Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 20 of 20
  1. #1
    Whitewolf's Avatar
    Whitewolf is offline Hard Of Hearing Non-LEO
    Join Date
    12-29-05
    Location
    Los Angeles county
    Posts
    296
    Rep Power
    343082

    Grrrrrr! Why do some teens get to be so worse than our days????

    My daughter got into a trouble in school (another tardyyyyyyyy). I thought she learned a hard lesson, did she? NO! The more we drill into her ears, the more she keeps on ignoring us: me, her probation officer, her dean, etc...NOTHING! And guess what? She got OTed to another middle school...but farther than our home. JEEZ! And NOT a safe school either in Los Angeles.

    I yelled at her on the phone, and she told me she knew it..but she didn't want to go to that middle school. I asked her to give me one reason; they will beat me up there. I told her she should have THOUGHT of that before getting OT. I told her it's TOO late, she has to go to that school. Not my problem if she don't shape up or listen to us. Now I have to juggle the time I have to drive her to middle school and the time I have to drop the neighbor's son off to this middle school. I don't think I can do it since every morning, I dropped my son and neighbor's daughter to elementary school, then drop a same neighbor's son and my daughter at middle school. <sigh> That boy is only 11 years old just celebrated his b-day this month.

    I told her she has to go to school over there OR she'll get in trouble. She plugged her ears and went "La la la la la la...." <sigh> She's 12 1/2, jeez. My son looked at her and shook his head...I am hoping he won't end up like her. He'll be graduating from elementary school in June. I took my son to Southwest Museum and he LOVED it. He wants to go back..

    Now, what do you do when your kid get out of trouble and a rebel? I gave her tough love and it's NOT working. Blame the California in the past: You can't spank her or slap her, you can't yell at a child with the tone of your voice, blah blah blah....or can get in trouble with a social worker...blah blah blah..now they opened their eyes and it's TOO late.... jeez. I was glad my mom gave me good spankings and yelling. <sigh>
    I SEE NEKKED PEOPLE! AIN'T SKEERED!!!!!

  2. #2
    StanSwitek's Avatar
    StanSwitek is offline Corporal
    Join Date
    12-04-05
    Location
    Huntington Beach, CA
    Posts
    891
    Rep Power
    1143373
    I have my kid do laps & pushups for discipline. I hope it works.

  3. #3
    MisterK's Avatar
    MisterK is offline Monkey Man
    Join Date
    12-14-05
    Location
    Sin City
    Posts
    445
    Rep Power
    667597
    The more we drill into her ears,


    One would think you'd get in trouble in California for that.
    Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft. -
    Theodore Roosevelt

    ____________________

    People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

  4. #4
    MisterK's Avatar
    MisterK is offline Monkey Man
    Join Date
    12-14-05
    Location
    Sin City
    Posts
    445
    Rep Power
    667597
    Quote Originally Posted by StanSwitek
    I have my kid do laps & pushups for discipline. I hope it works.

    Stan, your punishment system reminded me of this.

    Lisa: As you know, we've inherited quite a budget crunch
    from President Trump. How bad is it Secretary Van
    Houten?
    Milhouse: [shows to a chart] We're broke.
    Lisa: The country is broke? How can that be?
    Milhouse: Well, remember when the last administration decided
    to invest in our nation's children? Big mistake.
    Aide: The balanced breakfast program just created a
    generation of ultra-strong super-criminals.
    Milhouse: And midnight basketball taught them to function
    without sleep.
    Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft. -
    Theodore Roosevelt

    ____________________

    People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

  5. #5
    Whitewolf's Avatar
    Whitewolf is offline Hard Of Hearing Non-LEO
    Join Date
    12-29-05
    Location
    Los Angeles county
    Posts
    296
    Rep Power
    343082
    Quote Originally Posted by StanSwitek
    I have my kid do laps & pushups for discipline. I hope it works.
    I'm gonna try these on her. I do hope. We chatted long and long time until she fell asleep. She apologized for all the wrong things she did in school. <sigh> But I can't trust her yet if she really means it with her apology. She has to find a way to gain my trust again. I'm thinking of moving to Indio, California. But I've no idea what it is like until a friend of mine told me it's a very quiet location with good neighborhood. I dunno yet.
    I SEE NEKKED PEOPLE! AIN'T SKEERED!!!!!

  6. #6
    Whitewolf's Avatar
    Whitewolf is offline Hard Of Hearing Non-LEO
    Join Date
    12-29-05
    Location
    Los Angeles county
    Posts
    296
    Rep Power
    343082
    Quote Originally Posted by MisterK
    One would think you'd get in trouble in California for that.
    LOL! Funny pic, MisterK, it helped lessen my stress of being very angry at her. I don't like being angry and now my head sprouted more white strands of hair.
    I SEE NEKKED PEOPLE! AIN'T SKEERED!!!!!

  7. #7
    Crimebytes2's Avatar
    Crimebytes2 is offline Banned
    Join Date
    04-14-06
    Location
    Council Bluffs, Iowa
    Posts
    2,005
    Rep Power
    0
    Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it sooner, too!

    On a more serious note, I've been there and done that (my daughter is 26 now), and I have the gray to show for it! All I can say is don't give up on her... you're the best thing she has going for her!

  8. #8
    nitestokker's Avatar
    nitestokker is offline Banned
    Join Date
    05-11-06
    Location
    The I-80 corridor, Meth Alley.
    Posts
    990
    Rep Power
    0
    Just make sure you follow up the discipline with explanation and positive reiforcement. I punish my kids as best as I can match the punishment to the crime. Then I sit down and make THEM explain to ME what they did wrong and why it was wrong. Then we hug and talk about how we love each other and how I am responsible for their care, safety and successful future. Then we move on. I was raised with the punishment and no explanation or love afterward. It was, "JUST DO IT AND SHUT UP!" or "BECAUSE I SAID SO!" Because of this it took me many years to learn why I was always getting in trouble. I'm the same way on the street and it works good(for me anyway). I explain what I'm doing and why and the bad guy usually thanks me and gives me a handshake as I walk him into jail. Verbal Judo is a wonderful thing! Of course much like pepper spray, it doesn't work on everyone. Best of luck!

  9. #9
    MisterK's Avatar
    MisterK is offline Monkey Man
    Join Date
    12-14-05
    Location
    Sin City
    Posts
    445
    Rep Power
    667597
    Now explain to me why it was bad you stabbed that woman in the eye....
    Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft. -
    Theodore Roosevelt

    ____________________

    People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

  10. #10
    nitestokker's Avatar
    nitestokker is offline Banned
    Join Date
    05-11-06
    Location
    The I-80 corridor, Meth Alley.
    Posts
    990
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by MisterK
    Now explain to me why it was bad you stabbed that woman in the eye....
    How did you know about that? I thought I took care of all the witnesses. Dammit! I hope I'm clear of the statute of limitations! lol!

  11. #11
    janmyers1 is offline Rookie
    Join Date
    05-31-06
    Posts
    9
    Rep Power
    0
    Hi... I am new here & this post really caught my eye.. Hope you dont mind my response..

    I have raised 3 boys ... One at the age of 15 became a total terror... (I was raise with beatings so I avoided them with my kids) I watched a show about a teen that was rebeling & getting into it with the LEO... The solution... Martial Arts. I enrolled him & one other son. The instuctors gave me things to do at home if they messed up.. If they didn't do as I told them all I did was tell the instructors & they disciplined them... Push ups .. & all the exercises that they did in class... It took about 3 months but they got the message... Now at the ages of 28 & 19 they are in great shape... & never get into trouble. (The 3 rd son (26) was the ANGEL child LOL) Both have told me that it was the best thing I could have done for them...
    This may sound weird but.... Thank Goodness for Chuck Norris (AKA Walker Texas Ranger) ... & his Kick drugs out of America program

    Hope this might help you

  12. #12
    Whitewolf's Avatar
    Whitewolf is offline Hard Of Hearing Non-LEO
    Join Date
    12-29-05
    Location
    Los Angeles county
    Posts
    296
    Rep Power
    343082
    Thank you all very much. I hope it works for my daughter.

    Crimebytes2, thanks, so I'm not the only one (their dad only has some white hair, mine are worse than him since he hardly take charge! Momma's boy is he. Grrrr!)... I have a couple friends who already have grey hairs by the time their kids turned 16. My daughter once told me when she meet a guy in her earlier 20's she will make me a grandmother. I better sneak out to Hawaii. I need my relaxation over there. LOL!

    janmyers, I'm thinking of sending her to Martial Arts or Basketball. She's getting to my height a little bit. I'm 5'4" and she's 5'2."
    I SEE NEKKED PEOPLE! AIN'T SKEERED!!!!!

  13. #13
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Verified LEO
    Site Moderator
    Join Date
    01-06-06
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    5,365
    Rep Power
    5488746
    As I posted in other threads, my 17-year-old is really pushing the envelope. Her latest involved an underage drinking citation which earned her a $173.00 fine that SHE is paying, as well as a month of grounding. The thing that I'm learning, and my wife is finally learning is be consistent and be firm. If you give a punishment, stick with it! I told my kid that I'd have her arrested if she broke the law, and I did. I told her I'd have her written if she used drugs or alcohol, and I did. It's not easy having cops that you know and work with everyday coming to the house and laying the law down, but I'd rather have her learn the consequences now, and have time to change, than to end up in an orange jumpsuit later in life. She hates me now, but hopefully she'll appreciate me later in life.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  14. #14
    janmyers1 is offline Rookie
    Join Date
    05-31-06
    Posts
    9
    Rep Power
    0
    We got the whole family involved …We did classes in the front yard… The neighbors loved the show LOL…

    I do encourage you to check out several schools as there are many different disciplines. Find the one that is comfortable to you…
    I really wish you a lot of luck From the sounds of it you are a really good & caring parent … That is what she needs most… She will thank you later for all you are doing for her…

  15. #15
    janmyers1 is offline Rookie
    Join Date
    05-31-06
    Posts
    9
    Rep Power
    0
    I agree with you... I don't have perfect kids & two of my son's have been to jail as juveniles … When they were younger My husband & I both told them that if they were arrested that they would stay in jail & would wouldn’t bail them out..
    #1 we didn’t have the money to do it.
    #2 If they were old enough to do the crime they could do the time…
    They only did twice… The older one was because of
    #1 a gas & go that a friend was driving… He thought that even if he got out that he would have been arrested… Cops told him Nope they would have question him & took his statement & then let him go…( he didn’t know that was what his friend was doing till the friend laid rubber laughing..

    #2 was because his aged grandmother had him on her checking account & she wrote checks that made the ones were he paid the bills bounce. Instead of letting her take the fall he took the time for it… They live on a limited budget & she was always going over it..( I now have the control)

    Boy #2 was he took a knife to school to show off… He got busted by a teacher… He was to have nothing but probation… he thought if he ignored it it would go away…
    Now both obey the laws & know that Mom & Dad weren’t wrong LOL both set out the time … we put no money towards it at all.. Even one officer told us… you need to bail him out… there is a rough crowd in there…( The boy was 16) We still let him set… He told us when he got out… I never want to go there again..

  16. #16
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-16-06
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    3,406
    Rep Power
    4019286
    You guys got this, but I felt the need to add one cent. I'd add to two cents, but that is all I got. I was a Senior Counselor/Teacher for at- risk youth (i.e.-felons, delinquents, baby criminals) for a while and the thing I can say works best is consistent caring. Firm does not mean not caring. Kids need to feel like they can come to you and talk out a problem, not get scolded for something that already did and are now scared about. That doesn't mean they don't need the ass whooping, too, it means that you listen first and let them come to the decision they need an ass whooping. If you stay consistent with that, they will figure it out. It is a tough job, and I don't envy you in your situation. It takes forever to change a pattern of behavior that has been building her whole life. Just a heads up, we kept kids 24 hrs a day for ten months or more and only about 1 in four actually stuck with the change.

  17. #17
    Jks9199 is offline The Reason People Hate Cops & Causer of War
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    04-16-06
    Location
    Northern VA
    Posts
    4,128
    Rep Power
    6583115
    Martial arts can be a good place to learn discipline, but so can any athletic program, or music classes, or lots of other things.

    It all comes down to the coaches/instructors. You can't just throw the kid in and say "fix 'em!" You have to make sure that the instructors will push discipline, that you like the style of discipline their teaching and so on. And you have to be involved with it. You don't necessarily have to take classes, too, but you have to be interested enough to go and watch.

  18. #18
    Terminator's Avatar
    Terminator is offline BANNED
    Join Date
    12-03-05
    Location
    None of your business
    Posts
    16,064
    Rep Power
    0

    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by janmyers1
    .... Thank Goodness for Chuck Norris (AKA Walker Texas Ranger) ... & his Kick drugs out of America program

    Chuck Norris saves the day AGAIN!!!

  19. #19
    TheOldRhino's Avatar
    TheOldRhino is offline Corporal
    Join Date
    05-23-06
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,142
    Rep Power
    2707687
    Quote Originally Posted by Whitewolf
    Now, what do you do when your kid get out of trouble and a rebel? I gave her tough love and it's NOT working. Blame the California in the past: You can't spank her or slap her, you can't yell at a child with the tone of your voice, blah blah blah....or can get in trouble with a social worker...blah blah blah..now they opened their eyes and it's TOO late.... jeez. I was glad my mom gave me good spankings and yelling. <sigh>
    First off, there is a difference between corporal punishment and abuse. Make sure you know your state laws. Here in GA we have kids who firmly believe it's illegal for their parents to simply lay a hand on them. So mom or dad pops them, they call me, and I tell the little shit "You show your butt like that again and I'll spank you myself." Don't believe what your kid tells you is state law- find out for yourself.

    That being said, if it is illegal for you to spank your child in your state (though I find it hard to believe)- you can always drive her over state lines.

    Now, as I tell parents, let's go to the bed room. What does she have? Anything outside food, one set of clothing (which doesn't have to be fashionable), and a place (not bed... place) to sleep everything else is a luxury.

    TV? Take it. X-box? Take it. Computer? Take it. Bed? Take it. (Army cots are about 50 bucks at the ol' Army-Navy store). Clothing? Take it (leaving one set of clothes out for her to wear for school). Teenagers like privacy, don't they? Door on her bedroom? Take it off the frame. I've even heard of parents taking their teenagers hygiene privileges.

    However, I suggest not taking everything at once- try to always leave them one more thing you can take away. Leaving the door or bed for last, for example. Once you take something away, explain to them how they may go about getting it back. The important thing is a routine and a set of rules that are known and easily followed. If you change the rules or the routine from one day to the next, then they won't perform to your expectations.

    Your child, owns nothing. Remember that. Educate yourself and refuse to be a victim to your own child.

    Even if the beatings my folks gave me were illegal and I even called the cops, my folks would be me that much harder before the cops even got their so that it would be worth going to jail over.
    Last edited by TheOldRhino; 05-31-06 at 12:53 PM.
    The virtue of spirit has no need for thanks or approval. Only the certain conviction that what has been done is right. -Jor El, as played by Marlon Brando

  20. #20
    Whitewolf's Avatar
    Whitewolf is offline Hard Of Hearing Non-LEO
    Join Date
    12-29-05
    Location
    Los Angeles county
    Posts
    296
    Rep Power
    343082
    Centurion44, actually, this state of California does not mind about spanking or slapping. It's the parents who voted against spanking, scolding, and slapping. Earlier, social workers took an opportunity that spanking or slapping is an abuse. I disagree with them. I recalled a friend of mine who used to live downstair in the rear apartment. Her son raised hell at the age of 7 and 8. He drove her crazy and us friends/tenants crazy too. One time, he was yelling at the top of his little lungs at his mother, loud enuff for ppl to call police officer(s). Sure, enuff, this good officer I forgot his name but he's really GOOD. He asked him what was the matter. He told him that his mom was gonna spank him because he won't take a bath. Oooh, good. This officer replied that his mom has the RIGHT to spank his butts and yelled, "GO TAKE A BATH, BOY!" This boy scampered off so scare and did what he was told to. And told this poor mother who is also hearing-impaired that if she continues to have any problem with him, she can call the PD and he'll be there for her. Nice. Heheheheee.

    The boy needs to control his vocal. He's wild like his dad, "Help, call 911! Help, she'll gonna 'hit' me..." I was stunned. I was there when he yelled "hit." I sat him down, cooled him down, and then questioned him of where did he learn to say, "hit" instead of "spank" or "slap." He won't tell me for a fear of retaliation. Going back, I recalled the trouble boy who used to live in the front apartment...interesting. He influenced my friend's son and his family also influenced my kids earlier..but that straightened out. His family is full of foul languages and the older ones teach the younger siblings that "slap" or "spank" is a "hit."

    At the table, I explained to him that is mom has the right to spank him or slap if he misbehaves or use foul language plus the rules he has to obey, etc...we chatted for hours until he fell asleep on the chair. Funny, some kids have the habit of falling sleep sitting up straight. I picked him up (darn, he's heavy, a husky-build child), put him in his bed, and tucked him in then put his favorite teddy bear next to him. I talked to his mom for a few hours until 3 a.m. It was a long night. Counseling is an option for him since he was yelling too much and has some behavior problems. Now he's in Arizona, he improved pretty good now and I'm happy to know that he's settle down and start respecting his mother more. His younger brother who is now 5, is another one for her...she's freaking out. <sigh>

    Okay, update: I took my daughter to another school where she was opportunity transferred there yesterday for an appt. Gotta luv it! This lady dean was scolding at the top of her lungs at my daughter. She freaked out sitting so tight on the chair. She barely move. She told my daughter that teachers have the RIGHT to yell even if the classrooms are full of chatter-bugs. She also yelled at her that I have every right to discipline no matter what and she has to comply every rules I gave her and her brother. And she has NO right to yell back at me or try to explain the lame excuses. Nice. We came home, she was sooo quiet. Giving her a test, I asked her to pick up the crayons she left on the carpet near the bookcase. She did. Hmmm..interesting. I asked her to vacuum the carpet. She did.

    Scratching my head and smiled. That MS is GOOOD for her. And the best is, she stays until 3:10 instead of that old MS's 2:45 p.m. All teachers are strict over there than her old MS. I don't see any probation officer, school police around..just a couple of security guys and very strict ppl who wears the MS logo shirts. Hmmmm...so that's it. That MS can handle the problem and situation. Like an old days. They also can send the kids home if they did not wear the uniforms. And the lady dean even makes the kids call their parents. Ahhh, that's good. So I told the lady I rather have my daughter STAYS in her MS instead of going back to the old one. I'll request one and see if my son can attend there.

    Oops, sorry for the longer thread. Make sure you drink coffee so you won't fall asleep.
    I SEE NEKKED PEOPLE! AIN'T SKEERED!!!!!

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Violence in Today's Youth
    By Blue Jacket in forum In the News
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-22-07, 08:40 PM
  2. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-15-07, 02:32 AM
  3. New Law Has Some Teens Riding Dangerously
    By BEB in forum In the News
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-28-07, 10:16 AM
  4. Teens sentenced for cooking puppy in oven
    By Star Man in forum In the News
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 02-10-07, 02:59 AM
  5. Amnesia Victim Wandered for 25 Days
    By Piggybank Cop in forum General Topics
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-26-07, 08:35 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •