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12-17-12, 08:36 PM #1
Parents fearing their kids may turn into mass murderers say they can't get appropriate helpBut this week, one of these mothers stepped forward with an eloquent, wrenching cry for help that has echoed across the Web. In a blog post republished on the Blue Review titled “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother,” Liza Long writes, “I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me …”She goes on: “I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys — and their mothers — need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.”Long describes the love she has for her 13-year-old son, a brilliant boy who loves Harry Potter and has a “snuggle animal collection.” But according to her, this same child has also threatened her with a knife so many times that she keeps a Tupperware container for the days she has to collect all the sharp objects in the house. Nothing really helps, she says, not the powerful meds, the intermittent hospitalizations or what she calls a “Russian novel of behavioral plans.” She says she has trained her other children to lock themselves away for their own safety when their brother falls into one of his unpredictable rages.(PHOTOS: Newtown: Images of a Community in Mourning)She lays out the agonizing choices she says she’s been given, including having her child charged with a crime so that he is put in prison, a place that would surely exacerbate his symptoms and not necessarily keep him or the community safe. After all, you can’t keep someone indefinitely locked up for a crime they haven’t committed and will likely never commit.It’s a world of family turmoil that most of us can’t begin to comprehend and which may or may not be similar to the struggles of Adam Lanza’s mother. In any case, Long’s essay resonated, and the response has been enormous. The piece has been forwarded endlessly on Facebook and reblogged by national media sites. And more than 1,500 people have commented on Long’s original blog post.
Most commenters wrote to express their sympathy, but there were also many who wanted to tell Long she is not alone. These are people we don’t normally hear from unless a tragedy occurs. They are the mothers, the fathers and the siblings of boys like Michael. These are the parents who report having to hide their knives or sleep with their bedroom doors locked. And in some cases, the commenters are young men who say they are plagued by the same demons as Long’s sonTheir testimonies form a trail of heartbreak that stretches for dozens of pages.
“Your story is my story and it is a very scary and often lonely path,” writes one parent. “As my son gets older and stronger the fear of what may be looms closer and closer and I just want to have the smart, sensitive sweet boy with me all the time, not the boy that when he says he wants to kill me, I believe him. The boy who wants to be tucked in at night with his stuffed animals and snuggles our dog, not the boy who can lift me off the ground in a rage and slam me into a wall. I pray daily for some kind of help.”
“Rachael” writes to say that her brother is a boy like Michael, offering evidence of the pain mental illness can cause a family: “I can’t believe it. You just described my brother. They say he’s aspergers, but I don’t know if that accounts for all of it. He’s normally really sweet, sensitive, and very very smart, but when he snaps, he curses, hurts people, throws things, threatens suicide, and pulls knives. I have scars from where he’s scratched or strangled me.”.
12-18-12, 10:37 AM #2
I read that blog post several days ago. She makes a very good point about how broken our mental health system is.Pleasing nobody, one person at a time.
That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.
If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.
I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones
Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman
12-18-12, 01:34 PM #3The Reason People Hate Cops & Causer of WarSupporting Member Lvl 2
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So did I. I'll dig up the comment I made when it was posted -- but it amounts the simple fact that we really don't have something to do for the "could be dangerous, needs care/support/monitoring but won't go voluntarily and hasn't crossed the line into involuntary commitment range." Prior institutionalization sucked... but the absolute lack of options right now isn't working much better.Voting against incumbents until we get a Congress that does its job.
TASER: almost as good as alcohol for teaching white boys to dance
"Don't suffer from PTSD -- Go out and cause it!"
-- Col. David Grossman, US Army, ret.
All opinions expressed are my own and are not official statements of my employer.
12-18-12, 01:46 PM #4
Since this is public forum I'll keep my opinion out of here.Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me
We are who we choose to be.
R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012
12-18-12, 04:58 PM #5
Our mental health system is broken, but to place every child, and the mother of every child in the position that existed in CT is foolish. How many millions of children, young adults and adults cope with mental illness every year? They don't go out and murder innocent women and children.For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.
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