, third exception clause: "just cause it looks like what you're eating, doesn't mean you should put it in your mouth."
    Romans 8:28-31

    "Anima Sana In Corpore Sano"

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  11. #11
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    Umm, gotta go with the poison control suggestion. That is if you wake up today and actually can read this and have morphed not into some large greanish creature

    My dad, I miss him every day.

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    Most of the flea control products cause hyperexcitation of your nervous system/death if you are (1) either not supposed to use it on you or eat it or (2) you use too much. Either way..not good.

    Of course my experience is with animals...but figure it would be a good idea to call poison control. That stuff is not stuff to mess around with...
    Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr

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    Um, Charlie? You still with us??
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    TXCharlie's Avatar
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    I still here - we had high winds last night and a brief tornado touchdown a few miles from us, so I had to come to work to get back on the Internet. Our internet at home will come on just long enough to open the browser, then goes down again.

    I don't think I swallowed enough to do any harm, but I've noticed that the fleas didn't bite me last night. Tongue and throat back to normal.

    That same dog kept us up half the night with all the thunder & lightening though - For a 100+ -lb Lab, he's a real wuss when it comes to thunder.

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    Glad you checked in we were all getting a little concerned.

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

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    Quote Originally Posted by TXCharlie View Post
    I don't think I swallowed enough to do any harm, but I've noticed that the fleas didn't bite me last night. Tongue and throat back to normal.
    Glad you're still with us! I guess being flea-free is a silver lining to your pesticide cloud!

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post
    You really are a walking clusterfuck, and it's hilarious!
    best...line...ever

    a walking clusterfuck. im stealing that
    in the warriors code there's no surrender, though his body says stop, his spirit cries...NEVER. deep in our souls, a quiet ember, knows its you against you, its the paradox that drives us all. its a battle of wills, in the heat of attack, its the passion that kills, and victory is yours alone.


    the posts and opinions stated by me do not in any way reflect the values, beliefs, or views of my department. they are simply opinions and/or observations which have been developed through my personal experiences. hell, most of the stories probably arent even true...wink wink

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    But Charlie look on the bright side..your stomach and guts will be tick and flea free for months to come!!
    "Sometimes people need a little help. Sometimes people need to be forgiven. And sometimes they need to go to jail."


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    TXCharlie....

    LMAO!!! I just hope you've had no serious repurcussions from the ingesting of the flea spray.
    NON TIMEBO MALA.

  20. #20
    Morris is offline Chief Wheaties Pisser
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    Well fuck, Charlie's old enough that he could ingest a basket of habaneros and all he'd get is a toot or two out the rump, maybe a skid mark in the shorts for good measure.

    And the snozzberries taste like snozzberries.

 

 
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