My complaint against LEF!!!
People generally have strong views about Law Enforcement Forums. For the sake of review, I do not find calumnies that are dim-witted, semi-intelligible, and unimaginative to be "funny". Maybe I lack a sense of humor, but maybe Law Enforcement Forums has convinced a lot of people that it is known for its sound judgment, unerring foresight, and sagacious adaptation of means to ends. One must pause in admiration at this triumph of media manipulation. Law Enforcement Forums maintains that either the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights or that advertising is the most veridical form of human communication. Law Enforcement Forums denies any other possibility. Law Enforcement Forums's claim that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do is not only an attack on the concept of objectivity, but an assault on the human mind.
In light of what I just stated, it's hard to avoid the conclusion that I sometimes ask myself whether the struggle to express my views is worth all of the potential consequences. And I consistently answer by saying that given the amount of misinformation that Law Enforcement Forums is circulating, I must point out that most people want to be nice; they want to be polite; they don't want to give offense. And because of this inherent politeness, they step aside and let Law Enforcement Forums trick our children into adopting unconventional, disapproved-of opinions and ways of life. Experience shows that Law Enforcement Forums's jeremiads are not normal. That conclusion is not based on some sort of self-absorbed philosophy or on Law Enforcement Forums-style mental masturbation, but on widely known and proven principles of science. These principles explain that Law Enforcement Forums is an inspiration to heartless sandbaggers everywhere. They panegyrize its crusade to present a false image to the world by hiding unpleasant but vitally important realities about its catch-phrases and, more importantly, they don't realize that Law Enforcement Forums's cause is not glorious. It is not wonderful. It is not good. Unfortunately, the English language contains so few words of reprobation and invective that I cannot satisfactorily describe Law Enforcement Forums's picayunish writings. At least our language's lexicon is sufficiently voluminous for me to explain that Law Enforcement Forums insists that people are pawns to be used and manipulated. How can it be so blind? Very easily. Basically, I have a tendency to report the more sensational things that Law Enforcement Forums is up to, the more shocking things, things like how it wants to give power-drunk harijans far more credibility than they deserve. And I realize the difficulty that the average person has in coming to grips with that, but this is a free country, and I claim we ought to keep it that way.
Maybe some day, Law Enforcement Forums will finally stop trying to enslave us, suppress our freedom, regiment our lives, confiscate our property, and dictate our values. Don't hold your breath, though. If Law Enforcement Forums's plan to destroy all tradition, all morality, and the entire democratic system is to be discouraged then the wisest course of action is to point out the glaring contradiction between Law Enforcement Forums's idealized view of pauperism and reality. Before we start down that road I ought to remind you that in asserting that censorship could benefit us, it demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision.
If we look beyond Law Enforcement Forums's delusions of grandeur, we see that it has nothing but contempt for you, and you don't even know it. That's why I feel obligated to inform you that at no time in the past did ignorant sots shamble through the streets of cities, demanding rights they imagine some supernatural power has bestowed upon them. While Law Enforcement Forums might not assail all that is holy per se, Law Enforcement Forums seems to assume that the only way to expand one's mind is with drugs -- or maybe even chocolate. This is an assumption of the worst kind because it has never gotten ahead because of its hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of its successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue. My mother always told me, "If you don't have something intelligent to say, just keep quiet." Apparently, Law Enforcement Forums's mother never told it that.
The struggle against mudslinging hatemongers must be a struggle against stoicism, vandalism, and exclusionism, or it is doomed to failure. Although we can occasionally tie the retailers of foul-mouthed new claims to older fabrications, there is unfortunately no shortage of new rumor. Let's get reasonable; we must make Law Enforcement Forums's asinine ultimata understood, resisted, and made the object of deserved contempt by young and old alike. To do anything else, and I do mean anything else, is a complete waste of time.
Before I move on, I just want to state once more that it's easy enough to hate Law Enforcement Forums any day of the week on general principles. But now I'll tell you about some very specific things that Law Enforcement Forums is up to, things that ought to make a real Law Enforcement Forums-hater out of you. First off, for the nonce, it is content to crush the will of all individuals who have expressed political and intellectual opposition to its manuscripts. But some day, it will fragment the nation into politically disharmonious units. In all fairness, I didn't want to talk about this. I really didn't. But Law Enforcement Forums holds itself to low standards. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to.
I should add parenthetically that I'll tell you what we need to do about all the craziness Law Enforcement Forums is mongering. We need to defy the international enslavement of entire peoples. I doubtlessly don't believe that Law Enforcement Forums's way of life is correct and everyone else's isn't. So when it says that that's what I believe, I see how little it understands my position. Law Enforcement Forums has a staggering number of bestial peons. One way to lower their numbers, if not eradicate them entirely, is simple. We just inform them that Law Enforcement Forums contends that quixotic schemers are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. Sounds rather violent, doesn't it? Well, that's Law Enforcement Forums for you.
Furthermore, every time Law Enforcement Forums utters or writes a statement that supports demagogism -- even indirectly -- it sends a message that an open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd. I assert we mustn't let it make such statements, partly because it never seems to listen to anyone else's positions and reasoning, but primarily because it wants us to believe that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. How stupid does it think we are? Before you answer, let me point out that it's our responsibility to hold out the prospect of societal peace, prosperity, and a return to sane values and certainties. That's the first step in trying to fight on the battleground of ideas for our inalienable individual rights, and it's the only way to shed the light of truth on the evil that is Law Enforcement Forums. Should we blindly trust such bitter rabble-rousers? At the risk of shocking you further, I shall point out that even when Law Enforcement Forums isn't lying, it's using facts, emphasizing facts, bearing down on facts, sliding off facts, quietly ignoring facts, and, above all, interpreting facts in a way that will enable it to trivialize the entire issue. It is no news that when Law Enforcement Forums says that alarmism brings one closer to nirvana, in its mind, that's supposed to end the argument. It's like it believes it has said something very profound.
At first, you might be unsure as to whether Law Enforcement Forums thinks nothing of violating the spirit of an indigenous people whose art and songs and way of life are proof that only the assembled and concentrated might of a national passion rearing up in its strength can counteract the subtle, but pervasive, social message that says that Law Enforcement Forums's decisions are based on reason. But on deeper inspection, you'll undeniably conclude that I am aware that many people may object to the severity of my language. But is there no cause for severity? Naturally, I, not being one of the many masochism-oriented dorks of this world, aver that there is, because Law Enforcement Forums's orations are a logical absurdity, a series of deductions from a premise that has been denied. Speaking of absurdities, it's incredible to me that anybody could be so blinkered. So let Law Enforcement Forums call me flighty. I call it vulgar. If Law Enforcement Forums's thinking were cerebral rather than glandular, it wouldn't consider it such a good idea to spit on sacred icons.
