Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Easiest case...

  1. #1
    Jks9199 is online now The Reason People Hate Cops & Causer of War
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    04-16-06
    Location
    Northern VA
    Posts
    4,124
    Rep Power
    6563843

    Easiest case...

    OK, posting publicly 'cause everyone deserves a laugh.

    What's the easiest, most "gimme" case you've worked? Some ground rules: drunk drivers running into your car don't count. Nor do DIP/Public Intox cases where the guy sits himself down in the "taxi with the weird lights." You need to actually have had to do some sort of follow-up or investigation -- more than just put the cuffs on the guy in front of you.

    So, for me... It probably would have to be the case of the hoodlum vandals who dared deface some playground equipment. By writing their names on it. And their phone numbers. Yes; their real names & real phone numbers. (Yeah, they were junior high kids. But it was one of those "high priority to appease certain people" jobs...)
    Voting against incumbents until we get a Congress that does its job.

    TASER: almost as good as alcohol for teaching white boys to dance

    "Don't suffer from PTSD -- Go out and cause it!"
    -- Col. David Grossman, US Army, ret.

    All opinions expressed are my own and are not official statements of my employer.

  2. #2
    IMGreat101's Avatar
    IMGreat101 is offline The Butcher
    Supporting Member Lvl 2
    Join Date
    11-17-09
    Location
    Des Moines, Iowa
    Posts
    4,674
    Rep Power
    3969921
    This had to be some LEO's easiest.

    My high school football team had a 70-0 record in the metro. When we lost our first game to a metro team some members of our team vandalized their school. As a parting shot, they spray painted their jersey numbers on the school.
    To Live Is To Eat

    IMG could turn a conversation about the weather into a mouthwatering food story. - Cidp24

    And always add bacon! - Shad Kirton, Co-owner/Chef Smokey D's

    There are no stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions.

    Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Solomon

    We were all born wild. It was up to our parents to domesticate us.

  3. #3
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Verified LEO
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    02-02-07
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    14,725
    Rep Power
    6962511
    Had a few goons standing around in a semi circle smoking marijuana. I walked right up behind one of them, in full uniform, and as he finished smoking his turn he passed it right to me instead of the guy next to him. Puff puff pass dude. Just know who you are passing it to.
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  4. #4
    countybear's Avatar
    countybear is offline BDRT - Baby Daddy Removal Team
    Verified LEO
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    01-18-07
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    6,512
    Rep Power
    4611628
    This one's a gimme. Lew remembers it well, I'm sure.

    Guy calls in demanding I arrest the hooker who just rolled him.

    Demanding, now mind you.

    After Miranda (written, of course), any my telling him that he will be effectively admitting to a crime, the guy gives me a written statement to the effect (paraphrased):

    "I called Sweet Thang up to give me oral sex for the agreed upon rate of $20. I picked her up and took her to my house and she performs her duty, blowing me like she usually does for the same agreed upon dollar amount as we have done before a bunch of times, $20. Instead of giving her a $20, like I always do, I accidentally gave her a $100 bill. She takes it and doesn't say a word (nor does she give me change). I took her home and then realized later it was a $100 I gave her, not the $20 I intended. So I went over and confronted her and she denies it, but I now know it was $100 because I don't have as many $100's in my wallet as I did before, but I still have the $20. I work hard for my money (TWSS). I want her ass locked up for stealing."

    I give the complainant a ride to Sweet Thang's house to do a "show up" ID. She, of course doesn't answer the door to the marked unit and uniformed cop in the driveway. Yep... she proves she's a hell of a lot smarter than he is.

    So, the guy just buys the ride for Soliciting Prostitution. Still demanding 'satisfaction' from a follow-up investigation. he nets himself about a $500.00 fine and year suspended DOC time on probation (don't forget registration as a sex offender), all over the $80 she rolled him for, but he goes down (TWSS) for it all, because as he says: "It's just the principle of the thing." If you can't trust your crackwhores nowadays, who can you trust, eh?

    Can't. Fix. Stupid.

    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  5. #5
    IndianaFuzz's Avatar
    IndianaFuzz is offline Policeman Perry fan club
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    11-09-08
    Location
    Muncie, IN
    Posts
    1,616
    Rep Power
    1596351
    Quote Originally Posted by Jks9199 View Post
    Some ground rules: drunk drivers running into your car don't count. Nor do DIP/Public Intox cases where the guy sits himself down in the "taxi with the weird lights." You need to actually have had to do some sort of follow-up or investigation -- more than just put the cuffs on the guy in front of you.
    Tell me your easiest, just make sure that it wasn't too easy..... hehehehehe
    CHIRP! CHIRP!

  6. #6
    Jks9199 is online now The Reason People Hate Cops & Causer of War
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    04-16-06
    Location
    Northern VA
    Posts
    4,124
    Rep Power
    6563843
    Quote Originally Posted by IndianaFuzz View Post
    Tell me your easiest, just make sure that it wasn't too easy..... hehehehehe
    Hey, if it makes the feature stories on America's Dumbest Criminals look like the work of geniuses... where's the fun. You just gotta have done something to make it happen. I actually had to look up the phone numbers in order to determine that the numbers matched the names!
    Voting against incumbents until we get a Congress that does its job.

    TASER: almost as good as alcohol for teaching white boys to dance

    "Don't suffer from PTSD -- Go out and cause it!"
    -- Col. David Grossman, US Army, ret.

    All opinions expressed are my own and are not official statements of my employer.

  7. #7
    Broke Hoss's Avatar
    Broke Hoss is offline Corporal
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    03-19-11
    Location
    Abilene, TX
    Posts
    558
    Rep Power
    1059442
    When I was working investigations, I had this type of thing happen more than once:

    While interviewing a robbery suspect, I never told him specifically what offense I was investigating. After the rights waiver, I basically told him we both knew why he was there; so, he should just go ahead & tell me about it. The guy confesses to a car burglary (it wasn't even reported; I had to do an investigation to locate the victim so I could make the case). After taking the confession, I tell him that was all well & good, but that wasn't what we were there for & he knew it; that it was more serious than BMV. So, the guy fesses up to a couple of house burglaries! I was afraid we were gonna be there all day before we got around to clearing my case, but he did.
    Blessed are the the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. MATT 5:10

  8. #8
    Rhino's Avatar
    Rhino is offline Meat-eater & Fire-breather
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    02-08-07
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    2,524
    Rep Power
    1750835
    I was an investigator working an armed robbery. It took place at a local restaurant as the two managers were closing. The offender was an ex-employee. How did we know? Because the managers knew the kid. Let's face it, if one of your ex-employees robbed you, facemask and all, you'd still know it was them. Their voice, their build, etc.

    So, long story short, Einstein was so nervous he only managed to get away with the manager's cell phones. We wait a few days (because the fired, disgruntled employee hadn't even picked up his last pay check yet, and he was coming in to get it) and pick up him up. We didn't right away because we didn't have a good address on him.

    During interview, he admitted to calling one of the employees at the restaurant, and that's how he found out about the robbery. Because he didn't do it, doncha know.

    So we verify he did call that employee on her cell phone. What number did genius call from?

    Why, one of the manager's stolen phones.

    It gets better.

    Einstein requests a jury trial. It goes. My boss takes the stand. Then me. Before defense has a chance to cross examine me, dummy changes his plea to guilty. The judge explains the time for negotiations are over. The jury has been pulled so if he is found guilty, he's bound to get a harsher sentence.

    He understands, and wants to change his plea.

    See you 15, dummy.
    "If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn't thinking." -Gen. George S. Patton

  9. #9
    Xiphos's Avatar
    Xiphos is online now I Void Warranties
    Verified LEO
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    03-09-08
    Location
    Thermopylae
    Posts
    8,379
    Rep Power
    7772240
    Get a call for vandalism. I went to the house which was recently purchased. The new owner was completely renovating it to use as a rental property. New plaster, new carpets, new floors, the whole nine yards.

    Over the past week or so someone has been breaking in during the day and damaging it. Each time it gets worse with me being the third or fourth report.

    The new walls had bulls eyes drawn and a broom used for target practice. The broom was used poking holes in the ceiling too. Windows shattered. The carpet has been set on fire. New paint has been spread all over, including the floor and back porch.

    As this poor guy is showing me this damage I see a kid about 12 years old walk up to the house from the woods. He sees me and starts to run. I yell at him to stop and come back and he does. Despite having a 50 yard head start, intimate knowledge of the neighborhood and 25 years of more youth worn off me.

    Carl Lewis comes back to me and his shoes are covered in dry paint. The same dry paint all over the patio and house. With the same tread that was dried into that paint. I seized his shoes and took him home where his father confirmed he came home a couple days ago covered in paint.

    I cleared thousands and thousands of dollars of property damage and also a burglary from next door because this kid listened to me when I ordered him to come back. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
    Pleasing nobody, one person at a time.

    That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.

    If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.

    I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones

    Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman

  10. #10
    Jenna's Avatar
    Jenna is offline sheep
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Join Date
    06-11-06
    Posts
    24,378
    Rep Power
    4817858
    Quote Originally Posted by Xiphos View Post
    I cleared thousands and thousands of dollars of property damage and also a burglary from next door because this kid listened to me when I ordered him to come back. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
    Now that's some Jedi mind trick!


  11. #11
    Jim1348 is offline Rookie
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    01-05-06
    Posts
    402
    Rep Power
    375128

    Easiest Cases

    I have had a few. There are some that readily come to mind:

    -While on patrol, I Start following this old green pickup. I would have stopped it, but I wasn't ready yet and was planning on following it for a bit. Then, the vehicle pulls to the right and stops in front of me. The drivers gets out, throws his hands straight up, and starts walking back to me. He states, "I am drunk and I have warrants, take me to jail." I think I basically said, "Well, we aim to please!"

    -I was working warrants and I go to look for a kid on a meth warrant. We stop by a flop house and ask for Mr. "X". The landlady basically asks, "Junior or Senior?" My warrant didn't specify, but it turns out both were there. My warrant turned out to be for Junior, but Senior also had a warrant, so father and son both get handcuffed and take the ride to jail!

    -Actually, almost any slam dunk case in Welfare Fraud Investigation. Lets see, they are on public assistance and are supposed to report ANY income. They go work a job and don't report the income, the wage match is done and notes the discrepancy. It doesn't get much easier than that.

  12. #12
    countybear's Avatar
    countybear is offline BDRT - Baby Daddy Removal Team
    Verified LEO
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    01-18-07
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    6,512
    Rep Power
    4611628
    Working my part time gig one night, I pull over a speeding pickup. 64/25. Driver gets out and its a frequent flyer I recognize immediately.

    "I'm sooo fucked..." he says.

    "Oh really? How's that?"

    "Well" he goes on, "I'm drunk, I'm suspended for prior DWI's, there's some smoke on me, and... Hell, I just stole this truck."

    "Yes, sir." I reply... "I'd say you are definitely fucked."

    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •