CB rants again... In your own backyard...

**countybear** · 09-10-10, 04:24 AM

/rant on

I don't go to bars. I just can't get comfortable in them. I've seen more dramatics, fanatics, lunatics, and just plain antics take place where people congregate to imbibe liquid courage in mass quantities and partake in clothed interpersonal anatomical gyration than seemingly anywhere else in the world. That said, hey, if you're into inhibition-robbing substances and interpersonal public gyration, more power to you. Just remember, the guy sitting on the next stool may know you or know of you, especially if you are a local law enforcement officer. You may have arrested his friend, relative, co-worker, or even him before. He's letting his hair down too, trying to relax from being a weekday warrior, and under normal circumstances, he'd never think of saying the first cross word to you. Enter liquid courage in mass quantities, and he's now a defense lawyer, an anarchist, a free Lindsey Lohan activist, a card carrying member of the police-picture dart throwing team, and takes direction straight from the ghost of Johnny Cochran.. (if the glove don't fit, the cop's a twit...)

He wants to be your pal. He'll buy you a few shots of liquid courage and tell you how he just doesn't know how you do that job of yours. (He would of course, not be able to contain himself professionally if he had to face the bad people you do on a regular basis). He'll agree with you when your head gets turned by a potential gyration partner. Better yet, he'll slap you on the back and just beg to hear more of those awesome war stories you love to tell after a few shots of tongue lubricant, and he will tell you how he's always got your back... He loves and respects the police, after all.

Then comes the inevitable drama and personal tragedy invariably magnified by the potent catalyst of alcohol and testosterone, and you are faced with having to disagree with him or a buddy of his: “Hey, you might be a cop on the street, but in here, you're as drunk as I am...” You want to be a calming influence in that situation. You want to reason with these nice folks... good luck with that. And then, the realization strikes your adopted cousin that he has now become in your eyes a candidate for yet another one of your amusing anecdotes. This strikes him as terribly unfair. After all, he bought you the rocket propellant that vaulted you onto the ethereal plane of existence you were enjoying. Like in Revelation, for just a little while all hell breaks loose and you're wearing the horns. At best this never happens, and all you become is the guy who's name gets dropped when Goodtime Charlie gets caught by one of your co-workers.

You see, it can be a bad thing to get familiar with someone who you might have, or might one day have to deal with professionally, especially when you are in both his environment and in the company of his own element. You see, this career you chose as a street cop tends to be one that can and will put you in a position to inconvenience, annoy, or just plain irritate your fellow man. You might even have to deprive someone of their freedom at some point, and that can make you slightly unpopular with the home team. Add to that the fact that (especially if you are an inexperienced cop), you can compound an already bad position by acting like one of those Dudley Do-Right types who dashes in without thinking to save the damsels in distress or pull the white knight routine when the dragons breathe on the castle. Get involved when you've been drinking and you've got the makings of a debacle of epic proportions, (followed by discovery, interrogatories, and the ever-present out of court settlement).

Some simple advice, don't play in your own backyard. The best tactic for avoidance is to get out of Tombstone when you're looking to take the edge off, Wyatt. Go where there's little chance of anyone knowing your unit number, or even the fact that you drive one. Then, keep your mouth shut. You are out of jurisdiction, out of uniform, and all out of advice. Relax and enjoy yourself without having to worry as much about whether the guy who you recently slammed a large metal door behind might show up. Regardless of what happens, resist the temptation to get involved except under the direst of circumstances. Your best role in that setting is that of a good witness, not a willing participant. Bring a friend to watch your back, but spend some time being John Q. Public rather than John Wayne if you are going to visit Margaritaville.

/rant off

**lewisipso** · 09-10-10, 04:50 AM

You couldn't have said it better yourself.

**Ducky** · 09-10-10, 05:31 AM

And all of the above points is why I never go drinking with my mother. She'd start some shit and I wouldn't want to take her down without backup. Lots of it.

**IMGreat101** · 09-10-10, 08:14 AM

Great read!

I choose to go elsewhere to unwind. Only the employees know me and guide me away from the "gregarious" crowd. My patronage and tipping assures my anonymity.

btw - Margaritaville is overrated.

**pac201** · 09-10-10, 09:53 AM

Originally Posted by lewisipso

You couldn't have said it better yourself.

I love it...

Double good advice by the way CB.

**Cidp24** · 09-10-10, 10:12 AM

Originally Posted by Ducky

And all of the above points is why I never go drinking with my mother. She'd start some shit and I wouldn't want to take her down without backup. Lots of it.

LOL, now that's not something you hear everyday.

Good one, CB - Best to stay in your own back yard LITERALLY if you are going to get sideways.

**Pudge** · 09-10-10, 10:27 AM

Agreed.

There's only one establishment that I'll frequent in my town, and it's usually for dinner and a beer or two. After that point if I feel like getting juiced, I'll finish the game at home, or the home of a friend or partner.

**Five-0** · 09-10-10, 10:50 AM

The last time I was in a bar was on the other side of the country from where I live/work. My libations were shared with a JAG attorney, former double stacked Army Ranger, and three Special Forces guys that I would not wake up if they were napping. We kept to ourselves.

**ms1600** · 09-10-10, 03:14 PM

In social situations, I just tell people I consult with companies regarding safety. I don't tell them who I work for because inevitably someone's father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate 'got screwed' by OSHA.

Plus it's cheaper to drink in your own backyard than at a bar these days.