Can people change?

**jcsgrl** · 04-25-06, 05:25 PM

Just wanna hear people's opinions on something.
I have a penpal who's in prison for selling drugs, he tells me he's got all these plans when he gets out that he's gonna have a steady job, have an apartment, get his life in order and not go back to crime.
I want to believe him but after taking several courses that say if a person has had several police contacts before a certain age they will be a criminal for life, which he has, and also that they have such great plans when they are in prison but when they get out they go back to their old ways, I can't really believe him.
So, Do you think people can change?

**Whitewolf** · 04-25-06, 05:28 PM

Some do, some don't. It's the way our brain is either working or not. My suggestion is: STAY AWAY from him. You don't know what in store, in the near future when he gets out. Sorry to say but it's not safe to be in contact with him.

FishTail · 04-25-06, 05:31 PM

He might. But when he gets out he'll find it hard to get a job with a felony record. And then he'll remember how much easy money he made selling drugs. Figure the rest out by yourself.

It's sad but it's reality.

**lcsodre108** · 04-25-06, 05:36 PM

In my experience as a C/O, and a LEO, I would say less than 5% change. The few that I have seen change, get far away from where they were convicted, get a new group of friends, and have to try everyday to stay straight, and very few can do it. I would find a new friend.

**StanSwitek** · 04-25-06, 05:37 PM

I'd say the chances are slim & none.

**keith720** · 04-25-06, 05:45 PM

I have almost 30 years in both Corrections and Law Enforcement, and in that time very, very few really change. Also, be sure to find out if that's what he's really in the joint for. I could cite dozens of cases when an inmate was in for something pretty serious, (sexual assault, aggravated battery, murder, etc.) and they misrepresented themselves, particularly to a member of the opposite sex. Follow Whitewolf's advice, and stay away from him.

**Retdetsgt** · 04-25-06, 05:55 PM

Everybody finds Jesus in jail. They shake him off as soon as they get out almost all the time though.

**mainedawg** · 04-25-06, 06:26 PM

Most people in jail or prison say they are going to change in someway when they get out. If they change all of thier old friends and move away from the area that they got caught in they have a chance. If they are urine tested they stand a better chance of making it.Old habits will haunt most of them. The test is in the first 30 days of getting out. That will tell you most of what you want to know. Good luck with your penpal.

**OfficerResource.com** · 04-25-06, 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by jcsgrl

Just wanna hear people's opinions on something.
I have a penpal who's in prison for selling drugs, he tells me he's got all these plans when he gets out that he's gonna have a steady job, have an apartment, get his life in order and not go back to crime.
I want to believe him but after taking several courses that say if a person has had several police contacts before a certain age they will be a criminal for life, which he has, and also that they have such great plans when they are in prison but when they get out they go back to their old ways, I can't really believe him.
So, Do you think people can change?

So I have a few questions for you. Where does he send his letter to? How did you meet him? what are you hoping to gain by writing to this inmate?

Now As far as his chance to change. Sure he has a "CHANCE" But I also have a chance to get struck by lightning. I also have a CHANCE to hit the lotto but I am not spending $100 a day trying.

I think it is good that you have faith in this man but you need to worry about your safety.

katiemh · 04-25-06, 06:42 PM

Originally Posted by Reca

So I have a few questions for you. Where does he send his letter to? How did you meet him? what are you hoping to gain by writing to this inmate?

Now As far as his chance to change. Sure he has a "CHANCE" But I also have a chance to get struck by lightning. I also have a CHANCE to hit the lotto but I am not spending $100 a day trying.

I think it is good that you have faith in this man but you need to worry about your safety.

I agree (with the above and everyone else).

But expanding on Reca's questions... were you friends with this person before he became your prison pen-pal or have you just recently "met" him since he's been incarcerated?

**jcsgrl** · 04-25-06, 08:41 PM

Originally Posted by Reca

So I have a few questions for you. Where does he send his letter to? How did you meet him? what are you hoping to gain by writing to this inmate?

He sends it to my house. I stuck my name on a penpal site once. All I wanted was a penpal.

**jcsgrl** · 04-25-06, 08:42 PM

I've been writing to him for about 4 years. I started writing to him after he'd been incarcerated.

**Vendetta** · 04-25-06, 09:59 PM

IF I NEVER MAKE A POINT ON THE INTERNET PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN TO ME. THEY WILL TELL YOU ANYTHING WHILE THEY ARE LOCKED UP...........DONT DO IT

**OfficerResource.com** · 04-25-06, 11:49 PM

Originally Posted by jcsgrl

I've been writing to him for about 4 years. I started writing to him after he'd been incarcerated.

So now this guy has your home address. HMMMMM

So he gets out and comes to find you. Right now he has a connection to you so naturaly he will come find you when he gets out.

If you are lonely there are many places on the internet to meet people.

My sugestion is this. If you rent MOVE. if you own your house tell the inmate you are moving and get a po box the next town over and give him the new address!

**Iron Man** · 04-26-06, 12:10 AM

Originally Posted by jcsgrl

Just wanna hear people's opinions on something.
I have a penpal who's in prison for selling drugs, he tells me he's got all these plans when he gets out that he's gonna have a steady job, have an apartment, get his life in order and not go back to crime.
I want to believe him but after taking several courses that say if a person has had several police contacts before a certain age they will be a criminal for life, which he has, and also that they have such great plans when they are in prison but when they get out they go back to their old ways, I can't really believe him.
So, Do you think people can change?

No he won't change.

But here is my quesion to you. Why the hell are you corresponding with a person in jail? Never trust what they say....

**OfficerResource.com** · 04-26-06, 12:45 AM

Kinda funny you write to inmates but hang out in LEO sites HMMM

**Iron Man** · 04-26-06, 12:53 AM

Originally Posted by Reca

Kinda funny you write to inmates but hang out in LEO sites HMMM

Yeah just a little...

**Whitewolf** · 04-26-06, 01:03 AM

I feel like my head is about to fall off my shoulder.

Jcsgrl, I don't frankly understand why you got a penpal with an inmate. You may have a big heart but you don't personally know their (inmates) hearts or mental states. But giving out your address is pretty scary and it never will be safe. What if you have a family? You made a bad choice of giving him your address.

There are plenty of penpals on sites. The rules on every sites stated, "Do not give out personal informations" even the address as well as the phones. Please, cease writing back and forth to your "penpal." Again I repeat, "STAY AWAY FROM HIM..." I hope you heed our warning to stay clear away from him and find a better penpal. <sigh>

**Lazy Fed** · 04-26-06, 01:08 AM

Originally Posted by jcsgrl

Do people change??

HELL NO!!!!!

ONCE A SCHLUB ALWAYS A SCHLUB!!!!

**jmur5074** · 04-26-06, 06:41 AM

Well, basically I'm going to echo everything everyone else has said.

People "can" change. But, it's not likely. I've worked in corrections for 9 months, and I have seen MANY inmates come back 2, 3, 4, even 5 or more times since I've been doing this. And that's only in 9 months.

Also, they will lie. And they will lie about anything. You can ask for the time and they'll lie about that, just because.

DO NOT trust him, and do not expect him to change. Stop corresponding with him.