Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    StanSwitek's Avatar
    StanSwitek is offline Corporal
    Join Date
    12-04-05
    Location
    Huntington Beach, CA
    Posts
    891
    Rep Power
    1143373

    Mr. President, I'm Headed To Mexico

    David M. Bresnahan
    April 1, 2006
    NewsWithViews.com

    Dear President Bush:

    I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

    I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.

    I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

    So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

    1. Free medical care for my entire family.

    2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

    3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

    4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

    5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

    6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their
    school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

    7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

    8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

    9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.

    10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.

    11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and
    have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

    12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.

    13. Pleae tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice, don't discriminate and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

    I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the
    people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

    However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.

    Thank you so much for your kind help.

    Sincerely,

    David M. Bresnahan

    David M. Bresnahan has over 30 years of experience as an award-winning journalist, broadcaster, radio station owner, talk show host, and business owner. David has been a prominent writer for many Internet newspapers.

  2. #2
    BEK's Avatar
    BEK
    BEK is offline Lieutenant
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    01-02-06
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    2,101
    Rep Power
    3397458
    +1


  3. #3
    FishTail Guest
    Now that's nice.

  4. #4
    TacticalII's Avatar
    TacticalII is offline Member
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    12-15-05
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    579
    Rep Power
    208908
    Good one.

  5. #5
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
    Join Date
    12-29-05
    Location
    Dallas Area
    Posts
    5,528
    Rep Power
    3224966
    Quote Originally Posted by Stan Switek
    I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.
    Tell ol' Dave to pack a toothbrush and hide it up his ass, because they may not have one in the Mexican prison he's going to.

    Oh never mind - Hide it somewhere else. They'll find it there

    (\__/)
    (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
    (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Chuck Norris : If I am elected president
    By BEB in forum General Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-19-07, 01:51 PM
  2. Mexico Objects to Alleged Border Incursion over Fire
    By Jackalope in forum In the News
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 03-16-07, 07:54 PM
  3. Israeli president facing rape charge
    By Roses in forum In the News
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-24-07, 03:58 AM
  4. Former President Ford dies
    By Piggybank Cop in forum In the News
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 12-27-06, 05:05 PM
  5. President Bush "a gem" to work for...
    By 121Traffic in forum General Topics
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 11-25-06, 09:17 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •