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  1. #1
    pgg's Avatar
    pgg
    pgg is offline Damnit, I'm hungry again.
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    Talking stimulating the economy

    Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another Economic

    Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program. I'll explain it

    using the Q and A format:



    Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?

    A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.



    Q. Where will the government get this money?

    A. From taxpayers.



    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

    A. Only a smidgen.



    Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

    A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition
    TV set, thus stimulating the economy.



    Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?

    A. Shut up.


    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
    spending your stimulus check wisely:


    If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China


    If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.


    If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.


    If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and
    Guatemala .


    If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea.


    If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.


    If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to
    management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


    Instead, keep the money in America * by:


    1. spending it at yard sales, or


    2. going to ball games, or


    3. spending it on prostitutes, or


    4. beer or


    5. tattoos.



    *(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US).


    Conclusion: Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met

    at a yard sale and drink beer all day.
    'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
    delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
    promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
    holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
    possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!'

    A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity. Sigmund Freud

  2. #2
    Jenna's Avatar
    Jenna is offline sheep
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    Quote Originally Posted by pgg View Post
    Conclusion: Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met

    at a yard sale and drink beer all day.





  3. #3
    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
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    If you owe the IRS they keep it.


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









  4. #4
    Odd's Avatar
    Odd
    Odd is offline Cosmonaut Trainer
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    This grump ranted at first sign of stimulus without reading to the end of the joke

 

 

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